Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Feb 1, 2012, 12:20 am
From what I've read, those folks who live in the Primary states are getting awful tired of the barrage of negative campaign ads coming at them from every angle.  Computer, television, phone and print ads...more often than not a male voice is telling you why you are a giant turd for even considering...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jan 30, 2012, 11:30 pm
No, I'm not dead.  Or, I'm not physically dead.  My brain has been in a bumbling deathlike stupor.  That once useful organ has knitted it's own shroud out of dryer lint and cat hair.  No...knit is too strong a word...any part of my brain that could once claim to be creative has turned it's ba...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Dec 14, 2011, 11:32 pm
You think if I removed any constraining underwear and poked my tongue between my teeth I could get across the idea that it was foggy in my town today? Honestly I've started writing about the fog that shows up here every winter around ten times. Shows up in my head too. Like wads of...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Dec 5, 2011, 9:55 pm

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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 30, 2011, 9:14 pm
This month I've been particularly frisky.  I could go ahead and blame my ever fluctuating hormones for this so I could save myself some sort of embarrassment, but that's not the cause of my perkiness. Today is the last day of Movember and the month of men growing facial hair ends tomorrow.  ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 26, 2011, 12:02 am
I'm a bit miffed that someone upstairs at Google Inc. and all it's subsidiaries will no longer allow me to write posts on my phone anymore.  Not that I did much before.  It's the principle of the thing.  My phone is not any way associated with Apple or Android and as such I cannot update y...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 21, 2011, 9:52 pm
I don't know what's wrong with you people willing to go out the moment it is no longer Thanksgiving day to stampede through large retail establishments to buy products manufactured in China. After eating that much food I have no plans to do any such thing.  There was that one year my little s...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 17, 2011, 9:16 pm
After some consideration I decided to skip Nanowrimo again this year and good thing too...I can barely get this sentence out of my brain and into the text box. Never mind that I've never participated in Nanowrimo before and I don't expect that I could write the great American novel in 30 days ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 14, 2011, 10:04 pm
My husband and I took off to the busy beehive that is Utah County over Veterans Day weekend to do what every patriotic American was expected to do when we first got into our economic mess...shop.  We were hoping to make a dent in Christmas.  Instead we made a dent in our patience. We barely ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 8, 2011, 11:16 pm
So...Michelle Duggar...who is my hero...is knocked up again. I'm not knocked up again.  Michelle's glorious capacity for fertility is not why she's my hero.  If Michelle Duggar wants to take my uterus and use it much like she uses a series of washing machines for all her laundry, she's welco...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 6, 2011, 9:07 pm
I've turned 37 years old today. My family drove over to see me.  My mom baked me an oatmeal cake.  I cut and served it before any mention of candles was made.  I've learned a thing or two in my old age. I got the nicest note in a card from my mother in law.  Couldn't ask for a better...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 4, 2011, 8:46 pm
I feel pretty good. I mean, I felt pretty lousy this morning, that is until I showered and a large garden slug oozed out of my right nostril. If you could compare this relief on some sort of scale, I'd put my sense of relief just below the feeling of relief you have when you've pushed y...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Nov 2, 2011, 10:59 pm
My face feels like a week old lump of play dough in a preschool classroom.  Pummelled, half dry and full of hairs and boogers. What I thought was a sinus infection is probably an abscess in my back molar.  Yeah, it hurts and I get to call the dentist tomorrow morning.  Let him have his t...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 31, 2011, 10:18 pm
Several folks about my real life and the internets have asked me what I'm dressing as this Halloween.  It's a fair question considering I sew a lot of halloween costumes all year long.  I'm my best advertisement, right? Well, I'm foolish. I have a toothache. ...and something goin...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 25, 2011, 10:16 pm
I'm enjoying the irony of watching the Duggars on TV while I describe how raunchy watching a male strip show in a casino located on the Nevada border is. The whole ordeal...I've never seen anything like it in my life which is saying quite a lot as I'm as fresh as a newborn calf in the spring s...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 21, 2011, 10:21 pm
My husband is a tolerant open minded man.  We have the kind of marriage where we can point out exceptional examples of the opposite sex to one another without jealousy.  We're human.  We like to look and then tease each other for being old and lecherous.  I keep a drool towel in my grandm...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 20, 2011, 11:45 pm
I've been sewing today.  Mostly pattern drafting but at one point I did mend one side of a well used and slightly wet burlap bag of catnip. Since I still have to draw in the bumpy pokey jodhpur bits on the pants of an Oompa Loompa you get my annual edition...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 18, 2011, 9:19 pm
Today's weather was absolutely beautiful...so why am I ending my daylight hours by watching the GOP presidential debate? The rhetoric is making every muscle in my whole body sore.  What's funny about this whole thing is that the passing of the buck, blame and flame is not unlike any other re...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 11, 2011, 10:20 pm
I love Basia Bulat.  Have a listen.  You could have a look but it's just a static image.  Just close your eyes, take off 90% of your clothing and let her voice move over you. Now, take a shower.
