Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Dec 27, 2011, 3:35 pm
Christmas!  Either you love it or hate it.  It can be filled with joy and sadness, sometimes both.The little French lady decided that we should have a traditional Christmas this year.  I thought it was a good idea.  We both discretely hinted at what we would like for Christmas.  The only hints ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Dec 22, 2011, 12:19 pm
I am sure you have heard of the movie where the young boy says, "I see dead people." Not me!  I see old people.  They are everywhere.  You can't avoid them. A lot of these people think they are dead people, or act like dead people, but they are somewhat alive.  I think the Republicans are tryin...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Nov 30, 2011, 5:12 pm
"Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the living room floor. The family's little rat terrier walked up to the prone body and defecated on its unbreathing chest, as restless reindeer shifted their hoofs noisily on the roof of t...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Nov 22, 2011, 5:34 pm
Goodbye Doctor Phil.No more hair raising stories. No more road trips, I have a daily program. The little French Lady and I have watched Doctor Phil for eight years.  One day, while we were watching Phil, he looked into the camera and said, "How's that working for you?"  My wife and I looked at eac...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 29, 2011, 12:15 pm
Bullets for a better world. Yesterday my wife, the little French lady, explained relativity to me and she didn't need Einstein around to explain it. She used the three hair theorem. If I had 3 hairs on my head that wouldn't be very much hair.  If I had those same three hairs floating in my soup, ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 13, 2011, 3:32 pm
Making new friends? Yesterday I realized that I miss the companionship and fellowship of my male friends, so my wife ordered me out of the house until I found some cronies to hang out with. She is the one who used the word "cronies", I did not! Her thinking was;young guys have friends, old guys ha...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 29, 2011, 1:16 pm
One of our many experts. (only two actually) Misinformation Hotline from the Hemlock Institute This is a service I will be providing to the American public starting October 1st (Mayday).  I will be answering questions based on my personal database and prejudice.  The answers have no basis in fac...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 19, 2011, 6:55 pm
Wine Tasting MisadventuresWhat's the word?...Thunderbird?She was my mistress and companion on my nightly excursions in the world of youthful sleaze. I tried to sleep with her on numerous occasions.  Sometimes I was successful, but usually she would get my head spinning and my stomach all queasy.  ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 8, 2011, 1:40 pm
I'm off to see the wizard. Recently the little French Lady and I have become more health conscious.  In keeping with this theme I adjusted my 401K to reflect my expected living age to 110 years old.   Now I must do something in the health department to facilitate my expectations. My wife adjuste...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Aug 4, 2011, 6:14 pm
Friends, Family and other malcontents. We all have them, don't we? Oh, you know who I am talking about.  It might be Uncle Percy, who collects ear wax and makes religious statues out of it.  It could be the neighbor who borrowed your riding mower and sold it on ebay.  Maybe it is Uncle Wally who ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Aug 2, 2011, 2:50 pm
A Tale of Survival This is a heroic and epic tale of overcoming daunting circumstances and unbelievable danger.No, it wasn't the holocaust, WWII, the McCarthy era,  hurricane Katrina, September 11th, 2001, the Obama presidency, the Bush presidency.  None of those. It was called "growing up in the...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jul 19, 2011, 6:01 pm
Me!!! Sorting it out. Things are getting a little fuzzy in my head and it is not my hair.  I am trying to make sense of what is going on in the world. My world. Making sense of nonsense. For starters, so you know who these people are? Who would you trust in these pictures? The people on the top or...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jul 12, 2011, 10:44 am
good size jellyfish.  kinda flattened out.Our Neighbor Wendy caught this good size sting ray.  Wendy is holding the fish pole.pretty girl, ugly porcupine puffer fishSwimming in Myrtle Beach. Why would anyone swim in the ocean? Oh! now I remember. or not!!!
