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The Blowtorch

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier.
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Proposed Nicknames for All 60 Draftees

Jun 29, 2009
1. Blake “Gingerballs” Griffin 2. Hasheem “The Meme” Thabeet 3. James “Beardo” Harden 4. Tyreke “Jowls” Evans 5. Ricky “RubiBro” Rubio 6. “Jolly” Jonny Flynn 7. Stephen...

Two Lakers Fans Enjoy the Championship Celebration

Jun 19, 2009
The Lakers won the NBA championship. The Lakers threw a party about it. Two lucky fans were wily enough to sneak on stage for the festivities. The Blowtorch got their stories. Darren Adams: Raul and I have planned this sort of thing for quite s...

A Hipster Talks About the Lakers

Nov 30, 1999
Why am I a Lakers fan? I'll tell you. When I was a kid, my dad was, like, a HUGE Celtics fan. Like he made me...

The Orlando Magic Prematurely Celebrate the Guy from Wolf Parade's Wedding

Nov 30, 1999
Congratulations...

If My Dog Played Basketball

Nov 24, 2009
Everybody knows that my dog Yams really likes basketball. As you can see she clearly 'nose for the ball' and she is pretty aggressive when going for it. I think that means that she'd be a really good rebounder, and would probably get a modest contract...

Brandon Jennings' New Shoes

Nov 23, 2009
As you already know, I'm a very powerful advertising executive. Heeeeeyyy. You want some ads? And you already know that I'm down with shoes. Heeeeeyyy. You want some shoes? But you probably didn't know that I was working closely with Under Armour...

Spike Lee Explains Things: A Blowtorch Joint

Nov 20, 2009
Aight, Mike, let's break it down. I'm not legally affiliated with the team, but I go to every Knicks game. Every single Knicks game. 41 a year, Mike. Ahmad here does a show once a week about the NBA, so he doesn't have to be at a lot of games, but he...

Upon Kris Humphries Assuming Wolf Form

Nov 19, 2009
Kinda worried, guys. I was reading the Internet and I came across this poster of Kris Humphries starring in the documentary New Moon. Clearly this means that Kris Humphries is a werewolf. Clearly, werewolves are dangerous. They are known to eat...

The Annotated Brad Miller Drive

Nov 18, 2009
Last night I was watching some NBA basketball on television. I was enjoying the Chicago Bulls versus Sacramento Kings basketball game when Brad Miller decided to drive to the basket. This caused me to have some laughs. Unfortunately, I couldn't find...

Proposed Nicknames for All 60 Draftees



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