Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jan 16, 2012, 1:18 pm
So, today was a peculiar day. I woke up in a crappy mood, as per usual, got in the shower and then got ready for work. I had picked out an outfit which I discarded as soon as I looked in the mirror. I went to plan B, then plan C, then plan D then, then I just sat down on the bed and debated if I sho... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Dec 14, 2011, 12:08 pm
So things here at the Beehive haven’t gone as smoothly as I was promised in the fairy tales. It seems every time Andy and I are about to bathe in the light at the end of the tunnel, a giant boulder blocks our exit and we are left in the rat infested tunnel with only our iPhone lights to illuminate... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Oct 4, 2011, 12:59 pm
Okay. I am not making this up. OZ bought a new “accounting” computer for Milton because the one she was using is from the stone age and it finally just about blew up. They bought new software for it and she had been trying to register the software for over an hour.
Me: Uh, that computer is... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Sep 16, 2011, 12:30 pm
Glynda (to me): What did you do for Mexican New Year?
Me: … ::blink blink:: I’m sorry, what did I what for what?
Glynda: Mexican New Year. I read in the paper that it was Mexican New Year over the weekend.
Me: Uh, as far as I know Mexican New Year is still on January first but... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Sep 1, 2011, 3:35 pm
So I went to a new doctor a couple of weeks ago, I know what you’re thinking, “A new doctor, Bee? What happened to the grandmotherly Polish woman you’ve been going to for years?” She abandoned me that’s what! She picked up and moved her practice to Michigan with not so much as an “I enjo... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 17, 2011, 4:10 pm
Arkham Asylum has a long standing tradition where its employees bring their own cake on their birthdays (sucky tradition, yes?). It’s all fine and good until we hit July and August. July because there are 5 people with July birthdays which means a ton of cake in the kitchen which may sound like a ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 12, 2011, 2:08 pm
I was ordering OZ’s lunch (yep that is a shitload of responsibility right there!) and Milton, as the bookkeeper, asked me if I thought $1.50 was enough for a tip.
Me: I think that’s too low—
Milton: But they also charge a $2.50 delivery fee so he’d be getting a total of $4!
Me: You asked fo... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 5, 2011, 3:32 pm
We are heading to my inlaws “sprawling estate” in far-away-land for the weekend and it cracks me up at how excited Andy and I get over simple things:
Andy: Make sure you bring a book because I’m gonna be taking lots of naps so I’m not going to be able to entertain you.
Me: O-ka-y? I’m not ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jul 26, 2011, 12:56 pm
Me to myself “Okay, Bee, today is Tuesday. You got through Monday without any threats to first degree homicide anybody so you can get through Tuesday! You can do it! You can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!!”
Just then Glynda walks in: I need to inform everybody that Scarecrow has herpes of the mou... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jul 20, 2011, 10:32 am
Oh lord! Milton lost her pencil again! I have been at work for an hour and have been asked 5 times if I've seen it.
Me: Uh, I haven't moved from this spot in an hour. Unless it has tiny little legs and a map, I don't see how it could have made its way to my desk.
Milton: I know I keep as... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jul 18, 2011, 2:12 pm
So, you know how I’m always complaining about my bad luck and yucky job and other family related stress factors? Well not today! Today I am feeling lucky!
About a month ago, I signed up to see if I could be one of the lucky few who would get a sneak peak at the new Casino opening up near my house... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jul 6, 2011, 12:49 pm
So, on Sunday, Andy and I went on our weekly date to Costco. As we were walking through the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice an attractive couple putting large quantities of water and beer in their car. The chick was wearing tiny shorts and a tiny top and both kept pulling this way and that w... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jun 29, 2011, 12:08 pm
Me to Milton: Ick! My purse smells like rotten mango!
Milton: What? It smells like what?
Me: Rotten mango.
Milton (horrified): Why would it smell like that?
Me: Because I put it in there a couple days ago and forgot about it.
Milton (face ashen white and loo... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jun 22, 2011, 2:59 pm
Unfortunately for me, the lack of electricity means I have to go with my "Plan B" hairstyle which involves a headband and a hair claw because I do not have the solar powered hair dryer I asked for as a Christmas present. Damn you Santa and your naughty list!
I have come to the sad conclusion ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jun 16, 2011, 3:48 pm
I'm just sayin'.
It's been one of those days and I'm so very tired of having one of those days.
