Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 25, 2009, 11:36 am
Since my entire family is hacking and spewing viscous substances, we've bowed out of driving into the crazy happy beehive that is Utah and are going to stay home to baste our turkey. Yes, Ut... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 23, 2009, 11:36 am
Since Wednesday my throat has been coated in Bic disposable razors and Tabasco sauce.
Could that statement be an effective pick up line in a bar? One of you try it out and get back to me.
... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 20, 2009, 11:48 am
The morning Oprah wore her anchor suit and reported news of one kind
and another
the public called her "THE OPRAH!"
and Oprah said "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 17, 2009, 11:35 am
I've finally decided what I want to be when I grow up.
At 35 years old it is time to grow up. Soon I'll have every kid I've ever given birth to within instituti... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 16, 2009, 11:34 am
Today I volunteered to help at my child's preschool.
Apparently I'm to assist in the mixing of homemade play dough.
I know. I'm laughing about this too. ... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 13, 2009, 11:51 am
I've sifted through a lot of video this morning to bring you one that is appropriate considering the hour of the day. You should thank me. There was nudity, and vomit, and pus and some... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 9, 2009, 11:37 am
Alright, say this real quiet, all hushy like:
Marital aids.
Stop giggling.
Wait. I don't have to explain what a marital aid is, do I? I sure hope not. Wouldn... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 6, 2009, 11:27 am
Today is my 35th birthday.
Today is the day that I stop allowing myself to think I have a future in super-modeling.
Which kind of sucks in a way. I've always wanted to stomp down a runw... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 4, 2009, 11:04 am
It was a glorious day yesterday.
I'm regular these days, so I wasn't referring to that. If you aren't regular and you too had a glorious day yesterday, I'm thrilled for you.... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Nov 3, 2009, 9:40 am
Our once anonymous commenter, Robyn, outed herself and has won prize for her part in convincing my husband to dress like this:
However, my husband didn't win. He didn't even place. ... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 30, 2009, 10:57 am
I need your help.
There is 250 bucks on the line!
If I can convince my unshaven husband to dress in my blue velvet befeathered Mae West costume tomorrow evening, complete with blond wig, muc... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 29, 2009, 11:03 am
Like every mother out there...or any mother with good intentions anyway...I try to create sweet family moments that my children can look back on when they finally grow into self sustaining adults.
... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 27, 2009, 11:23 am
I broke things off with someone yesterday.
What I feel today is an overwhelming sense of relief. What I felt yesterday was an irrational apprehension and a hairy sense of guilt. This relationsh... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 26, 2009, 11:18 am
Woke up early to a hurling child this morning.
Anyone who is a parent type knows that hurling commences from 3 to 6 in the morning and that a portion of this hurl must either land on the floor or... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 23, 2009, 11:08 am
Attention anonymous halloween type web searchers!
A request to procure a "housewife costume" does not include a pair of my unwashed underwear in any of the styles below:
Thongs
Briefs
Wh... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 20, 2009, 11:18 am
My dumb gay cat meowed all night long.
I'm amazed that I'm so chipper this morning considering my cat had an announcement to make every hour on the hour. It only goes to show that my pro... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 19, 2009, 11:51 am
I can't say I'm a huge fan of reality TV. If the choice came down to watching Survivor or attempting to put my entire fist up my nose the choice would be the fist, hands down. Or hand up. What... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 16, 2009, 11:23 am
Because I have ethics and standards.
Or I try to have ethics and standards.
Shuddup about the boob ad to the side.
Anyhow, this time of year I'm always asked to come up with witty a... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 14, 2009, 10:35 am
Should I lay another hormone drenched post on you?
Why not? It's not greasy enough in here.
The progesterone cream that was recommeded to me has not come in the mail yet. Knowing that t... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 9, 2009, 11:19 am
That worn place on the carpet is where I've been dragging my ass.
I hate this...I really hate this. The physical symptoms of hormonal upheaval that I've complained of before are nothing ... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 6, 2009, 9:49 am
So...
...yeah...
My hormones are off again.
Have you noticed?
I SAID, HAVE YOU NOTICED???
Dammit. That's not directed at you. Of course not. It couldn't be because my reactions to thin... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Oct 5, 2009, 10:49 am
My almost sixteen year old son has drank all of our milk.
He drinks all the milk almost daily. He snarfs down food, grunts, pours huge tumblers of milk and ingests it in one giant gulp.
Next week I ... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 30, 2009, 10:04 am
I'm real sleepy.
That is, my long day yesterday kept running through my brain all night long. Not even putting my well used copy of "Pride and Prejudice" in the DVD player at 2 a.m. curbed all t... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 29, 2009, 10:26 am
Today is going to be a long day. I plan to tell you about it later, when I'm allowed out of this monkey house at this zoo.
The one monkey hogging the rope swing that keeps puking and throwing t... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 25, 2009, 10:38 am
I love Facebook.
There, I said it, I love that gorgeous time suck. It makes it real easy to see how all my old high school classmates are aging. They are amusing people. They post YouTubes like this:... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 24, 2009, 10:19 am
Driving to school this morning my ten year old son was insistent that his appearance on the planet is the fault of a stork.
To which I replied that I knew for a fact that there were no storks involve... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 23, 2009, 10:47 am
All the world is coated in hand sanitizer.
Because of pigs. Dirty pigs. Flu mongers.
The public service announcements are full in force. Don't spread germs. Wash your hands. Don't share... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 22, 2009, 10:25 am
I used to have impractical white linoleum. Which never stayed white. It stayed a greasy shade of three boy child gray. In a fit of rage and a with a twinge of nausea, I took a utility knife and a crow... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 17, 2009, 11:08 am
The cat hurled in the night, which isn't rare or unusual. However, all three kids had to fuss about the hurl this morning even after the hurl was cleaned. Eventually they brushed their teeth.
I... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 15, 2009, 9:58 am
You wanna know whats awesome?
When you and your spouse have shoved all the kids into their beds for the night...
Clothing is completely removed, even the socks...
A game of "warm warm cold warm war... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 14, 2009, 10:40 am
Every night, before I go to bed, I spread white goo all over my teeth.
It was my dentist's idea. Then I wrote him a check. When your dentist makes a recommendation on anything, from gum to interi... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 8, 2009, 10:35 am
In a half hour I'm going to be exposing my children to insidious indoctrination.
That is, I sent them to school and I'm allowing them to listen to our legally elected president speak about be... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 4, 2009, 11:57 am
Welcome to day one of our four day weekend!
Oh, you didn't get today off? Unless you live in Elko County, you wouldn't be aware that it's officially Elko's "You shore do gots a perty... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Sep 1, 2009, 11:10 am
My dumb gay cat thinks I hate him.
I don't, but no one would blame me if I did. He's a scabby disgusting mess. If my cat took human form people would assume his meth addiction was so severe... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Aug 31, 2009, 10:43 am
Or Brown, depending on the legal function.
Dear Sylvia,
I've been a housewife for a long time. Eons. Which means that I had opportunity to watch Montel Williams on TV near daily up until his s... Comment - Like
Becky Lee E. posted an article on
The Absent Minded Housewife
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Aug 28, 2009, 10:54 am
Am I awake yet?
I've not slept really well for the past two weeks. Having to deal with stupidity in one's life will do that. In a year or less I'll detail what this stupidity is because... Comment - Like
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