edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jan 4, 2012, 5:07 am
It's it fun the way that the breath of a person can capture you?
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 25, 2011, 2:53 am
Take the cigarette out of your mouth and lose my attention. I'm just saying you could do better. I don't mean anything. "I'm dead inside" "You make that pretty obvious" Remember absorption of self into self? That feeling of liking and wanting to kill it and kill them to save the self dear god what...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 4, 2011, 3:27 am
Я вас любил: любовь еще, быть может В душе моей угасла не совсем; Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит; Я не хочу печалить вас ничем. Я вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно, Т...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Nov 10, 2011, 1:37 am
Beauty often is uneasy to dissociate from character. From the beginning of it and then the end of it and sometimes deadly rouging of colour after lips have been toughed by something greater. I magically and albeit deceivingly wash whatever words I remember from memory in search of strength in create...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Nov 9, 2011, 7:57 pm
You know that awkward and remote feeling of plunging backward into a body of water only to find it's deeper than you remember? The psychological feeling, I mean. I cannot be around people right now...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 30, 2011, 7:00 pm
I commit myself to nothing so often that I sometimes forget what I've been avoiding. Why not? Why not the taste of cigarettes and defeat. I sometimes want to be as revealing and loose-tongued as I know others can be and I want to wear my skin as an open overcoat which I hand to the doorman as I ente...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Sep 22, 2011, 12:58 pm
Despite it all, simple things catch me. "I've had enough of all the things that make me nervous and sad." I have wasted a copious amount of time, a pathetic amount of time feeling sorry and satisfying the ugly within myself by driving myself mad. I have been sitting in the depths of my own womb, to ...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Sep 14, 2011, 4:00 pm
I have never more felt out of place in a place I know. I feel like something is missing. Call me a child, but I'd say that maybe, perhaps this is too much change for me. I want a bit of the consistancy of before. Something from previous to hold on too, but things keep slipping. Keep fucking slipping...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Aug 9, 2011, 8:25 pm
I hate when people laugh too much. Laugh away their utter stupidity, joke about their ridiculous lack of thought before speaking. I hate it in others, I hate it in myself. Say them, say all these words and press your voice to make the greater, lesser, and the lesser, trivial. Self reflect to make t...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jul 28, 2011, 12:08 am
When music drives my logic back into me, consumes me with moderation, process, thought and calculation. When I am forced to question myself, proven wrong by clever progressions and pauses; it is then that I realize the weight of sound on me. I patiently wait for each moment when, again, I can be hum...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jul 3, 2011, 1:22 am
It is unfortunate to discover that you're even less than, in your modesty, you thought you were. Less than the small figment you imagined yourself to already be, smaller than the last bit of the world you'd grasped for yourself. It is unfortunate because it is true and it is lovely in that it means...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jun 10, 2011, 12:23 am
Remember? Remember when we used to talk about roles about the roles that humans, that people used to play. The ones they'd use to fasten themselves to the wagon that pulled them into what they dreamed to be. Strip themselves away to get to their trueness, their nothing. Remember? When we'd talk of t...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jun 8, 2011, 12:13 am
I can. And so I do. And it, sometimes, is that simple. Some music just puts me in places. I'm so so happy with Uverworld, no matter what.
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jun 5, 2011, 1:34 am
How fair is it for me to trust you when all the genuine in you is embodied in the women who surround you. The weight of your words, of your world, tosses me into submission. Remind me of my blood, remind me of the blue. I hardly have to think, have to mind my own business -- I have none -- just allo...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - May 26, 2011, 2:19 am
It is the most horrifying thing  to pull the music from my ears believing something has sounded, and find myself in abrupt silence.
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - May 26, 2011, 1:47 am
You kill for your god, for your government, for your family. We kill for ourselves, for our sanity, to disprove the same, to agonize. I would destroy for a person aligned with my music taste. I would end for a person who might die with me in the noises and rhythms and bass. You say you're willing to...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - May 24, 2011, 12:16 am
I watched her while she tilted her head to look me over, watching me, judging me, calculating my response. I had only negated her accusation, but she hated that, we both did, we liked drawn explanations, though I hadn't one to give her. Had I gone missing for three days simply to get away from her?�...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - May 18, 2011, 2:05 am
You know, there's a whole world of joy out there waiting for me to have it. And a whole world of music for me to discover some of that joy. I take it all oppositely and today has been the strangest most intense day somehow. Nothing has happened, but then everything too. Shift the weight to better...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - May 7, 2011, 12:57 am
Winter lows. Summer lows. Only at the turning of the season am I high. And sometimes always, and sometimes never. And sometimes I can't breathe and no one is saying anything and there I am, wishing, wallowing, wondering. Despite my cavalry, I am losing. The navy is sunk and my artillery is being ...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Apr 30, 2011, 7:50 pm
Shit happens and people will judge you and what you suppress eventually pours out and people witness your mania and so you have to pretend that it's a mad crazy moment in your life and not the actual you. It isn't you know. The actual you is what you've created. Or it will be. Eventually.
