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The Onion

Where else are you going to read about how monkeys are going to take over the world? The Onion brings you the real TRUTH! Sort of.
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381 Users are Following

9.9
excellent
based on editor's review
3 user reviews 9.2


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In Focus: Man Succumbs to 7-Year Battle with Health Insurance [Satire]

Sep 2, 2009
DENVER—According to an independent study, health insurance is the nation's No. 2 killer, claiming the lives of some 400,000 Americans each year...

Little Butterball Holding Up Ice Cream Line [Satire]

Aug 10, 2009
HARRISBURG, PA—According to witnesses who are sweating their nuts off, the line at the Baskin-Robbins is currently 12 people deep, thanks to...

Cambridge Cop Accidentally Arrests Henry Louis Gates Again During White House Meeting [Satire]

Jul 31, 2009
WASHINGTON - Upon arriving late to his meeting with President Barack Obama and famed African-American intellectual Henry Louis Gates, Cambridge...

Area Couple Not Sure if Sex was Tantric [Satire]

Jul 29, 2009
SCARSDALE, NY—Following two hours of stilted, uncomfortable intercourse in which the couple started and stopped at various times, Jeff and...

Study: Abstinence-Only Lunch Programs Ineffective at Combating Teen Obesity [Satire]

Jul 27, 2009
WASHINGTON—"As children grow and their bodies develop, they're going to have certain metabolic urges that are impossible to suppress," said Dr. Beth Garcia...

In Focus: Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies

Nov 5, 2009
WASHINGTON—Authorities expect the shortage to subside by April, but until then, urge citizens to skip shy the rickshaw until the flypaper marigolds can waterfall.

Ask The Online Reviews Of A New Tex-Mex Restaurant

Nov 5, 2009
Dear The Online Reviews Of A New Tex-Mex Restaurant, For the past six weeks, my husband and I have been remodeling our master...

[video] Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

Nov 5, 2009
Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

1999 Collaboration Between Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas Somehow Standing Test Of Time

Nov 5, 2009
LOS ANGELES—Sources reported Monday that "Smooth," the 1999 collaborative effort of guitarist Carlos Santana and singer-songwriter Rob...

Sports: 40,000 Revenge-Seeking Bats Descend Upon Manu Ginobili

Nov 5, 2009
News In Photos


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Switch Blade
10.0
superb
  best thing ever!!! long time reader!
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Posted 7/9/08 1:07 AM


Taka S.
10.0
superb
  This site is awesome!! The satire and irony used in each post is brilliant!!
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Posted 7/16/09 5:07 PM


Gary Parent...
7.7
very good
  Hey Onion, You have some pretty funny stuff on your Blogs..After I had a peek I started to follow you..I also follow you on Twitter.. I am doing something for 1,000 Twitter Members,here it is.. I will put a Little BlueTwitter Bird with your twitter name in it on http://pyradom.com For Free , This is Free Ad space for your Business To our Success, Gary Parenti
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Posted 7/2/09 11:07 AM