Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Feb 2, 2012, 11:56 am
.For those of you who don’t know, for the past few months I’ve been in Mexico, working hard on my latest travel novel.
If I had to describe it, I would say that it’s a coming-of-age erotica meets sci-fi thriller, a gripping page-turner of thought-provoking non-fiction that entertains as it in... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jan 26, 2012, 11:36 am
..“Dick”
TRACK LISTING
“Hi, I’m Dick”
“…Or Asshole”
“…Or Jerk-Off”
“…Sometimes Wanker”
“…Or Furry McEyebrowson”
“…Or Worf”
“…Or Severely Anti-Social”
“…Or What Happens When Two Cousins Fornicate”
“…Or The Only Guy To Appear In Three C... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jan 16, 2012, 4:10 pm
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I wonder about a lot of things.
I wonder why people feel the need to write cryptic status updates on Twitter and Facebook, then say “It’s personal” when you ask them about it. I also wonder why Tori Spelling is relevant. One time I was so busy wondering that I forgot to go to work for a... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jan 6, 2012, 12:30 pm
.Apparently my jokes don’t translate.
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Convo between myself and my heavily-accented German landlady, while out for breakfast at a cafe in Mexico:
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Sign posted outside cafe
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German Landlady: So, do you know what you will have for breakfast?
Me: I’m not really that hungry. I think I’ll... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jan 3, 2012, 4:05 pm
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Whenever I feel like I might be crazy, I find it helps to think about people who are more delusional than I am.
Sometimes I’ll think about Courtney Love, or people who think that Two and a Half Men is “The funniest show ever!”
But mostly, I think about a guy I used to date.
I met Jona... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Dec 27, 2011, 12:55 pm
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So, while going through my old computer files recently, I came across a folder of Facebook comments I’d made during my three-month long insomnia phase.
Most of them I never actually posted, mostly because at the time I was afraid of getting kicked in the cyber-head for being so lame.
Now, aft... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Dec 12, 2011, 2:08 pm
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I try to be the most compassionate person I can be.
Instead of donating money to worthwhile charities, I will go out of my way to update my Facebook status to reflect what color bra I’m wearing (usually just a modest pair of Hello Kitty nipple tassels).
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Innocent, yet whorish.
Also, while ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Nov 2, 2011, 1:54 pm
Once, when I was a child, my Aunt Agnes showed up at our house for a surprise visit. The fact that nobody in our family knew an Aunt named Agnes even existed was what made it such a surprise.
She came bearing gifts; a few choice words for my mother, a tongue kiss for my father, and for me, a large ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Oct 26, 2011, 11:40 am
Raising a child is one of the most gratifying jobs that thankfully I will never have. It is also one of the most difficult, especially when it comes to talking about mature-themed topics.
While many websites offer advice on communicating effectively with your child, often times these tips can leave... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Oct 20, 2011, 3:43 pm
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Scenic Background Images + The Mind-Boggling Stuff That Ejaculates From My Subconscious While Viewing Said Images = MAGIC
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*Warning- May Cause Over-Inspiration
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Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Oct 11, 2011, 8:09 pm
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A few weeks ago, I received an email from a woman in the Solomon Islands, asking me to be the beneficiary of her Estate. Normally I wouldn’t bother responding (you know that saying, “Fool me twice, something something”), but after reading her plea and seeing the attached photo, I knew in my... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Oct 6, 2011, 2:52 pm
…
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I try to be the most compassionate and selfless person I can be.
While dining with others, I never take the last slice of pizza. (Unless the people I’m with are overweight, in which case I’m actually doing them a favor.)
Also, whenever I go on a double date, I make sure to give both gu... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Sep 29, 2011, 4:31 pm
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I started having feelings when I was in grade school.
At first I was just experimenting; Cranky, impatient, sniffly–The other kids were having them, too, I guess I just didn’t want to be left out.
But as I got older, I started dabbling in stronger feelings. Moody, negative, hostile: Even... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Sep 21, 2011, 12:18 pm
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I am great with children. Ask any of my friends who are parents and they will tell you that kids love me.
I believe there are two reasons for this: One, kids are very intuitive and they can sense that I have no desire to kidnap them.
Two, I always keep bacon in my pocket. This is how I get ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Sep 16, 2011, 9:45 am
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Obviously not like this.
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Is your Boss one of those hard-nosed narcissists who thinks that just because you’re sitting in on an important business meeting (which you shouldn’t really be in anyway because your job is pretty much irrelevant but he asked you to take notes) that means you shou... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Sep 4, 2011, 8:53 pm
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FYI- All of the products* advertised on this blog are personally endorsed by me.
