I thought I'd put together a guide for new, or soon-to-be-new parents about their new baby. I offer this advice based on extensive research by watching baby cartoons. 0-2 months: Your baby will eat, sleep, cry, and shit -- in any random order. You...

Just a few thoughts to tide you over while I work on other thoughts... A cool invention would be creating lemons that have a tequila-filled centre. Is it me or does every German-speaking man sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger? You know those free...

As we're in the midst of autumn, I get to enjoy watching the leaves change colour, fall to the ground and die, leaving me having to spend countless hours sweeping and cleaning and bagging the leaves. Man, I love autumn! I was hunting for the meaning of...

Do you say Autumn or Fall? While you ponder that, take a look at what I've been pondering for the past few days. That's unfathomable! Not only that, it's in a depth of water that cannot be measured using fathoms!I don't mind paying an arm and a leg,...

I'll keep this one short and sweet. I could make it longer, but that's more of a threat than anything else. I was walking through this haystack the other day and almost cut my foot open on a needle. How the hell did a needle get in there?Joe Wilson...