yo, i knew my homey, my stromey david sedaris was down with hip hop! that's got to be why he's dropping his next audiobook in a format they used to call vinyl. wax. phonograph records. i think it's a very cute hipster-funky idea, but i honestly...

I dare you to deny your love for some Katie Couric after seeing photos of her getting her freak on... surreal... but ooh, looks like Katie was the one that got the party started also yo, she's backing that thang up and erything! seriously is she,...

I've caught the Lady Gaga fever of late. Methinks the proof for her legitimacy is in the live acoustic pudding. When she's sitting at the piano doing her hipster-glam-quirky Amy Winehouse meets Alicia Keys (Alicia Winehouse?) thing we get a more...

Send your questions/letters to theassimilatednegro com. In this edition: The metaphysics of Perez Hilton's racism! Dear TAN, For whatever reason, I've found myself skimming his site for the past week or so. Check this out: "She joined by some dude...

while you're fixing your straps and awaiting my return. here are some old items to peruse at your leisure while smoking a cig, or not: Michael Vick's been in the news. I once challenged the dogs on his behalf. Eminem's back. I once did a spoof of...