Zurich 2-5 Real Madrid The scoreline makes for good reading. CR9 scoring twice also does, as the Champions League finally got kicked off. Don't forget, this is the Champions League that by rights Real Madrid will win this year because of a) the money...

Real Madrid 3-2 Deportivo 5 goals, three points, plenty of room for improvement... Madrid may not have wowed the world with their win over Deportivo, but for now its so far so good. Could the season have started any other way? CR9 and Kaká make their...

Everyone complains about your lack of consistency. Injuries are plaguing your career. Your club want to sell you, and the Turks Galatasary are chasing your signature. Your hair is falling out so fast there is nowhere for the hairline to recede further...

Your golden spell at the club feels like it was years ago. Your hair isn't so much thinning as positively leaving no more space whatsoever for it to recede to. Your club decide to take the number 10 off you. Aston Villa are after you. Your Ex rinsed...