Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Oct 23, 2010, 1:59 pm
Thank you to those of you who have checked up on me. The fact is I'm not doing well right now. I've got some serious thinking to do and need to decide where I go from here. For now, I've archived all of my old blog posts because suddenly I'm just not comfortable having them out there. I hope that's ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Oct 3, 2010, 11:48 pm
First, an update. I managed to make it all week last week without seeing any of my neighbors. Every time I saw one of them post something on FB about their workouts, I felt sick but that's life. Friday night, I took the boys out for a walk. I drummed into them before we left that WE were going f...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Sep 28, 2010, 4:18 pm
I love working from home most of the time, but it can be isolating. I've never been a social butterfly anyway but today is a really lonely day. Ex did a pretty good job of alienating most of my friends and family and isolating me. It's a control thing...I know that now. But these days I don&...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Sep 26, 2010, 5:36 pm
Dipshit just brought the boys home (an hour early...with no notice to me!) When he dropped them off, he INFORMED me that he won't be taking his next visit because Her brother's getting married so they're going out of town. I told him too bad, I already have plans for that weekend and I&#...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Sep 24, 2010, 11:38 pm
Had dinner with Foster Sister and her (gay male) best friend tonight. We met at a Mexican restaurant and from the minute I stepped out of the car, the chatter never stopped. Even while we were hugging we were both talking. At one point we were talking about how old it makes us feel to say that we...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Sep 24, 2010, 12:13 am
So the good thing about PMS is that it doesn't last...or at least each individual mood swing doesn't last too long. I'm feeling much better since my pissy little vent the other day. I do appreciate all the advice. I had the kids on Medicaid at one point right after I lost my job but supp...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Sep 18, 2010, 2:41 pm
I'm PMSing big time right now, I've had a migraine for three days and Squirt's been home from school all week for fall break. I have reached my limit. I just can't take any more. I literally feel like my blood is boiling and I'm about to explode. I just blew up and SCREAMED at th...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Sep 3, 2010, 6:21 pm
I really need to vent for a minute and I don't feel like a freaking lecture from anyone in my real life so y'all are stuck with me. I LOVE this neighborhood. Most of the neighbors I've met have been pretty awesome. There is one who is slightly unstable to say the least. Unfortunately, b...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Aug 27, 2010, 8:31 am
It's been a rough couple of weeks around here. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the school routine and getting back on the ball with work and all of it. The loneliness is still eating at me and the voices in my head are screaming. I guess I've been at this long enough to know that th...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Aug 18, 2010, 4:52 pm
After all this time, you'd think I'd have figured out that no one else is coming home from work in the evening. No one else is going to cook dinner or bring take-out. There will be no grownup conversation while we eat. There will be no snuggling after the kids are in bed. There is no one. I ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Aug 11, 2010, 12:10 pm
Drummer's son missed the school bus yesterday morning so I took that as an opportunity to talk to him...sort of. I sent him a text and told him I heard that G missed the bus and if that ever happens and he's in a pinch, just to call me because I'd be happy to drop him at the elementary s...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Aug 10, 2010, 9:49 am
Haven't felt much like writing lately. Haven't felt like much of anything to be honest. Judging myself pretty harshly and feeling the judgment from all around. Just in the mood to hide under the covers but unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. Life goes on whether I want it to or not....
