Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Feb 10, 2012, 4:36 am
FIRSTLY, apologies for the late update - my computer is less reliable than Fabio Capello these days. Secondly, watch me go - Goaltastic's 'house' team Ashletico is once again on the up, moving into forth place, making me the highest mover of the week. Forget Harry Redknapp - Goaltastic for England...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Feb 2, 2012, 11:40 am
SOME big, big scores were posted in the Goaltastic League this week - with the top two maintaining the status quo. Moving on up in the top 10 this week are Debbie Does Gallas (3), Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (7) and The Boss XI (9). Special mentions must also go to the teams which posted 90+ scores - Hut...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 29, 2012, 5:48 pm
RISING star Eden Hazard has flashed a warning to his current employers that he's heading to England. While ruling out a January move from French club Lille as the Ligue 1 side are currently in the title race, Hazard has pledged to move to the Premier League this summer. In an interview with Canal+...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 28, 2012, 3:38 am
SINCE taking over the reins at QPR, Mark Hughes has been by far the most active manager this January Transfer Window. The Welshman has already bought in Nedum Onuoha and Taye Taiwo as well as Federico Macheda on loan, with rumours of more players heading in before February 1. And one of the rumour...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 23, 2012, 3:43 pm
A GAMEWEEK of mixed fortunes has caused plenty of movement in the Goaltastic League. The top three - Bangkok Foxes (1), Canons Ablaze (2), and Ashletico (3) - stay as they are. But the likes of StooshermadnessFC (4), Ninja Avengers (7) and Wolfmans Brother (8) rise with big scores in the 60s and 7...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 21, 2012, 6:10 pm
PREMIERSHIP pah. While the Premier League plodded on today around the country on a cold, wet, windy day, the African Cup of Nations alos kicked off, in the slighter sunnier climes of Equatorial Guinea and Gabon. Co-hosts Guinea - a massive underdog - stole a deserved 1-0 win over Libya, while Zam...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 17, 2012, 5:52 pm
HEAVY metal fan and former best goalkeeper in the world Marcus Hahnemann has recorded a track with rock band Malefice. For Jägermeister's latest 'Ice Cold' Studio Session - where rock bands and icons meet for the first time in a recording studio and 'break the ice' by working on a track together -...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 17, 2012, 5:32 pm
ANOTHER close gameweek sees the top teams in the Goaltastic League - Bangkok Foxes (1), Canons Ablaze (2) and Ashletico (3) - maintaining their places. Below them Trad Bricks rises up to fourth, while Ninja Avengers (9), Dobie Wanderers (12), Unreal Madrid (15), Hersham Boys (16), My 11 (17) and Ce...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 12, 2012, 5:15 pm
THE coach of German side Hannover 96 has asked his players to complete a psychological survey to find out their hidden desires. The voluntary quiz, issued by Mirko Slomka, asks the Bundesliga players to grade 128 statements such as "I am what you could call sexually unrestrained"; "I want any sex I...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 12, 2012, 4:24 am
TAKE a bow, Herman Athletic. Despite sitting in a lowly 74th place, the squad scored a whopping 111 points, the only three figure total posted this Gameweek. Plenty of other teams posted high totals in a round of matches, effectively cancelling each other out - with no movement inside the top nine...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 10, 2012, 4:27 am
FIFA have named their World XI this week in a star-studded ceremony. And as I'm sure you can guess it contains Lionel Messi - who also won the best player award, for the third year on the trot. Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola was named best coach, while Brazilian team Santos' star Neymar scored the P...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 8, 2012, 10:00 am
TODAY'S humdinger of an FA Cup tie between Manchester United and Manchester City was not short of talking points. Was the Red Devils' 3-2 win down to Kompany's red card? Was Kompany's challenge worthy of a red? Was it a penalty? Should there have been two more penalties? Can Manchester United us...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 7, 2012, 4:22 pm
PRICKLY midfielder Joey Barton has threatened to call an end to his virtual football management career - after arguing with himself. QPR player Barton has tweeted his annoyance with Football Manager 2012, for two different reasons - he has complained his own vital statistics are inaccurate, but com...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 4, 2012, 5:14 pm
THINGS went so well tonight for Newcastle United, with a three goal Premier League win over a hapless Manchester United side, that they had the luxury of throwing on former Manchester United winger Gabriel Obertan. Now Obertan hasn't proved himself not to be equally hapless as his former side since...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 1, 2012, 5:34 pm