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Apr 8, 2011, 11:35 pm
Imagine. Footsteps walk ahead of you, and in line with destiny, possibly proposed by one's self, you walk intuitively into the steps which are marked before you. In this you erase it, erase the punctures and flatten the earth behind you, clearing the path so that another may create their prints alo...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Mar 13, 2011, 7:58 pm
I can't imagine how long its been since I've been this way. We blog, we write stories and to what grounds. I must imagine that this is taking me no where and that in my scholarly pursuits I'm going to die. I don't mean that. I mean all the things my mother meant me to be I will likely be and in defe...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Feb 4, 2011, 2:23 am
What then? What worlds do pass freely over head and say nothing to us. How the mother speaks leaves our own chests fallen, breathless. And so we, her children, guarded by her fate, question our desires. What world? Where then does this world meet the next and how far from that point do we stand. Nea...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Jan 31, 2011, 1:52 am
Everyday I wake up feeling as though I'm going to choke because so soon as I post about my inability to see one of the most influential bands of my life, the Edge (the only local radio station I listen to) announces that at the Toronto chain of Edgefest '11, A Perfect Circle will be performing. It t...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jan 30, 2011, 2:47 pm
I question my answers so often that at times, usually, I am suffered into discomfort of my idle decision. With great function I recognize that I am doing nothing of which I wish to be doing, my direction is flawed; going, I am halted. In a perpetual state of circumstance I find myself laughing that ...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Jan 28, 2011, 10:22 pm
I am so endlessly preoccupied with myself that at times I forget who I'm thinking of. We are all sitting quietly within our own magazines in full gowns, gracing centerfolds and praying for the moment that someone might open up that magazine of yours and awe themselves at your magnificence in a steep...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Dec 27, 2010, 3:23 am
This band is a compromising sin I can't bear to apologize for. While I question my nerve and my sanity, it questions other things, suggests my humanity to me, opens my logic, demands answers. I wonder gravely how long I can go without them, since I know that I need them most when I can no longer sta...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 23, 2010, 7:50 pm
Aren't you? It's so brilliant how the corners of the mouth pull into a smirk instead of a smile when 'if only I could have her' turns to 'i will have her'. How simple. My outlook has been wrong all this time.
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 8, 2010, 12:10 am
Aren't you falling? I am. Die with me. /MagnoliaHoursRachelGettingMarriedBlackSwan/ The rest The rest. The rest.
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 7, 2010, 1:10 pm
Who the fuck are you, who the fuck do you think you are? I come in here, you don't know me, you don't know who I am, what my life is, and you have the balls, the indecency to ask me a question about my life? Please, lady, why don't you calm down - ? Fuck you, too! Don't you call me "lady". I c...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 7, 2010, 12:57 pm
This cannot be "One of Those Things... " This, please, cannot be that. And for what I would like to say, I can't. This was not just A Matter Of Chance. Oh. These strange things happen all the time. I am always trying to keep up with your posterity as you attempt to public relieve yourself of yo...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 5, 2010, 4:11 am
Everyone wants to fucking kill themselves. Fuck this. Fuck me. Fuck you too. Mother fucker. I casually learn to give less and less of a shit each day. I just want to wander around for a while. I want to go home. I want to walk around or sit around or whatever. I have work tomorrow. I'm so tired. I'm...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 3, 2010, 4:54 am
I want you to notice when I'm not around. You're so fucking special. I wish I was special. I have never in my life laughed so hard inwardly. I hope you realize that I am quietly judging you. More than that, I hope you realize that I judge you quietly as modest entertainment when the windows are ...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 3, 2010, 2:55 am
Why can't you simply say that you want to kill yourself. You want to devour all the advil you have left and die into your sleep. You want to choke yourself. You are ugly and you are fat and you are stupid and you are crazy and so is this day. You want death so badly, you can hardly think. Why can't ...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Dec 3, 2010, 2:15 am
Today I have learned of my own lack of will. Today I am the worst. Today I am the fattest. Today is my last of eating Today is the worst Today I hate everything Today, I recounted the whole situation to a friend of mine and I think I'm disturbed by the whole thing. How much control have I truly? It'...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Dec 1, 2010, 2:06 am
