I'm that much of a lady. It's true. Right. You're wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Believe it or not, I'm still talking about surfing. Today's session was at a break that's new to me, a break I've wanted to surf for years but couldn't...

Soul Brother #1 hates when I look at stuff like this. When this episode aired, I was 10. He was 19. So he could have been one of the brothers we're looking at. I was still a little heavy-set kid with gigantic pigtails, buck teeth and glasses. He was in...

I said I would paddle out today in spite of all of that would normally prompt me to turn around and go home. As usual, I went home satisfied. There were waves. Small waves, yes. Makes no matter to me in the long run. One can only stay dry for so long....

It probably equals a region of unhappy surfers. The last time I surfed was Saturday . . . in costume. That's not exactly a bona fide surf session. I've been to the beach every morning for three straight days. Each day I've gone home dry. Dry, I tell...

Yes, the pink fuzzy slippers stayed on throughout the heat. I even swam in with them on. I've said it before. I'll say it again. It takes mad skills to surf in that kind of footwear. Do I at least get points for that? This contest was something else....