*Except this one.
(And possibly future ones.)
….
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Filed under: Humor Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Aug 29, 2011, 12:20 pm
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So, you know how when you move out of your apartment and you’re between places so your friend offers to let you stay with her for a few days but then one afternoon she goes out so you decide to go snooping through her deep freeze because you already went through her medicine cabinets and, well,... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Aug 22, 2011, 2:27 pm
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Artist Statement
I am an Artoholic.
Sculpture is my addiction, and shadow puppets are my drug of choice.
Whether it’s a profound spectacle of eagles copulating mid-flight, or an inspirational vision of domesticated farm animals copulating, one thing is for certain: My creations will always ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Aug 15, 2011, 6:31 pm
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Al Hirt Ann-Margret
Track Listing
“Ah Mean It”
“Al Hirt Ann-Margret Real Bad”
“First Al Punch Hir”
“Then Al Bust Hir Knee Caps”
“And Kick Hir In The Vagina”
”Nothin’ Personal, Ah Just Got A Bad Temper”
“Not Like My Brother, Don”
“Don Hirt Nobody”
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.... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Aug 11, 2011, 1:39 pm
.I have a gift for languages..
I have a gift for languages. I don’t even remember learning English, that’s how easy it was for me.
It was like one minute I was lying in my crib crying for my mother to breastfeed me, and the next I was correcting her use of misplaced modifiers.
Because of my ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Aug 3, 2011, 8:25 am
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A compendium of correspondence from those whom I have loved and lost. (But mostly just lost.)
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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And Finally….A Fairytale Ending
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When Zenob... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jul 26, 2011, 4:05 pm
…
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Everyone knows that your dog is a reflection of you. Which is why it’s so important that she always be lean and svelte.
Let’s face it; when people see a lost, overweight canine waddling down the street, it’s only natural for them to assume that the canine’s owner also waddles.
So ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jul 11, 2011, 4:12 pm
…
Back when I was majoring in Marketing, I took a class called “The Principles of Viral Advertising”.
Apparently my professor and I had different ideas about what viral advertising actually means, because I ended up getting an F on my final project (as seen below).
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Principles of Viral... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jul 6, 2011, 4:27 pm
.**
I have an affinity for younger men. The younger the better. I like the ones who, while technically legal, could pass for a Senior at Degrassi High.
This would explain why I haven’t settled down. It also explains why I’m banned from going within two miles of any of Ralph Macchio’s movie s... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jun 29, 2011, 2:55 pm
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Anti-Social Experiment #234: How will people react when they see a sandwich surfing the web?
Hypothesis: They won’t.
Conclusion: They didn’t.
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*****
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_____________________________________________________________
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jun 22, 2011, 6:52 pm
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If I had to pick one word to describe me, it would be Humanitarian.
In high school people were inspired by my compassion. My friends dreamed of marrying Johnny Depp; I dreamed of shocking him back to life with a defibrillator.
It was only recently however, while on a flight to San Francisco, ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jun 17, 2011, 2:06 pm
.
While cleaning out my inbox recently, I came across the following collection of email exchanges between myself and a former co-worker.
*Because my co-worker is a now highly-respected department manager, I’ve changed his name to protect his privacy.
**FYI-Normally I am not this crass/trashy-so... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jun 14, 2011, 3:21 pm
..
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Then again, maybe not. (But for sure it’s in the top ten.)
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Filed under: Humor Tagged: and I wonder why I never get anything done, awkward ads, funny, game boy, Humor, I could be the only person who gets this, kenny rogers, satire, technically not a post, The Gambler Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Jun 9, 2011, 3:15 pm
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Shabba Ryan
I am a beach person. No matter what, I always look great when I’m at the beach. The color of the ocean really brings out my slutty bikinis. Also, because I used to be a synchronized swimmer, my underwater backflips are second to none.
Last year, my friends and I went to Cancun... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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May 30, 2011, 3:08 pm
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If this desperate plea–which I came across while trolling Dr. Phil’s Facebook page recently, doesn’t tug at your heart strings–well then you obviously don’t have any.
I knew I had to do something to help Eva. But what?
Thankfully, after careful contemplation coupled with a six pa... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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May 26, 2011, 10:12 pm
Q: What do you get when you cross vintage magazine advertisements with random search terms that people have used to find my blog?
A: This post! LOL!
*crickets chirping*
But seriously, though. You do.
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Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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May 24, 2011, 2:10 pm
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Recently, I went to Walmart.