To lighten the mood, here is a Milton story:
Milton: I found a paperclip by your desk.
Me: Oh, um okay. Thanks.
Milton: You want to make sure you look around your desk before you leave be... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jun 13, 2011, 3:52 pm
Scarecrow to Me: When I run out of Vicodin, I pour water in the bottle the pills came in and drink it. You'd be surprised how much pill dust is still in there!
Me: ::blink blink:: I think you have a problem.
Scarecrow: I don't! It's not like I'm pouring Gin in there!— BWAHAHAHA! I th... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jun 6, 2011, 9:50 pm
I know what your thinking "But I love unicorns!" and I love them too and I like to dance in the rain with them every time I'm buzzed on Nyquil but the truth of the matter is that nobody would enjoy them making holes in your brain. Nobody.
ANYWAY, back to J-Lo.I think that actors that play musici... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jun 3, 2011, 3:28 pm
I hate it when people call me and ask for directions to get to our office. In this day and age of GPS and the internet, I feel like it's not my responsibility to draw somebody an imaginary map. Especially since they always ask shit like "are you on the east or west side of the street?" At that momen... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Apr 19, 2011, 10:50 pm
So, yeah. I am going to make a badge that says “I survived my 10th year anniversary!” because it was that off the hook, yo! What is the secret to my success? I’ve found that if you make a list of the things you want to accomplish on special occasions, you get through them with only minimal inj... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Apr 16, 2011, 2:54 pm
You just have to ignore the smell, scrape off the mold and wash it down with wine. What am I talking about? Mine and Andy’s 10 year anniversary of course!
I know. I can’t believe we have withstood floods, droughts, head butts (I headed butted him once when we were dating), pets, family memb... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Mar 23, 2011, 11:50 pm
So, yesterday was a quiet day at the Asylum. OZ is on vaca which means no Tinman, patients or URGENT ISSUES THAT NEED TO HAVE BEEN TAKEN CARE OF YESTERDAY. Cowardly Lion took a vacation day too so it was just Milton, Glynda, Scarecrow and I in the office. I didn’t think anything could possibly go ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Mar 20, 2011, 7:41 pm
*And by “research” I mean stuff I made up.
“The other day”, I was watching Legally Blond while Andy was on is computer, as I’ve mentioned before, his computer is now in the common area because his brother moved in with us. Remember him? The new guy I have to be constantly picking up ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Mar 16, 2011, 10:30 pm
(That’s how all my posts are going to start when I’m gonna write about something that happened a while ago.)
So, the other day I walked my niece Natalia to school and took Mocha with me. As some of you may know, our dogs are not what the snooty Dog Show people would call classically beautifu... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Mar 15, 2011, 10:21 pm
Hi. My name is Bee and it’s been about a month and somethin’ since my last post.
You know what my problem is? I want to be all cool and smooth in my posts and then I read them and then I think “LAME” and scrap the whole thing. I’m gonna go old school this time around and just sit here,... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jan 6, 2011, 2:01 pm
I was just informed by Glynda that The Rapture (The Rapture is an event in the futuristinterpretation of Christian eschatology, in which it is posited that Christians will be gathered together in the air to meet Christ) is scheduled for May 21st of this year and that The Apocalypse (no expla... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jan 4, 2011, 1:46 pm
I had to make room in my tiny closet for Andy's clothes. Yes, my brother in law has lived with us for 8 months so it was long overdue but a girl has to cling to the things that make her happy!
That's enough space, right?
Bee Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Dec 28, 2010, 12:41 am
Yeah, time flies when you're looking for your underpants . . . or so I've been told.
I hope your Christmas was as good as mine. I spent an awesome Christmas Eve with my family, even though we missed my nephew, little man Mateo (and his parents too I guess ::winky face::), it was such a great ni... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Nov 16, 2010, 11:03 pm
So, I celebrated another birthday last Thursday. Yeah, I know I totally acted out of character by not having a doomsday countdown this year but it kinda slipped my mind which is either a good thing because I don't feel like birthdays are a looming guillotine or a bad thing because I'm just getting t... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Nov 9, 2010, 11:25 pm
So I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire. I know I know. I am so late to the band wagon. Brian and I were probably the last 2 people on Earth to see it, I know he hasn’t seen it because he has an aversion to theater nachos, and now he’s all by himself on that ledge.
