Chase Roper's Profile

Chase Roper

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34 Blog Followers

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Following Blogs: 14

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Inappropriate treats for kids

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Mar 18, 2011, 11:37 am
Katie Holmes was spotted recently with her little girl, Suri Cruise, who was publicly enjoying a pack of gummi penises. Just to be clear, that was SURI CRUISE - the 4 year old - with the pack of penis shaped gummies. Apparently, the notion of keeping sex organ themed candy away from little kids has ...
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Sick, Dogs, Crazy moms

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Mar 9, 2011, 12:47 pm
I feel like my kids have been sick forever. I can't remember a time since school started that one or all of my 4 kids haven't been coughing and sniffing. What is going on at their school? Are kids just lining up outside and taking turns coughing into each others' faces? I'm starting to think that ma...
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Not bi-polar, bi-WINNING. Wow. . . Charlie Sheen.

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Mar 6, 2011, 10:44 am
I missed last night's Sheen's Korner on Ustream.com. If you missed it too, here you go! Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Photo caption time!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Mar 4, 2011, 7:53 pm
"Should we 'duck, duck, duck, goose' for it?"
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Yay for snow (sarcastic title)

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Feb 23, 2011, 2:26 pm
Here is a quick clip of me complaining about the snow.
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Audio: Me clearing my head about Morning Radio gigs.

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Feb 17, 2011, 7:53 pm
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Coffee! Phone Calls! Dog Shit!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Feb 8, 2011, 12:57 pm
My day started at 2:30 when I was awoken from my deep slumber by the nagging sound of Mozart, the family dog. Mozart is a selectively bred dog that combines poodle with "some-sort-of-breed" terrier. He is extremely fluffy and furry and never sheds. This puppy is currently crate training and on this ...
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Casting Call for Movin 92.5: I'm putting in my bid

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Feb 4, 2011, 10:49 am
I recently heard on the radio that Movin 92.5 is looking to add a third on-air personality to the Brooke and Jubal Morning Show. I've never wanted to work on radio as bad as I did when I first heard of this open casting call. You could almost say that the thought never even occurred to me. You h...
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Something is happening in Egypt, a mom killed her mouthy kids, I don't know what's going on

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 29, 2011, 11:39 am
I have no idea what's going on in Egypt but here's me pretending anyways. I think the president (more like 30 year dictator!) of Egypt needs to - hang on, let me check the Drudge Report - get the heck out of Dodge. That guy has worn out his welcome and oppressed people? Look, I know he took away eve...
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working out is hard. Really really really hard.

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 26, 2011, 4:29 pm
I just started the Insanity Workout program. Day 1. Play the first disc. A little stretching and then 10 minutes of crazy intense working out followed. I was sweating, panting, feeling dizzy. Shamefully, it was the most working out I had done in over 10 years. Then the host of the dvd said, "ok, no...
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Someone is downloading every episode of The Kids in the...

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 21, 2011, 9:21 pm
Someone is downloading every episode of The Kids in the Hall. It's me. I am doing that. Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Insulting job postings on craigslist

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 21, 2011, 5:10 pm
While scrolling through local writing gig posts on Craigslist (and hating myself for doing so), I came across this little gem. . . Good day, my freelance writing firm is currently seeking professional college-educated writers to write articles for our clients. Candidates must present the following q...
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Journaling: Shitty dog, coughing kids, left the milk out.

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 21, 2011, 11:48 am
Our new dog is currently howling from my oldest boy's bedroom. I have him in time out after crapping all the front doorway. What an asshole dog. I'm all out of notebook paper so I until I venture into town to buy more, I'm going to do my morning journal entries right here. Or should I say "write" he...
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Fred Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church, hating on Tucson victims

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 10, 2011, 11:55 am
Fred W. Phelps, leader of the anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church that regularly pickets the funerals of troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, is praising the killings in Tucson and says his group will picket the funerals.Phelps, in a video on his group's web site, thanks God for the "marvelous work i...
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We want cookies!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Jan 6, 2011, 8:16 am
Kids all woke up at 4:30 and staged some sort of cookie coup. They've all been demanding a cookie and using threats of loud voices to wake up mom if they don't get what they want. Part of me just wants to yell back "Fine! I've got your damn COOKIES!" And then cram several cookies in their mouths ala...
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Looking back at 2010 - my last post of the year

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Dec 31, 2010, 8:45 am
Remember that really crazy thing that happened in the news this year and then just when we all thought nothing worse could happen, it DID?! Man, 2010 was a wild year. And who could have ever predicted all that snow fall in the winter? Or how hot it got in the summer! Whew! One of the saddest moments...
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Go pick up the new Paul F. Tompkins special 'You Should Have Told Me'

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Dec 15, 2010, 11:11 am
Last April, comedian Paul F. Tompkins helped me raise some awareness for Autism and I'd love for you all to help me continue to thank his efforts by checking out his brand new special "You Should Have Told Me" out on DVD as of just yesterday. Watch the clip below from the special and then click the ...
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Religious Sex Help Books

