I sat down on the side of the dike, overlooking the grassland beside the river Waal. The sun was setting and disappeared slowly behind the low clouds on the horizon. The day was surprisingly warm, considering that it was the 21st of November. My shoes...

I know why I fled the convent. I realised that Zen is never going to solve my problems. My fears, sadness, anger, jealousy, they will never go away. It’s true: you can read this kind of thing a thousand times, but you only know what it means when you...

I went on sesshin led by Ton Lathouwers. If you want, you can read my notes on this page: Steyl – Maha Karuna Ch’an – Ton Lathouwers

It happens every year. In October, I notice the first changes, and by the time November comes around, it’s here to stay for months. Winter blues. It’s one thing I can count on to return every year. I was hoping I would escape it this year, as one of...

There’s a full moon tonight. I sat outside for zazen. The sky was clear and the air was crisp. Everything in my garden had a silver sheen to it. Wind rustled softly through the leaves, geese honked and I heard their wings cutting the air. A bird...