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 10, 2011, 11:45 pm
Ahhh, it's about time to decorate my porch and yard for Halloween.  It's the happiest time of the year! Except that I'm not decorating my porch or yard because I know, KNOW, deep down in my ghoulish little heart that all my awesome decorations will come up missing. Check out Fred the He...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 6, 2011, 10:09 pm
I'm raising a homicidal maniac. Sure, he's only six, but you can tell these types of things real early.  He's all violent. This isn't the first time I've had an impromptu afterschool meeting with any of my sons schoolteachers.  Concerns have to be addressed sometimes.  Worked on in ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Oct 3, 2011, 10:08 pm
Shuddup. I'm cranky. Let's get through this post without using an expletive describing a close and physical act between two people who love each other very very much.  I'm trying to have some dignity here or at least a PG rating for when my 7th grader discovers my blog on the school's ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 27, 2011, 12:09 am
It's insane to buy a mattress sight unseen. ...and I'm insane. But I'm also sure that the big dips on either side of our old pillow top mattress are doing my back and joints no favors.  It's molded the shape of my hip and butt right proper.  Size dainty.  Not to mention that our bed f...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 22, 2011, 9:31 pm
My cat is still missing.  We've done some searching and some calling and some desperate shaking of bags of cat treats and he's nowhere to be found. I'm hoping he took a detour from his daily outside hour about the backyard, maybe to the strip club just a short walk away.  Yes, I live near a ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 21, 2011, 8:29 pm
My dumb gay cat, Booger, has come up missing today. I'm a wreck.
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 17, 2011, 1:00 am
Tonight I'm at my sister's house.  My sister is not home.  My sister's husband IS home.  He keeps talking about embarrassing and noisy bodily functions and offering to let me touch his pants.  He's retarded, but my sister seems to like him, except on Bunco night. I shouldn't say such thin...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 15, 2011, 11:20 pm
I ate veal last night but that's not what has me feeling pukey today.  I've felt a little bit pukey for the last three-four weeks.  That on top of sore boobs, some soupy downstairs symptoms and an abnormally light week early period, I thought that buying a pregnancy test would be an int...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 13, 2011, 1:16 am
Some years back, when there was some natural disaster or another, where people were suffering and it was being well covered by the media, I was asked why I never wrote about such things.  Didn't I care that people were suffering?  Or...in the subtext as I remember it...is your life so char...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 8, 2011, 7:30 pm
Like others, I also completely blew off last night's Republican presidential debate.  Not on purpose.  We meant to watch and for no other reason than to raise our blood pressures, but we forgot and since it wasn't on network TV, our remote didn't make it towards the higher numbered news channels. ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 6, 2011, 10:18 pm
B.I.T.C.H. Babe in total control of herself/her life, right? Beautiful.  Intelligent.  Talented.  Cute.  Honest. Shrug...I guess.  This acronym has floated around for some time now. I suppose it's in an effort to turn a patriarchal insult into a positive empowered sta...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 5, 2011, 3:02 pm
Last night my husband and I went out to enjoy Adult Time Without Children™.   We ate food that required cutlery and did not require any dipping in ketchup to make it palateable.  We were in an environment where the presences of other people's widdle pweshushes is discouraged if not outright a...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Sep 2, 2011, 12:05 pm
The dream I had last night started out well enough.  Excellent in fact.  Steamy.  My husband and I were not bored at all at the beginning of this dream.  However, right before the dream would have culminated in any sort of satisfaction it morphed into something else. I'd gone fromÂ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 30, 2011, 3:14 pm
As of yesterday I've had my children in a state run educational institution from 8 am to 4 pm every day for a week and I have been home, alone, with my thoughts and with the blissful quiet. Ahhh!  God yes!  My space is mine!  I do not miss the whiny protestations and tattling of the last t...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 24, 2011, 9:29 pm
When we were visiting The Happiest Place on Earth, I was fascinated to find a very large cockroach going for an evening stroll in our hotel parking lot.  So fascinated that I caught this cockroach so I could look at it closely.  Bugs do not freak me out and where I live, cockroaches aren't a fact ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 22, 2011, 11:39 pm
I had all kinds of plans for today.  Fantasies.  Warm fuzzy thoughts about sending all my shiny clean children to school all day long and having hours to myself.  The first day of school.  It's finally here! To start off the morning, creamy gourmet coffee in an earthenware mug and fruits...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 18, 2011, 5:33 am