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Dec 8, 2010, 2:30 pm
OK. My wife and I have read several books intended to help Christian couples "spice up" their love life and "deepen" their spiritual connections, etc. There's a bunch of them out there but they always make feel uncomfortable. Not sure why because they are always in my favor and very specifically te...
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Happy Marriages

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Dec 7, 2010, 7:39 pm
I always hear married couples joke that after many years of marriage, their sex life gets lame. That's just because the wives don't allow their husbands to shave their vag's. Or maybe take some pictures. That's the kind of practical advice they don't give you at Weekend to Remember. FamilyLife, you ...
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Trying to deal with distractions while I'm writing

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Dec 1, 2010, 10:59 pm
I'm sitting in my office/kitchen writing and my oldest is in the living room playing Call of Duty. The volume is low but he keeps narrating his own game play to himself in such a way that is sounds exactly like he's trying to talk to me. He is constantly breaking my concentration despite my pleas to...
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Merry Christmas from the Ropers!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 29, 2010, 9:08 am
It's Christmas time and we just ordered our 2010 Christmas Cards! Merry Christmas from my family to yours! Family Wall Red Christmas CardMake a statement with custom Christmas cards at Shutterfly.View the entire collection of cards.
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The Nicolas Cage school for actors

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 28, 2010, 8:17 am
Wow, I debated on posting this on my site for a long time. It's been around for a while and most of my friends have seen it but it's just too funny not to be here. An acting buddy of mine said aspiring actors should stop paying for classes and just watch this video every Wednesday night. Enter your...
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Amazon.com to make a 3D theater experience in your home easier to achieve (ad)

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 25, 2010, 12:07 pm
Offering a free 3D Blu-ray disc player and 3D starter kit with qualifying purchase For a limited time, Amazon.com is offering a free Panasonic DMP-BDT100 3D/2D Blu-ray Disc player and a 3D Starter Kit when you purchase a qualifying Panasonic GT25 3D HDTV. To take advantage of this special offer, sim...
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Harry Potter Captcha Art

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 20, 2010, 12:04 am
So the idea here is that I saw a captcha phrase when posting something on Craigslist and thought I would make sense of that phrase by applying it to an image. So I present to you, "Signal Reparim". Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Ever wondered how to properly make a cold Wendy's drink?

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 18, 2010, 7:18 pm
If you're like me, then you like to watch the new zombie show on AMC called, "The Walking Dead." Also, you've always wondered what the proper protocol for making cold drinks at Wendy's is. Well, WONDER NO MORE. Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Arnold massage vibrator

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 13, 2010, 10:45 am
My dad brought me a bunch of stuff from his garage. Found this little vintage number. Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Cruise disaster? We all remember the Titanic, right?

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 12, 2010, 1:02 pm
Passengers of the sort of ill fated Carnival Cruise ship were finally able to share details of their ordeal out at sea. After an engine fire, the cruise ship was without power and stranded in the ocean. Until today, the true horrific details haven't been known. Their ship lost power after an engine ...
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Must watch: Mad Men on AMC

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 10, 2010, 7:27 pm
Everybody! If you aren't already watching Mad Men on AMC, then stop whatever it is you are doing, go to Amazon.com RIGHT NOW and buy the first three seasons on BluRay. This show is written so well and is so compelling to watch. I can't get over how fantastic it is. Just go do it. Now. Go get these s...
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Press Releases, Get your fresh Press Releases here! Just $99 for a full page!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 10, 2010, 3:58 pm
I am a freelance writer helping make ends meet by offering a valuable skill at a terrific discount. Looking for a Press Release for your business? I can write you a professional and affordable full page press release that is engaging and search engine optimized for $99. My turn around time is rough...
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Writers block, daylight saving time, Mel Gibson movie

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 7, 2010, 9:31 am
I really need to get some writing done this morning but I keep looking for distractions. Really? Registering a profile on RadarOnline.com is necessary at 6am? No, of course it isn't. Now I'm here, blogging about resisting the writing process in hopes that it will knock the gears loose and help me ge...
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This black man loves his pokemon

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 4, 2010, 6:26 pm
I know, I know, another video, gosh. Where's all the WRITING from this writer. Well, chill out. I'm writing a book. It will all be in place eventually for you to read at the same time. In the book. That's how books work. But below is a video that comedy writer/actor Steve Agee shared on his Tu...
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happy birthday to me.

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Nov 2, 2010, 6:33 pm
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Working on a new book. Exciting stuff!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 30, 2010, 9:51 am
I will be participating in National Write a Novel Month starting in just two days. For those not familiar, the national novel writing month is November and a wonderful on-profit group has set up the website NaNoWriMo.org to help writers keep each other on track to complete a book in just 30 days. I'...
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a funny video: 'I don't understand job' - Garfunkel & Oats

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 29, 2010, 2:00 pm
I had the great fortune of interviewing these funny ladies at Bumbershoot a few months ago. It was an interesting experience since Riki Lindhome was on vocal rest. I would ask a question for both and Kate Micucci would try to translate Riki's pantomiming. The audio ended up being unusable which was ...
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Andy Kaufman Award competition rejection

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 26, 2010, 5:13 pm
Earlier this year, I entered (for the second consecutive year) the Andy Kaufman Award talent competition. I aimed for something short, brilliant and that spoke to the absurdness and sometimes "anti comedian" archetype that makes Kaufman so appealing to me. My entry was purely for my own entertainmen...
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I should title this something.

