Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Jan 22, 2009, 8:25 pm
Dave had made it clear that he was getting his kid tattooed on his arm. I told him he should wait until Maury tells him he is the father, for sure, but that fell on deaf ears. Hey Dave. Hey. I got that tattoo. You wanna see it? Oh, you know I do. OK, but it ain't finished yet. It still needs color. ...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Jan 2, 2009, 2:06 pm
Every year, my wife and I go to South Africa, to visit her family. After the pharmaceuticals clear my system, (I need them to fly) I like to get started on my holiday drinking. I met Kerwin in a really shady shithole bar in Capetown, and we had an interesting conversation about tattoos, sex, and l...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Dec 11, 2008, 8:51 pm
This guy used to drink in my bar. I don't know his real name--he had big nostrils, like Babe Ruth, so we called him 'Chunnel'. He was a lousy tipper. So, Chunnel, heard you got a new piece. Let's see it. (Proudly) OK, check it out. Alright...so kind of a warrior...sort of Boba Fett meets an Aztec w...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Dec 5, 2008, 9:51 pm
This is my friend Tracy. I have known her for years. She is just like one of the guys, except she has a vagina, and boobs. She is cool. Not just for the vagina and boob thing though. Hey Tracy, heard you got a new tattoo. Let's see it No fuckin' way. I am in no mood for your shit. Come on... No. I p...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Nov 30, 2008, 2:47 am
Celebrities love to tell the general public their sexual preferences, (doggy style is my favorite...FYI) and I suppose that a superhero is as "celebrity" as it gets...sort of. Well, some of us have always suspected that Batman and Robin were more than just SuperFriends--they were downright creepy s...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Nov 27, 2008, 9:46 am
I met Grady in a little town called Vernon, Florida. Grady was missing his left arm, clear up to his elbow...just like Amos Moses. The weird thing was, most of the people I met there were missing a foot, or a hand, or something. I figured they just lived too close to some power lines, or some Gato...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Nov 24, 2008, 8:39 pm
About 10 years ago Jason started dating a Latina gal named Maribel. She had the craziest, thinnest eyebrows I have ever seen. They looked like this: ~ ~ Jason suddenly discovered Hot Rods, and Jesus, and tried hard to embrace both. Sadly, he did not really "get" either of them, evidenced by ...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Nov 21, 2008, 9:19 pm
When Blake first got this tattoo, we all thought it was supposed to be Tina Yothers. Maybe it is his Grandma? Maybe it is Tina Yothers' Grandma? I have never been sure. Blake is a wiseassy never-got-over-College type, who still throws lots of themed parties. He has been on a "Island-Calypso" kick l...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Nov 17, 2008, 10:04 pm
We were all sitting at the bar, telling lies, when Tommy came in, bragging about his new Jesus tattoo. After he showed it to us, we split into 2 camps--one thought it looked like Neptune or Poseidon, whichever you prefer...the other thought it looked like the dick from Nickelback. After a few minute...
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Captain Dick posted an article on The Bad Ones Hurt Forever - Nov 14, 2008, 8:57 pm
I met Josh in a bar in Lock Haven, Pennsyltucky. I was about a mile past drunk. He seemed to on the wrestling team at LHU. Or at least his jacket was. "Hey...Man..HEY!!, Lemme see your tattoo." "OK" "That might be the best tattoo of a 'Homeless guy' I have ever seen. Actually, it might be the ONLY...
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