THE gameweeks keep coming thick and fast, and league leader Bangkok Foxes keeps on rising to the challege - with an overall points tally higher than its overall rank! Fifth placed Trad Bricks is the first mover in the league - whose rise pushes StooshermadnessFC (6) and Kirk United (7) down in the ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Jan 1, 2012, 10:52 am
DESPITE the fact that today's 1-0 away win for Everton over West Brom may have been a great advert for not watching the football with a hangover, it did give viewers the chance to have a good look at peripheral Everton striker Denis Straqualursi. Not to witness the Argentinean's gutsy style or gung...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Nov 3, 2011, 10:33 am
TALKS with an unnamed "new club manager" by Leicester City have caused the postponement of a trip to LOROS hospice - leading to speculation of an announcement coming soon. Although no name has been released by the club, a statement of the postponement of the event released by the Leicester charity ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Nov 2, 2011, 11:10 am
KIRK United (1) and Debbie Does Gallas (2) maintan their placings at the top of the league this week - but nearly all of the rest of the top 10 are climbers. Places three-nine - Unreal Madrid, Ninja Avengers, Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf, Ashletico, Alien Resurrection, CescforBarca and joint ninth Taurages...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Nov 2, 2011, 3:26 am
IN TWO instances last night, referees failed to apply the letter of the law over goal celebrations - and Goaltastic applauds them for this. In their 3-1 loss to MIddlesbrough, Doncaster Rovers striker Billy Sharp removed his shirt after scoring the game's opener. Underneath he wore a shirt saying ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Nov 1, 2011, 11:15 am
... rapid start to this campaign before the shuddering derby defeat to Manchester ... only other United player listed for the award is Nani, who won his club's players' player of the year prize ... fans will be delighted at the recognition afforded to Aguero, they ... omission. European champi...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 27, 2011, 1:33 pm
AN OLDHAM Athletic fan is being hunted after a barney with a mascot led to them assaulting the giant owl. Chaddy The Owl's feathers were ruffled by one of the Latics' own fans before kick off at Tuesday's League One match at Preston North End. Chaddy was reportedly "shaken up" by the incident. La...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 25, 2011, 11:30 am
SOME big scores and some distinctly average ones pepper the Goaltastic league this week - with a new leader. The teams that backed the right teams this week - after both Chelsea and Manchester United faltered - did some impressive work climbing the rankings, topped by Sir Steve Kirk's Kirk United. ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 19, 2011, 3:24 am
TWO teams trumped table-topping VZ Vampires to give the league a new first and a new second placed squad. Debbie Does Gallas, managed by one of last season's strongerst competitors Andy Forscutt, is now league leader after a 48-point gameweek, followed by Kirk United in second. Also in the top 10 ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 14, 2011, 5:11 am
ENGLAND fans may have noticed that England talisman Wayne Rooney has been slapped with a three match ban - effectively ruling him out of the group stages of next summer's European Championships. Talk is rife that as a result the short-tempered striker should be dropped for the tournament by Fabio C...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 13, 2011, 6:08 am
ASTON Villa fans, I have a sinking feeling for you... Villa boss Alex McLeish is planning on playing lumbering ex-England striker Emile Heskey as a central defender. McLeish has been gushing over the goal-shy forward's ability, likening him to German legend Franz Beckenbaur. McLeish said: "We now...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 12, 2011, 11:03 am
FANS of Brazilian outfit Palmeiras attacked their own team's players over their side's losing streak. The eight-times champions of Brazil are currently ninth in the league, and as a result fans turned on midfielder Joao Vitor after he decided to visit the stadium shop. Police say he was punched an...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 11, 2011, 5:41 pm
A GERMAN referee demanded an identical twin be substituted before he would officiate the match. In an amateur clash involving TSV Sackenbach, man in black Reinhold Bieberich reportedly refused to allow the second half to kick off after the club brought on identical twins Luke and Felix Termathe - c...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 5, 2011, 12:34 pm
I WAS watching classic '80s blockbuster Clash of the Titans the other day when it occurred to me that squishy faced troublemaker Calibos looks a whole lot like squishy faced troublemaker Neil Warnock. Whaddya reckon?
