STEP 1: Do your research! Does this company hire convicted embezzlers? No? Chin up! That’s because they haven’t met YOU yet! STEP 2: Dress the part! Find out who will be interviewing you. Find out their home address. Go to it the night before...

1. What are you, the Pope? NO ONE CARES. 2. That reminds me of the time I did the exact same thing, but better. 3. LOL (IRONICALLY) 4. We should sex it up sometime. 5. so ur fat now? 6. !!!!!!!!!! <<<< Stop that. 7. stupid stupid stupid...

She was sittin’ on a Greyhound, Eatin’ up a beef stick Thinkin’ of her hometown Tryin’ to feel the baby kick When a fella with a top hat and a gold-plated cane sat Next to her and here-is-what-he-said: (Chorus) Pardon me But I believe That I...

Casey Kasem:  Today’s long distance dedication is from a very special friend.  His name is Karl and he’s writing from an undisclosed home for the mentally challenged.  Here’s what he says:   Dear Casey,  I reckon I killed somebody right last...

Miss Suzy had a baby. The baby had no dad. Miss Suzy was a skankpot. The baby was a Baaassstards don’t have daddys. Daddys marry moms. Daddys don’t marry daddys. Unless they go to Heeeelll and I’m not kidding. Obama makes me cry. Socialism’s...