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Aug 1, 2010, 3:19 am
Just to clarify on my post from yesterday, I actually don't have a problem with the not going out except this nagging memory of a long-ago "situation" that I guess doesn't even qualify as a relationship. To be honest, after working from home all these years, I've become a bit of a reclus...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 31, 2010, 9:52 am
The Other Guy invited me over to his place last night after the boys left. We hung out on his deck drinking and talking for a while. Then we moved inside and "played" for a while. I spent the night. I didn't sleep too well...too much on my mind. Besides, he's used to getting up at 3 a.m. for...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 27, 2010, 12:56 pm
I think I'm giving up on dating for a while. I say that but you know I won't. I'm really just tired of first dates. I'm still talking to The Other Guy but he's been "really busy" lately and frankly, I haven't been in the mood. The boys and I go for a walk almost every evening...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 22, 2010, 12:59 pm
The boys haven't seen or talked to FG for months. I haven't either. I was a little surprised in the beginning that they didn't miss him more but I was relieved and thought I dodged a bullet. Pork Chop has asked about him more than Squirt but I can usually just put him off and he lets it ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 21, 2010, 4:24 am
I'm feeling particularly lonely and downhearted this evening for a lot of reasons, but I've been doing some thinking. I'm 34. The age range that I'm looking to date is mid/late 30's or VERY early 40's. I've come to the realization that there really is only one reason some...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 18, 2010, 10:35 pm
My choices are dwindling...too bad the one that's gone is the one I liked the best. I think Fireman is pretty much out. Who knows what the future holds but I'm not holding my breath either. The other guy had a friend who had a stroke Friday night. The guy is only 44 years old. Doesn't e...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 17, 2010, 12:45 am
I'm not really sure where things stand with Foster Sister. I e-mailed her some more pictures that I found at Mom's but she didn't respond at all. She has commented on my FB status a couple of times though and she asked me last night if we could get together. Unfortunately, the boys were ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 13, 2010, 11:15 pm
Foster sister and I msg'ed back and forth all day yesterday. I scanned the pictures I could find here at the house and sent them to her and answered as many questions as I could. In the morning, when she was still pretty much in shock, she was very eager to meet and suggested that she, mom, and ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 12, 2010, 4:50 am
I posted a long time ago about my long lost foster sister. I had found her on Facebook but still couldn't get up the nerve to contact her. Last weekend when I was with Fireman, somehow the subject of her came up. He kept telling me I should friend her and see what happens. He's really had ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 9, 2010, 11:10 pm
I'm kind of in shock right now. A girlfriend of mine (mutual friend of FG and me) called me last weekend and told me she knows a really cute single dad who wants to meet me. We all know how that usually turns out so I told her sure, whatever. She called me tonight to give me his number and told ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 5, 2010, 12:54 pm
Fireman arrived last night and greeted me with a hug. I could tell from the look on his face that something wasn't right. He smiled, but it wasn't natural...it was very forced and awkward. I knew he was exhausted and hoped that was all it was but I knew it wasn't. I thanked him for comin...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 4, 2010, 11:39 pm
AC's still broken. Two different repairmen came out on Friday and finally determined what the problem is...unfortunately, they have to order a part and this is a holiday weekend. At least it's been pretty cool this weekend. You know, low 90's. The rental management company said that when...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 2, 2010, 1:00 pm
It's been a pretty fun day. Squirt's been pushing my buttons but we'll survive. Mom called him first thing this morning to tell him Happy Birthday and they brought his present (a tee, bat, and ball to play in our new yard!) As they were leaving, Squirt told Mom that they're supposed ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jul 1, 2010, 11:19 pm
The last few weeks before school was out, I did way more than my fair share at work. My boss was in London and my coworker had quit so I pretty much carried it all. It was probably a good thing because I needed the money but I got really burnt out. Since school got out, I've totally slacked off....
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 29, 2010, 10:30 pm
Mom came over today to sit with the boys while I (supposedly) finished up at the apartment. As soon as they woke up this morning, they wanted to go play outside. I'm so happy because Squirt's kind of getting fat so I'm hoping he'll get more exercise here. I went to the garage to get...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 27, 2010, 11:34 pm
At the last minute, everyone who was supposed to help me move flaked out except for Cop Cousin and his wife. They showed up an hour and a half late. I was freaking out. If we'd had three trucks and three trailers and three guys and three women like I'd planned, we could have moved everything...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 26, 2010, 1:17 am
Exactly six years ago, I was 7.5 months pregnant with Squirt and Ex and I had just closed on our first house together. I was packing (and procrastinating about packing) our apartment and fantasizing about our life with our baby in the little house with the white picket fence. My former boss (among o...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 23, 2010, 8:56 pm
I've got a headache tonight and I really feel like I just need to brain dump. I heard from a friend this week who's involved in a pretty nasty custody battle with his ex-wife. I'm friends with both of them but I'm trying very hard not to be in the middle of it because frankly, it...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 20, 2010, 6:44 pm
I'm trying really hard not to think about Fireman today but damn it's hard! He texted me again yesterday afternoon just to tell me again how awesome Friday night was (as if I needed him to remind me!) and that he wanted to see me again but his kids had come home Saturday morning and then he ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 19, 2010, 5:05 pm