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jul 6, 2011, 5:14 pm
"Run, Agatha, Run! "THE PROBLEM:" I have this talkative neighbor, Agatha, who seems to be the world foremost authority. You name the subject, she has the truth....not an opinion, The TRUTH!!! Oh, there is one exception.  She does not own a computer.  She refuses to own one.  Google is not in h...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jun 8, 2011, 9:02 pm
Writer's block? Prologue: Stuart Woods is a world famous writer of mystery novels.  He wrote the book "Chiefs" which was made into a television miniseries.  He has written over 40 books.He is a nifty guy.I am a blogger.  I had writers block, of a sort.  I figured Stuart could help me.  I email...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - May 23, 2011, 7:40 pm
                               I am committed to good food. My wife (the little French Lady) and myself have become addicted to Geocaching.  We have been doing our little adventure of finding Tupperware in the woods using million dollar satellites for about 6 months.   We are gett...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - May 4, 2011, 8:21 am
Navy Seals(camoed) Great job, guys!!!!I am feeling abject and despicable shame.  The local delegate from the Republican party has just left our house. He gave me the Republican IQ test. I am considered an imbecile due to my chosen political affiliation. This is humiliating. I did not get one answe...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Apr 16, 2011, 8:25 am
cough! cough!Yeah, yeah, yeah, How bad can it be if Einstein did it and Sherlock Holmes did it? Intelligent and logical, right? I did it for forty years.  I know about smoking.  It was wonderful.  I really enjoyed chemistry in high school.  Most of the chemicals I dealt with in high school were ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Apr 9, 2011, 10:14 am
Ok! I just watched a rerun of American Idol. Yes, I finally get it.  Pia Tuscano was voted off by 13 year old female cellphone users.  We all know how astute the critical judgement of 13 year old hormonally imbalanced females can be. That is why there are 2 girls and 5 guys left.  I suspect that ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Mar 29, 2011, 6:29 pm
I pledge allegiance to my belly...? Awkward seems to be my favorite word lately.  I misappropriated it from the little French lady.  You would think she would use the word gauche. She seems to be using awkward on a regular basis.  It seems to go well with her other favorite word, "obtuse". For t...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Mar 5, 2011, 8:22 am
It was a dark and stormy night.  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There!!!! My English teacher said you should try to grab your readers right from the start.  It worked for Bulwer-Lytton and Charles Dickens.  It will work for me.  I actually tried to fit Hemingway into this b...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Feb 26, 2011, 9:57 am
The Pile! When my wife and I talk about our education we realize how different we were educated and raised. This should come as no surprise. She was raised in an area in Quebec where aluminum mining was the big industry. I was raised in an area of New York where the big industry was iron ore mining....
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Feb 18, 2011, 5:35 pm
Irony defined: A state of affairs or an event that seem deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. My wife and I recently  became geocachers.  One of my internet friends occasionally made reference to "geocaching" .  I tried to ignore it, but it just kept popping ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Feb 9, 2011, 2:21 pm
Life in America A skewered look at life on this planet.  Brought to you by the Hemlock Institute, an non-profit think tank running on fumes. Think tanks are quite adept at making prediction.  I will make some predictions.In the year 2030: There will be millions of people walking around with thei...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jan 11, 2011, 9:17 am
It sure was the best of times. Ahhh!! The bittersweet passage of time.Recently my sister notified me that the house I grew up in had been sold. It had been the family home for over 50 years. She said she had found some interesting stuff in the attic, basement, and storage shed. She had also found ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jan 5, 2011, 9:36 am
Writer's corner.....30 seconds after I stood up. This has been a busy Christmas season for the little French lady and me. She takes a two week vacation during this time of year. We do things that will entertain both of us during the holidays. I have been doing a little bit of geocaching in the p...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Dec 21, 2010, 8:39 am
Could you run that by me again? I have been invited once again to become a farmer on Facebook. Which brings me to the question: Why am I on Facebook and where is Farmville? I don't want to help you with your crops. Leave me alone.I may join Farmville just so I can let loose a plague of locust follow...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Dec 13, 2010, 3:04 pm
ESSENTIALLY OILED It all started innocently enough. In fact, I kinda looked upon myself as a hero. Heroes need to be rewarded but that's not what happened. My wife and I are people who like our home to smell nice. We have many things that have a wonderful aroma. We have numerous essential oils...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Dec 6, 2010, 9:45 pm
Merry Christmas Everyone! Well, My wife is watching her 14th straight Christmas movie, the fake fire is going in the fireplace,  I am listening to the "Phil Spector Christmas album".   I am sure I am enjoying it more than Phil this year.  I am listening to Darlene Love sing "Marshmallow World". T...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Nov 23, 2010, 8:55 am
AND PROACTIVE TOO!!! It is officially the holiday season. I am at wit's end trying to think of something useful to contribute to society in general. My experience at the doctor's office a few weeks ago gave me an idea. On the entrance door to the office there is a large sign with large lettering...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Nov 11, 2010, 9:17 am
Recently, a series of events has occurred that has profoundly affected my normal day to day life. Since this all happened in a period of two weeks, it took over my life. First, I put off getting my flu shot. This gave me plenty of "down" time. I caught the flu.The thing about the flu is; at fir...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 27, 2010, 8:26 am
My wife and I are alike in many ways. We also have some glaring differences.What happen the other day is a perfect example. I mentioned to her that her computer was a work computer that was supplied by her company. It had a lot of restrictions. It was not a good place to store your personal doc...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 22, 2010, 1:24 pm