Whenever I shop at Walmart, I always make sure to stand at the check-out with the longest line-up. That way I can listen to people’s conversations while catching up on my favorite magazines. Other than my lifetime subscriptions to Reader’s Digest and Enor... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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May 10, 2011, 8:58 pm
*Sea= Bus
**I have to take a short hiatus, so I thought I’d leave you with a never before told inspirational story that will tug at your heart strings/make you see what an unselfish person I am.
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Whenever I’m having a bad day, I find it helps to think about people who are worse off than I a... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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May 6, 2011, 5:52 am
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Come to think of it, this is probably why I failed Marketing.
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Filed under: Humor, Stupid, WTF Tagged: funny, Humor, satire, vintage ads Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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May 4, 2011, 1:49 pm
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Thanks to my Dad, I was raised in a family where pecking order was based not on age, but how well you could impersonate Rodney Dangerfield’s stand-up routine.
I always felt superior to other kids my age, given that my rhetoric sounded less like an naive seven year-old and more like a self-dep... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Apr 29, 2011, 3:19 pm
I will never be famous. I’m okay with that.
In order to be famous, you have to not care about what other people think of you. I suffer from a rare disease where I need everyone to think I’m awesome. It’s genetic.
Also, when you’re famous you have to give up your privacy. You can no longe... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Apr 25, 2011, 5:59 pm
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So, after spending the last few months being pretty much ostracized by the Facebook “Riddle Riddle” group (see here and here ), you can imagine my surprise when I logged in and found this message posted on my wall:
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Recognizing that the members of this group were depending on my riddle e... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Apr 20, 2011, 2:08 pm
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D. Baker, Multi-Instrumentalist
When I was younger, I was very promiscuous.
I remember as a toddler, my mother would dress me up in frilly outfits and take me to the park, only to watch in horror as I’d rip off my clothes and run through the sprinklers in my underwear.
I had a thing for ol... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Apr 13, 2011, 4:05 pm
*FYI- This isn’t really a post as much as it is a side-effect of insomnia/thinly-veiled cry for help.
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Pre 2000 BC
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1676 (First recorded)
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1817 (T. gigas specimen)
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Born 1956
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1966
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1981
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1981... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Apr 10, 2011, 7:34 pm
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The Crack of Crazy (A True Story)
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As children, there was a rhyme the neighborhood kids would chant while skipping down the street–“Step on a crack, break your Mother’s back.”
The first time I heard this saying I was horrified. The idea that I could turn the same woman who let me sta... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Apr 4, 2011, 8:07 pm
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Artist Statement
I am an artist. My only goal in life is to sculpt, to create brilliant masterpieces that express the visible and the invisible. The real and the unreal. The beauty and the beast.
My process for making art knows no boundaries. But it knows limits. When a stranger walks up to me ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Mar 28, 2011, 7:43 pm
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Grimace and kid
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I am a very considerate person.
When I break up with a guy, I don’t say that it’s because my friend pointed out his abnormally big thighs and now every time I look at him all I see is Grimace. Instead, I tell him the truth. That there’s always a chance he’ll be... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
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Mar 20, 2011, 8:26 pm
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So, last week I finally went out and bought a new watch.
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It's Hello Kitty!
It’s not that there was anything wrong with my old one, I was just sick of all the hurtful comments. Whenever I went out with my friends they would tease me about it. They’d say things like “What’s with ... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
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Mar 15, 2011, 3:31 pm
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My grandma’s second husband, a man I called Bob (because technically he wasn’t my grandpa and that’s what everyone else called him), had a belly the size of a medicine ball.
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While his frame was average, his stomach stuck-out so far that it would show up at the dinner table long be... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Mar 2, 2011, 8:45 pm
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Artist Statement
I have been sculpting for as long as I can remember. Unlike the more conventional unconventional sculptors, however, I reject the the definition “Abstract Artist,” preferring instead the title “Abstract Lioness Whose Feral Womb Breeds Art”.
My sculptures begin as meta... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Feb 25, 2011, 3:05 pm
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Today when I logged in to Facebook, I noticed that I had received an event invitation.
Now normally I make it a point never to acknowledge that section of my homepage. Not because I’m antisocial or anything (not to brag, but in high school my nickname was “Backseat Becky”), but because t... Comment - Like
Becky C. posted an article on
Just Making convo
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Feb 22, 2011, 8:35 pm
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After two previous sting operations (see here and here), I think these Jonaikas* are finally starting to see the light. Still, to drive the point home, I felt it was time to bring in the big guns.
*you’ll have to ask them what this means
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... Comment - Like
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