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Not Always Right

Funny & stupid customer quotes.
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30 Users are Following

9.3
excellent
based on editor's review
4 user reviews 9.4


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Tiny Pooch With A Super-Sized Grudge

May 26, 2009
(I’m taking orders and money in the drive-thru booth during a rush. A customer pulls up to the window.) Me: “Hi, your total is $6.54.” Customer: *glaring* “I’m mad at you!” Me:...

Good Service, To A Point

May 22, 2009
Customer: “I want to return this knife! The lady I bought this from put this sticky stuff around the blade.” Me: “Ma’am, all of our knives have the protective seal to keep you from getting...

Home of the Disclaimer

May 19, 2009
Customer: “…and I’d like extra tomatoes on my sandwich, please.” Me: “All right, that’ll be.” Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!” Me: “Well ma’am, you asked for cheese, bacon, and...

The (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done

May 6, 2009
(Note: 1-1-2 is Germany’s version of 9-1-1.) Me: “1-1-2, what’s your emergency?” Caller: “Oh my god! Help me! Help me!” Me: “Calm down, please. Can you tell me what happened, if someone is hurt...

Serf and Turf

May 6, 2009
Customer: “Where are all of your baked goods?!” Me: “We’re going to be closing here in about five minutes, and we usually don’t bring out any fresh baked goods at this time–” Customer: “Well, in...

Faux Naturale

Nov 10, 2009
(Retail | Kingston, NY, USA) Me: “Good morning! What can I help you with today?” Customer: *stares* Me: “Ma’am, did you need help with something?” Customer: “How old are you?” Me: “I just turned 21 this week.” Customer: “21, eh? You know what I’m...

A Tale Of Time Traveling Tune-Ups

Nov 10, 2009
(Call Center | Norway) Customer: “Hi, I need to schedule an appointment to test my car. I need it as soon as possible!” Me: “Okay, let’s see. First available appointment is actually today. Would you like me to put you up for that?” Customer: “Hmm…I...

Not Too Hot To Pot

Nov 10, 2009
(Retail | Atlanta, GA, USA) (I work at a paint-your-own-pottery studio where we fire the ceramics in our own kilns.) Customer: “How long does it take to get the pottery back?” Me: “It takes one week, sir.” Customer: “Well I need my pottery in two...

Tall Is The New Small

Nov 10, 2009
(Restaurant | Denver, CO, USA) Me: “Hello, ladies. What can I start you off to drink?” Customer: “I’ll have a draft beer.” Me: “Certainly. Would you like the 12 ounce or the 18 ounce?” Customer: “Oh, bring me the tall.” (I return with her large...

A Squeaky Clean Record

Nov 9, 2009
(Grocery Store | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA) (The junior college near my grocery store has some guy who makes very good fake IDs. After a couple of months, we’ve become adept at spotting them. One night, a young customer tries to pass one on me.) Me:...


Comments & Reviews: Show these reviews on your blog


lisa lewis
9.6
excellent
  Excellent! I have been on the customer service side; and also on the side of the customer who couldn't get why her gas tank kept ending up on the wrong side of the hose...LOL
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Posted 10/11/09 2:10 AM


Kyle H.
9.2
excellent
  Every conversation I've read so far has given me a chuckle. Nice blog.
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Posted 4/12/09 6:04 PM


elle smith
9.7
excellent
  Makes me blessedly thankful that i no longer work in retail. Funny as all get out :D
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Posted 3/8/09 5:03 AM


Matt Harwood
9.0
excellent
  Hilarious commentary that many people can relate to.
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Posted 4/12/08 1:04 PM