Anyway, it was a good movie. ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Nov 2, 2010, 11:24 pm
The other day (not sure which because I no longer keep track of weekdays), Milton, Glynda and I were talking about dinner meals we've had. I know! Interesting topics we explore here at Asylumland. I was talking about the Coq Au Vin Andy made for dinner (see big boob above) and Glynda was talking abo... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Oct 27, 2010, 11:08 pm
So, I went to get a hair cut about a month ago. I usually go to wacked-out-Freddie over in Chi-Town but I was lazy and it was hot and my finger was hurting so I went to the salon that's around the corner from my house instead.
I mean, even if they fucked up my hair and I wound up looking like Mo... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Oct 19, 2010, 11:44 pm
Yes, the situation was as dire as the TAN TAN TAN implies.
The morning started like every other morning, you know, with me leaving a trail of tears to my desk? There were no ominous signs of things to come. There hadn't been a blood moon the night before. No dead crows on my desk. Nothing to tell... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Oct 11, 2010, 10:44 pm
Was today one of those days that had you responding "fuck off!" even when someone was just saying "good morning!"?
No? Was it just me? I must be getting less tolerant in my old age. And so begins my moaning about turning another year older in approximately 31 days!
Anyway.
Sunday was my ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Sep 22, 2010, 12:06 am
Hey, what's up? How've you been? You know what? Before you answer, let me tell you about last night. Not that I don't care about what you've been up to but this here blog is called "Bee's Musings" not "Everybody tell Bee about their lives because she really cares only she doesn't but she'll pretend ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Sep 13, 2010, 11:25 pm
I saw the most ridiculous commercial!
It turns out there is a company out there that thinks we are all a bunch of morons. They are marketing a ball that they say gives you the illusion that it is defying gravity!
It seems to be a metal(looking) ball inside of a clear ball so it tricks th... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 31, 2010, 11:24 pm
I received an email* the other day asking about our new living arrangements with my brother-in-law because I haven't talked about it at all. This person was wondering how it was going and if I was ready to join a traveling circus yet. The short answer to that is *yes* and the long answer is ohmylord... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 25, 2010, 11:10 pm
I was reviewing my blog stats the other day because the searches that land people on my blog always amuse me. For some reason, there are a bunch of people obsessed with *googly eyes*! Anyway, I came across somebody, a spam site I think, linking to me via a post called "50 Best Blogs for Marriage Adv... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 23, 2010, 11:22 pm
Andy and I went to Costco on Sunday to restock our toilet paper stash and grab another 20 pound bag of Chihuahua cheese when we walked by this display.
That right there is a Nutcracker display. Wait, I need to repeat that. THAT RIGHT THERE IS A NUTCRACKER DISPLAY! As in the toy soldiers tha... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 19, 2010, 10:04 pm
So, as some of you may know, Milton is Arkham Asylum's *female* accountant (I'm pointing out that she's female because I gave her a male name and people always call her *he* or *him* and she's not either). As a person, I like her very much and she's been to my house and we've done yard sales and als... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 17, 2010, 6:16 pm
So, since I obviously missed posting about some uber important happenings in my life, which I'm sure you guys are bummed out about, I will have a new series called "Bee Muses Flashback Edition" and when you see that, I want you to picture that weird wave they do on a TV sitcom when the characters sc... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 15, 2010, 11:23 pm
So... Saturday was my last day at ACS. I know. Sad. Unfortunately for me, I could no longer work on Saturdays and they couldn't accommodate me because it wouldn't be fair to the other girls. Sure, I'm freaking adorable and that should have tipped the scales in my favor but what are you gonna do?
... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 10, 2010, 11:42 pm
Why else would they want women to dress like Colonel Jessup? Only we'd have cooler names. I'd be called Sergeant Pepper.
Ick! Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Aug 5, 2010, 11:22 pm
As some of you may know, I call Andy The Warden because he's always hell bent on bedtime being at 10:30 pm. He's always all "lights out! bedtime!" and goes around turning off lights, locking doors and unplugging laptops, well just one, MINE! Unless! Unless he's battling some evil dwarves. Then it's ... Comment - Like
Bee M. posted an article on
Bee's Musings
-
Jul 29, 2010, 11:25 pm
I was having a great day at ACS last week, happy to be inside an air conditioned place instead of melting and leaving puddles in my wake, when I suddenly received a frantic text message from My Andy.
See if you can figure out what happened.
"Illustration" by Bee Comment - Like
Recent Discussions