I know it's hard to believe but that isn't me in the picture. I quietly turned the key to let myself into the house. I was sure I could make it to the upstairs bedroom undetected. Wilson met me as I tiptoed into the living room. Thank God he is not a meower. He just opens his mouth and smacks a...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 20, 2010, 12:41 pm
Welcome To all potential senior citizens. I'm guessing you have muddled through the process without too much assistance or the use of power of attorney.I don't know how old you are now, but at some point, between the ages of 50 and 60 you start thinking of yourself as "middle aged". This is a littl...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 13, 2010, 9:32 am
Geocaching can be hell!!! I am always looking for bargains. I buy many used books through Amazon and I keep an eye on Ebay for a good deal. In recent days I have been looking for a trail GPS. On the first of October I was on Ebay looking at Electronic stuff when I happen to come across a GPS of m...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Oct 4, 2010, 2:20 pm
Am I correct? The other day while my wife and I went on our long walk, we stopped at a gazebo for a trail mix break. We stopped and talk to a couple of nice people. I commented later on that one of them was "mentally retarded." My wife corrected me on this. She was right.I could have used a better t...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 27, 2010, 10:38 am
Greek geeks! My wife and I went to the Greek Festival this weekend. She was so impressed that she is thinking of converting to Greek Orthodox. It is a lot like being a Catholic but you don't have to kneel. She has started referring to Istanbul as Constantinople. She has asked me to change my nam...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 16, 2010, 3:42 pm
Finding Religion My wife and I were raised Catholic. I was an altar boy. I had to give it all up. Bad knees. My wife, on the other hand, gave it up for an entirely different reason. The Catholic Church switched from Latin to French (In Quebec). She finally realized what they were saying. We still go...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 15, 2010, 2:00 pm
Not necessarily my own! Last evening I suggested to my wife that our neighbors were actually aliens. I am not talking about from Mexico or Haiti aliens. No! I am talking about Alpha Centauri, Rigel 7, or Saturn type aliens. She is very aware of my logical thought process. "OK, let's hear it....
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Sep 2, 2010, 12:09 pm
Oh nuts!!!!...and fruits!!!! Leonard and Sheldon are two squirrels who visit my bird feeder on a daily basis. A daily basis? I should say on an hourly basis.I am at wits end. I know! I know! A short trip!!!I have tried everything. They are winning!!!!They get on my patio, hop up the 3 steps, s...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Aug 25, 2010, 4:24 pm
Inside every old person there is a young Person wondering what to hell happened? Life is good. The problem is it is backwards. Woody Allen wrote something that totally makes sense. It is called "Next Life" In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get tha...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Aug 16, 2010, 1:26 pm
Misadventures in Living Healthy I went to my doctor's appointment a few days ago. We chatted about various subjects including my health. He is very chatty and I was his first appointment of the day. Things seem to go really well. I scheduled my next appointment.On the way home I was reviewing my con...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Aug 10, 2010, 6:29 pm
My internet friends I have been kind of busy lately. I am trying to catch up on my email. unlike some people I answer all my email. Well, let's see what we have here:I have another letter from my friend, Mikey. He lives in Nigeria. His real name is Barrister Michael Okubu. We are pen pals. email...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Aug 1, 2010, 9:18 am
I decided not to go quietly!!! I am starting a support group. It seems obvious to me that these young whippersnappers (people under 60) are conspiring against us. They are changing everything I care about. I want everything to be like the late 50's.These revisionist must be democrats. A Tea Par...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jul 9, 2010, 10:03 am
Headline: Queen is now a great grandmother.Yikes!!!! Can someone pull the plug on that gene pool? I am sure the family is gathered around little prince or princess and cooing and making funny faces at the kid. I am sure the kid is screaming because the people's faces are scaring him. He doesn't re...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jul 8, 2010, 11:52 am
Misadventures without Caffeine My wife and I are not morning people. We will go to great length to avoid anything or anyone until we have two cups of strong coffee slapping our nervous system. People who have been to our home before coffee refer to us as "the zombies" and have referred to our home ...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jul 6, 2010, 12:47 pm
Welcome Senior citizens and other pathological liars. It has been my experience through the years that if a person works diligently at it they can become a very accomplished truth embellisher. This is not to be confused with a truth varnisher. The difference seems obvious but I will define the dif...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jun 11, 2010, 8:15 am
I have heard people talking about their bucket list a lot lately. I guess this means "to die". I am guessing this comes from the expression "kick the bucket".I find this expression highly disrespectful. I am kinda leaning towards " Dustbiters" myself. I could have Queen sing "Another one bites the d...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - Jun 3, 2010, 11:19 am
My degree came in the mail today!!!!! After reading the newspaper thoroughly for the last couple weeks, I decided it was time for me to come out of retirement. I am needed. I can embellish the truth, spin it around, dress it all up and call it a fact. I can do this!!! It is a well known fact: If yo...
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Jon posted an article on Life philosophy 101 for the squirrelly senior citizen - May 26, 2010, 12:38 pm
HOW ARE YOU DOING? Lately I have come up with a lot of ideas for blogging. I just don't feel like writing about them right now. I don't have writer's block. I have writer's malaise. There are a lot of distractions in my life right now. I have eight blogs in the draft column right now. Since I...
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