My theme for this year's play list is well.. drugs. Sort of. I've never experience a high or low of drug usage in my life, so I can't really attest for my own verity, but what I've done this year is created a suggested listening to be used in replaces of whatever it is that takes people up and down...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Nov 30, 2010, 8:05 pm
As I convert myself to genius in an attempt to think of decent holiday gifts, I found myself at Value Village poking around different sections to find a gift for each of my friends. With ten friends covered, I'd only spent about 55 dollars and I doubt I'll spend much more. I bought 3 books for 6 dol...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Nov 26, 2010, 12:52 am
I looked it up. It's the capital of Lebanon. In any case, this case presents us with a new meaning. Instead of a place, we put an idea. Something nearly tangible except only in the way of words. Beirut is a band. And as good bands do, they have captivated me. They have this sound that is otherworldl...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Nov 8, 2010, 6:35 pm
Music is my inspiration, we know that. And this band has probably inspired me to be a lady more than any other, and meanwhile, it also inspires me to conquer the world, change it, grip it in my palm and crush it. The embodiment of this one band, is secondary to the band that overwhelms me and of cou...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Nov 5, 2010, 6:07 pm
Everyday, at least once a day, even when I'm at my best, though moreso when I'm at my worst, I fantasize about my own death. And everyday, at least once a day, even when I'm at my best, though moreso when I'm at my worst, I cannot commit. And some days you only take half as many Advil as can kill y...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Nov 5, 2010, 2:59 am
I think more than anything else, any other traits, any other stigmas and idealizations, I could never date a person with dissimilar music taste to me. As a matter of fact, I can hardly have friends who do not understand at least some of my music taste. All my relationships are based on music. All my...
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edit safemode posted an article on We cannot fool mother nature. - Oct 31, 2010, 2:04 am
After one of the longest nights of my life, I go on to possibly the longest day. With work tomorrow (today, technically) at noon, I should really be sleeping already, but I needed to discuss something magnificent before sleeping, to feel creatively justified. Yesterday's party was hilariously amusin...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 30, 2010, 4:38 pm
We circle in our own desires quietly, ever quietly to somehow arrive at where we've settled. I cannot fathom waking up to a brighter morning and yet lingering beneath my stomach is the sickness and dawning desire to collapse my efforts and fly off a building. I have to imagine that flying is like fa...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 29, 2010, 1:04 am
Tonight is the strangest night. Default my world being confused, default hatred, default, what the fuck? Anyway. I think the reason I have all these friends that I'm losing commonality with is because at the very least, these annoyingly psychotic people are fun to watch. The people I adore are simpl...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 27, 2010, 9:04 pm
If I suck in, I look perfect. (From the hips up) And in the words of a genius I know, "perfection is standard" So, I'll have to develop a concave stomach. Working on it.
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 24, 2010, 10:29 pm
Sometimes after discussing the horrors of my friends with others, I realize how oafish the people I hang out with can be. Can you imagine how many people I learn to hate in just one year? I can't, I don't even know the numbers. It's at least one new one every year, so I know I hate at least 16 peopl...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 24, 2010, 8:29 pm
Besides that though, I was walking home today and it was probably the foggiest day I've seen since I was 12 and the playground turned into a commercial for the Gap. Listening to Florence, I somehow came to this inane conclusion that I am only attracted to girls because they have an underlying connec...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 22, 2010, 7:25 pm
MY STOMACH HURTS. I really should have eaten real food today instead of just sticking with sugars alone. Perhaps the pasta was a better choice for dinner, but I wasn't hungry enough! Really. I wasn't hungry enough. Tomorrow maybe I'll be hungry enough to pass by and see the world in antiquity. And...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 21, 2010, 10:05 pm
Aren't you beautiful with your ill-faceted words and acquisition of nothing. I should pity you, I know, because it's all anyone ever says. Isn't she lovely? They ask. Has it ever occurred to you that they always ask whether or not you beauty is noticeable? Is it actual? Is it there? Not really. You...
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edit safemode posted an article on Don't you ever ask for money. - Oct 15, 2010, 3:30 pm
One of those days I guess. One of those days when you're certain things must be heading south for someone since you keep climbing this unending mountain. There must be some negative to balance out and sweet pea, whoever you are, I'm praying for you. We'll both mellow out and have out even flow of sw...
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