“I Need to Improve my Responses to Hecklers,” by Teddy Wayne.

Boy, sure is a good thing we covered the duff heard ’round the shore. The “edgy” and “extreme” “music” “television network” has decided that reality got a little too real for TV, and has cut the infamous Snooki face-punch scene from this week’s episode...

Don’t mind me. I was just pulling quotes from the Tonya Harding (official!) Website to share with you, because Olympic-figure-skaters-turned-criminals-turned-kickboxers are totally hot right now. Why not leave you to explore? You’ll see momentarily....

We watched the fuck out of Jersey Shore last night, brah. Some stuff happened. Some real important stuff that I’d have a better handle on if it weren’t for all the beer and drug. Someone was in a hot tub, some babes made out in there, I think, maybe...

So Scooby Roo (I would like to punch whoever gave him that humiliating name) here is just getting started, but have you ever seen a dog with real wheel-leg skills? Its incredible. And humorous.