Three years ago, I moved back to Milwaukee from France. There was a horrendous blizzard to welcome my arrival. As soon as the plane landed, I had firm intentions of getting out of here as soon as I could. That seems like a lifetime ago. I look...

Yay!!!!

Me: Seriously, you are crazy right now. Do you have attention deficit disorder? Him: No, my attention is focused on this and it is not defecating.

Me: On my way back from the mailbox, there was a kitty on the porch. I pet it and it was so sweet and cute and I love it. Him: (feigned excitement) Really?!! Are you going to get a kitty to piss all over your new house?!!!!

No, internet, I am NOT pregnant. But, in one month, I will be a homeowner. I. AM. SO. EXCITED! The process of buying this house thus far has been tantamount to conception, what with all the sweating and grunting and arguments and failed attempts. But...