When I was in high school I wore the best underwear.  I had better underwear than any of my friends and was often complimented in the least porny way possible on how pretty my underwear was in the locker room.  My classmates, in the Utahiest part of Utah, had mothers that did not allow th...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 16, 2011, 1:14 am
Oh, there is a twinkle in the dark!  I can see it!  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of summer vacation! It is a beautiful twinkle promising rebirth and hope.  I'm going to pack up some myrhh and head on down to the school to deliver it and three of my children next Monday.  B...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 14, 2011, 11:43 pm
Ahh, old home days.  Visiting family where no one allows you to steal their wifi. I spent Wednesday evening in the Utahiest part of Utah with a bunch of old friends, some of whom have seen me quite naked. If there ever was a bonus to friendship with me it's that I'm willing to go skinnydipping ...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 8, 2011, 11:56 pm
I'm not one to say that one's pets are one's children.  Part of the family, sure, but I detest the term, "furbaby." But what exactly would you compare your cat to in this situation? Say you crawl into your freshly made bed with your husband to watch a movie and cuddle... And say y...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 5, 2011, 10:31 pm
My husband took me to dinner this evening.  Buffet.  In a gambling town you can choose between buffet and more buffet and a truck that serves the most extraordinary tacos on the planet.  If the taco truck served crab legs we would have gone there, no question.  As an aside, I did not both...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 3, 2011, 10:37 pm
Like The Absent Minded Housewife?  Like like like it?  Then like it on Facebook!  Or click the ugly black like box in the sidebar. My sisters make comments about my lopsided boobs.  If that's not reason enough to join up, I don't know what is.
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 3, 2011, 10:26 pm
Today I pushed my little dumpling seventeen year old son out my front door with specific directions to not go over to his friends houses, like he has every other day this week and last, and to instead take his freshly shaven and showered self into places of business and polietly but assertively inq...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Aug 1, 2011, 1:11 pm
My juice fast ended not a moment too soon, right after my body told me that if I didn't get some salt in my diet my insides would begin to ferment like beer and right before I took a blow to the head that caused an inch and a half long gash and much bleeding. Day three of juice-a-poo-looza sta...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jul 25, 2011, 10:04 pm
I hate The Food Network. Hate the grocery store, with all it's conveniently placed baked goods on pretty tables at the store's entrance. I hate my son for making toast, creating toast smells and scraping butter on his toast louder than he should. My husband wants to quit our juice...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jul 24, 2011, 11:15 pm
I'm bloated and the blame lies squarely with Netflix. Poke your finger in my gut and listen to me squeal.  Not that hard.  Now stop.  Or else I'll hurl.  Serious.  Stop.  Dammit. It's not Netflix raising their prices that has me bloated.  It's their suggested programming on my in...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jul 19, 2011, 1:38 am
For the last two weeks life has consisted of a series of busy nothings, as that tart Jane Austen liked to say.  Lots of little chores snowballing into more than half of July gone.  All of them about as interesting as Fordyce's Sermons.  (Google's auto search gives some interesting image results...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jun 29, 2011, 2:15 am
For dinner this evening my family will experience sad disappointment. Or, at least, with part of the meal.  The primary part of the meal will consist of some sort of animal charred on my husband's new grill.  It will be delicious. The other part of the meal, the part that will help mov...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jun 27, 2011, 11:01 am
I'm home.  Home's good. Disneyland is also good.  I love Disneyland.  I love that my kids love Disneyland.  My six year old loved Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain, of all things.  But, you can't live like that for long.  Eventually churros attack.  You cannot tell the differen...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jun 22, 2011, 1:43 am
Yesterday I spent ninety very hot minutes waiting in line for Star Tours not knowing until I was good and locked into the line that it was going to be that long.  I got a headache.  I skipped the 3D glasses so I wouldn't hurl in the ride.  Then we went back to the hotel and I slept the headache o...
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Becky Lee E. posted an article on The Absent Minded Housewife - Jun 20, 2011, 12:39 am
Happy Father's Day to all to whom it applies!  I'm blaming Father's Day Sunday on the mostly pleasant freeway driving that was to be had coming into Los Angeles.  Most everyone kept to the speed limit, kept to their own lanes, and I only saw one person on their phone.  This is in stark contrast ...
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