I need to be working and packing this afternoon but I'm still floating ten feet off the ground. Honestly, I don't remember ever feeling like this before...it's kind of scary. I'm Mommy. I've got two children to take care of. I've got no business acting like a 12 year old girl...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 19, 2010, 4:28 am
Had my first "real" date from POF tonight. The fireman. I hope you'll be hearing a LOT more about him! On his profile where it asks you to describe your ideal first date, he put that we could split a Krystal and a water. He texted me this afternoon and asked if I still wanted to split a Krystal...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 17, 2010, 9:11 pm
Most of the time these days, I'm doing pretty well but every now and then, "my situation" really hits me and it sucks. Tonight is one of those nights. I'm lonely. I want someone to snuggle up with and just be together. I don't want a first date and all that goes along with that. I don...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 17, 2010, 5:30 am
In case there are any guys reading this blog, "Wow, I feel like I already know you...you're so much like my ex-wife" is really not the best pickup line. Seriously...you can't make this stuff up! A guy from POF just IM'd me and told me that on the first contact! I didn't want to just...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 15, 2010, 12:52 am
OK, this online dating thing is just weird. It's so artificial! When I first signed up, I had 22 year olds out the wazoo messaging me so I finally set filters so that you have to be between 30 and 45 to contact me. There's one guy 3 hours away who I chatted with on IM one night and after 10...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Jun 10, 2010, 11:00 pm
Back in February, I had stumbled on a dream apartment. It was a brand new complex, luxury apartments right next to a country club, walking distance from a really ritzy new elementary school, and because the apartments were new, they had a great deal going to try to get some leased quickly. The guy r...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 25, 2010, 12:49 am
Squirt woke up this morning trying to convince me that he wasn't sick anymore and should be allowed to go to school. It's the last week so they're partying pretty much every day and he's had perfect attendance (unless you count all the tardies because I overslept!) until now. He stil...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 24, 2010, 3:44 am
Squirt was complaining on Friday that his throat hurt but my allergies have been kicking my butt all week so I figured that's all it was with him and I sent him with his dad anyway. Ex brought the boys home Sunday night and Squirt who usually jumps out of the car and runs to me got out like an 8...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 23, 2010, 1:02 pm
What a strange weekend!! I went down to cop cousin's house last night to hang out with them just to get out of the house and have some grownup company. It all started out pretty normal...there wasn't even *that* much alcohol consumed as far as I know (only two rounds that I'm aware of). ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 18, 2010, 8:56 pm
You know how when you leave the dentist and your face is numb, it doesn't exactly hurt, but the total lack of feeling is somehow wrong? It's uncomfortable just because you know there SHOULD be SOMETHING there and there's not. It's better than being in pain, but only slightly because ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 14, 2010, 7:00 pm
We've been having issues around our house lately with the truth. For the most part, I think it's pretty normal. The boys are just 3 and 5 after all. They get into something they're not supposed to and they both point at each other and say "He did it!" My gut reaction is usually to blame ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 9, 2010, 5:31 am
I signed up for the online dating thing during a manic spell because I wanted to see what was out there and what it was like. I told you I haven't really been impressed so far. The widower dad's first message to me was "Let's go out for coffee." I messaged him back that I wouldn't mi...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - May 4, 2010, 11:48 pm
Things have been pretty crazy lately. Since my coworker left, I've been pretty much working day and night to stay on top of things alone. They hired a replacement for her but I'm not sure what his deal is. He seems like a nice enough guy but he's just not getting up to speed as quickly a...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Apr 30, 2010, 4:30 am
Not sure what got into me tonight (if you've been reading a while, you can probably guess!) but I signed up for plentyoffish.com. It's kind of creepy actually. One guy already sent me his phone number and two more want to meet. I'm a little weirded out by the whole thing. I guess I shoul...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Apr 29, 2010, 8:22 pm
Me: Listen, guys...we need to talk and I need you to be big boys for a minute and be serious. Pork Chop: Awww... Squirt: Come on...we can do this...it's just for a minute. Let's see what she's got to say...it might be good. Me: Do you like it when I yell and raise my voice? Does that ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Apr 25, 2010, 3:12 pm
I'm not really in the mood to blog right now but I'm sure not in the mood to work so I figured I'd show off a little. I tend to craft when I'm depressed. Actually I haven't been totally depressed lately but I have been on a craft binge. While I'm not really good at pricin...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Apr 13, 2010, 9:02 am
No great surprise, I finally crashed last week. I screwed up on the bills and came up short on the rent. Again. It's a miracle I've gotten by as long as I have considering it was fall of 08 when I lost my job and all this time the math has never added up but I've always squeezed by someh...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Apr 1, 2010, 11:08 pm
Years ago, a friend sent me a card that said something along the lines of "I can lament that the rosebush has thorns, or rejoice that the thornbush has a rose." I wonder what he's up to these days... Anyway, my little manic episode is over, but thankfully, I haven't completely crashed yet. ...
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Barbara T. posted an article on Picking Up the Pieces - Mar 28, 2010, 10:04 pm
Since I didn't work all weekend, I REALLY need to work tonight but I'm having a hard time coming off the weekend. I've already talked to cop cousin (and his wife), FL cousin (and his son), Sailor (and his mom and his dad), FG, FG's brother, and pretty much every other real live perso...
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