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Not Always Right

Funny & stupid customer quotes.
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31 Users are Following

9.3
excellent
based on editor's review
4 user reviews 9.4


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Tiny Pooch With A Super-Sized Grudge

May 26, 2009
(I’m taking orders and money in the drive-thru booth during a rush. A customer pulls up to the window.) Me: “Hi, your total is $6.54.” Customer: *glaring* “I’m mad at you!” Me:...

Good Service, To A Point

May 22, 2009
Customer: “I want to return this knife! The lady I bought this from put this sticky stuff around the blade.” Me: “Ma’am, all of our knives have the protective seal to keep you from getting...

Home of the Disclaimer

May 19, 2009
Customer: “…and I’d like extra tomatoes on my sandwich, please.” Me: “All right, that’ll be.” Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!” Me: “Well ma’am, you asked for cheese, bacon, and...

The (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done

May 6, 2009
(Note: 1-1-2 is Germany’s version of 9-1-1.) Me: “1-1-2, what’s your emergency?” Caller: “Oh my god! Help me! Help me!” Me: “Calm down, please. Can you tell me what happened, if someone is hurt...

Serf and Turf

May 6, 2009
Customer: “Where are all of your baked goods?!” Me: “We’re going to be closing here in about five minutes, and we usually don’t bring out any fresh baked goods at this time–” Customer: “Well, in...

Best. Grandpa. Ever.

Nov 20, 2009
(Grocery Store | Portland, ME, USA) (I work at a small grocery store owned by my Grandpa. It’s in the middle of summer and a customer wearing a thick jacket comes in.) Customer: “Can I get some cigarettes?” Grandpa: “Excuse me, would you mind open...

Wrong About The Right

Nov 20, 2009
(Jewelry Store | Leicestershire, UK) (I’m filling out a return slip for a customer.) Customer: “Oh! You’re a lefty!” Me: “Err no, this is my right hand.” Customer: “But it’s on my left!” Me: “It’s still my right...

Third Tail's A Charm

Nov 20, 2009
(Hotel | Sanibel, FL, USA) Customer: “Hi, I’m planning to stay here for a few days and just wanted to find out whether I can bring pets.” Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our hotel has a strict no pet policy.” Customer: “So I can’t bring my dog?” Me: “No,...

How About A Chia Pet Instead

Nov 20, 2009
(Pet Store | San Diego, CA, USA) (I walk up to a customer and her family holding one of our pet store rabbits.) Me: “So, are you ready to buy that rabbit?” Customer: “Yeah, I think I’m going to. What do rabbits need?” Me: “Well, the first thing a...

At Least They Made It To The Paper Anniversary

Nov 19, 2009
(Grocery Store | Greensboro, NC, USA) (I am waiting to bag a couple’s groceries. The man walks to the end of the register and looks me straight in the eyes.) Customer: *out of earshot of wife* “Let me tell you something.” Me: “Okay.” Customer: “If...


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lisa lewis
9.6
excellent
  Excellent! I have been on the customer service side; and also on the side of the customer who couldn't get why her gas tank kept ending up on the wrong side of the hose...LOL
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Posted 10/11/09 2:10 AM


Kyle H.
9.2
excellent
  Every conversation I've read so far has given me a chuckle. Nice blog.
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Posted 4/12/09 6:04 PM


elle smith
9.7
excellent
  Makes me blessedly thankful that i no longer work in retail. Funny as all get out :D
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Posted 3/8/09 5:03 AM


Matt Harwood
9.0
excellent
  Hilarious commentary that many people can relate to.
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Posted 4/12/08 1:04 PM