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 22, 2010, 5:14 pm
Hi readers! Thought I'd check in and let everyone know what in the heck has been going on with me and my world since I stopped using Facebook and Twitter. So far, so good. Occasionally, my thoughts drift and I think of something hilarious to write as a status update. What has helped so far is the st...
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Hi readers! Thought I'd check in and let everyone know...

Morning Coffee and Internet Radio Show Thing - Marriage

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 18, 2010, 11:42 am
Listen to internet radio with Chase Roper on Blog Talk Radio Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Deactivated facebook and twitter - what am I DOING!?

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 14, 2010, 6:14 pm
Yesterday, I made the emotionally irrational decision to completely deactivate my two favorite social networking mediums. Facebook and Twitter. I feel very strongly that I lack the capacity and will power to NOT let these two things completely waste my time or ruin my life. It was not a carefully th...
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Monkey drops baby but not in the fun nursery rhyme way

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Oct 8, 2010, 1:44 pm
I just read a news story out of Malaysia about a monkey that dropped a four day old baby to it's death. This is of course a tragic event, but would have been easily prevented by keeping windows and doors closed. Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping a screen on your doors and windows so y...
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Morning Coffee and Internet Radio Show Thing - Season 1 Ep 2

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Sep 21, 2010, 2:11 pm
I sit in my kitchen, talk to some folks about comedy, kids, and other stuff. If you like comedy and also have kids OR are someone else's kid, you should listen. This episode - Caissie St.Onge! Listen to internet radio with Chaseblogger Live on Blog Talk Radio Enter your email address: Del...
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Angry Birds: An Appreciation, by Robot F. Tompkins

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Sep 20, 2010, 9:26 pm
Famed comedian Robot F. Tompkins is somewhat obsessed with the iPhone game Angry Birds. Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Tooth Fairy Office Politics

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Sep 17, 2010, 10:24 am
a tooth fairy at the office on casual Friday is in trouble for turning in a tooth shaped necklace instead of an actual tooth. Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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Chaseblogger Live! My boys start the Kth grade

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Sep 15, 2010, 5:34 pm
New episode of Chaseblogger Live! is up for your listening enjoyment. Just press play. Hopefully this will be on itunes soon for you to subscribe to. The audio on this intro is all kinds of wrong. I'll work on it. Listen to internet radio with Chaseblogger Live on Blog Talk Radio Enter your email...
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$800,000 African Genital-Washing Program?!

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Sep 14, 2010, 4:49 pm
News came down today that The National Institute of Mental Health spent over $800K of economic stimulus funds in 2009 on a study by a UCLA research team to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex. The program focused on both washing in and around the foreski...
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YouTube - disturbing neighbors

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Sep 3, 2010, 1:12 pm
YouTube - disturbing neighbors: "This video has been added to your Favorites. This video has been removed from your Favorites. You dislike this video. Thanks for the feedback! “” results Loading..." Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner
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my kids can't stop watching the Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Aug 18, 2010, 6:45 pm
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the greatest entry to the Andy Kaufman Award - EVER

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Aug 4, 2010, 12:19 pm
What the award is: The Andy Kaufman Award™ was created to preserve the legacy of one of America's most unique and influential performers in a dynamic way. The prestigious award honors Andy Kaufman's creative spirit while simultaneously shining a spotlight on promising performers with the potentia...
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Pedophiles at the park

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Aug 2, 2010, 4:51 pm
My family recently upgraded to a TWO CAR status and with our second car comes new found freedom for me. Freedom that was used by taking my kids to the park playground. Yesterday, the park was PACKED, which can only mean one thing - pedophiles. You have to assume that whenever the playground is...
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5 year old delivers double fist punch to the balls

Chase Roper posted an article on Chase Roper | writer, stand-up comic - Aug 1, 2010, 12:55 pm
Over the weekend, my son Noah was delighted to see that his mom had purchased Cheetos at the store. We gave him (and all the kids) some of those cheesey gems with their dinner. You'd think that would be the last we'd hear of it, but Noah had another devious plan hatching in his mysterious mind. &...
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About Me

Chase Roper is a brilliantly subtle and bitingly sarcastic writer and humorist from Lacey, WA. He has comedy writing featured in the nationally published celebrity gossip magazine Life&Style and has performed his version of stand-up comedy at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club. Currently, Chase is one of many talented writers creating jokes for the new hilarious iPhone application "This Just In" created by, Fred Graver. Chase has been a regular contributing writer for the premier stand-up comedy publication, PunchlineMagazine.com since 2005.

While it might not be relevant to his comedy career, Chase feels it is important to mention that he is also an expert on the subject of zombies, and martial arts movies. At home Chase is often referred to as Husband or Dad, probably on account of having a wife for 10 years and four children.

Also,"bitingly" might not be a real word.
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