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 5, 2011, 12:12 pm
FULHAM manager Martin Jol has been ruffling feathers with his hard line recently, fining a teenage player for missing a spotkick - and now it has emerged that Jol has fined himself over the incident as well. Swiss midfielder Pajtim Kasami missed a penalty against Chelsea in the Carling Cup, and Jol...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 4, 2011, 3:37 am
TWO over-excited Bayern Munich fans - or under-stimulated, perhaps - were thrown out of their team's tie with Hoffenheim for having sex in the stands. The German couple were caught indulging in a bit of slap and tickle in the capacity crowd during the first half and stopped by stewards. But after ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 3, 2011, 3:16 pm
... . The forward has said the musical Grease is the word in his household - as well as revealing a penchant for Hairspray and Dreamgirls as well. He said: "It's a bit weird but I love Grease. It's a great film. I love watching musicals. "I think it's one of those films you never get tired of wa...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Oct 3, 2011, 11:49 am
VZ VAMPIRES - as is has been pointed out to me on Twitter - go into the international break top of the tree, making it three weeks at number one. However Unreal Madrid (2) and Debbie Does Gallas (3) both make up ground on them, reaching for the sweet, sweet reward of top spot like De Gea in a dough...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 27, 2011, 12:05 pm
VZ VAMPIRES sunk their teeth into top spot last week, and after a relatively muted gameweek they're still sitting pretty at the top of the Goaltastic Fantasy Football League. A score of 64 is enough to shoot Stooshermadness FC up to second spot, while other climbers in the top 10 include St Hatrick...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 26, 2011, 2:09 pm
WHAT'S worse than losing 3-0 to your former club at half-time? Injuring yourself punching a wall in frustration, that's what. Luton Town midfielder Alex Lawless did just that during their recent match with York - meaning he couldn't take to the field for the second half as he had broken his own ha...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 26, 2011, 2:30 am
ARSENAL'S stuttering stars have credited their upturn in fortune on a togetherness forged on the heat of the dancefloor. Striker Robin van Persie - who scored a brace in a 3-0 win over Bolton Wanderers - revealed the unlikely source of team bonding in an interview. He says the sense of team spirit...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 24, 2011, 3:53 am
SUPERSTAR footballers representing the Great Britain Olympic team, possibly including household names such as David Beckham and Gareth Bale, could be headed for Loughborough. It has been revealed that despite playing across the country, Team GB footballers will spend at least some of next summer's ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 23, 2011, 9:28 am
GOALTASTIC loves a mascot. So we naturally have gone ape over the news that the official mascot of the 2012 Orange Africa Cup of Nations was unveiled at a ceremony in Libreville, Gabon, last week. The mascot, a gorilla named GaGuie, wears a green, white and blue jersey to represent the national co...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 22, 2011, 11:26 am
IN LIEU of a shirt sponsor as they press ahead with the Spanish season, Valencia took to the field against Barcelona with their Twitter name on their shirts. As they club is yet to secure a shirt sponsor, their players instead drew 2-2 with Barca with their @valenciacf tag across their chests. Sha...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 21, 2011, 2:35 am
AFTER trouble with fans, two Turkish clubs were ordered to play in front of a crowd of women and children. Under new regulations imposed by the Turkish FA, instead of playing out matches in empty stadiums men aged over 12 are banned if crowd trouble occurs. And after Fenerbache fans stormed the pi...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 20, 2011, 2:40 am
MONEYBAGS Russians Anzhi Makhachkala are continuing on their quest to sign up all the star players from Football Manager 2006 by raiding the Premier League for midfielders Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard. The club, who recently added Samuel Eto'o as the world's highest-paid player to a roster alre...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 19, 2011, 3:37 pm
ANIMAL-loving England and Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand has had a beaver hide planned into a new £3.5m home. If planning consent is granted for the development in The Cotswolds, the footballer will be able to peer at a colony of the water-dwelling rodents living nearby from a special bu...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 19, 2011, 9:00 am
MORE flux sees a new team, VZ Vampires, topping the Goaltastic table. In fact this gameweek sees just one team in the top ten, fourth placed Debbie Does Gallas, and just six teams overall, remaining in the same place. High placing climbers this week include Unreal Madrid (3), Blue Moon Rising (5),...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 19, 2011, 2:29 am
AS I drifted off watching last night's Match Of The Day 2, a strange image awoke me from my slumber. Carlos Tevez... with a beard? That's right, the Argetinean used his Manchester City cameo in the dying moments of the 2-2 draw with Fulham to showcase a shock of jet black facial hair. Is this sym...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 14, 2011, 11:45 am
A PROFESSIONAL footballer has made a new career using his tackle - by becoming a gay porn star. Former Belgian professional footballer Jonathan de Falco, formerly of Racing Mechelen and Oud-Heverlee Leuven, has assumed the name Stany Falcone to follow his dream of becoming a gay porn star. The 26-...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 13, 2011, 8:54 am
ANOTHER point-soaked Fantasy Football gameweek has seen some impressive scores posted and a new leader topping the table. Both new leader Scott Telfer's Telfs FC and new second placed squad VZ Vampires were agonisingly close to triple figures - notching 99 apiece. A few other teams also climbed up...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 11, 2011, 6:09 am
HANDS-on Dad Rio Ferdinand is set to 'ask Jeeves' by hiring a butler. The England and Manchester United defender has shunned home help such as nannies, instead bringing up his three children with wife Rebecca. But now the 32-year-old wants to bring in a butler to free up time to spend with his chi...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 10, 2011, 6:52 am
A SIXTEEN-year-old striker made his senior debut last weekend - and shot his way into the record books as the youngest ever goalscorer in the FA Cup. At 16 years and 25 days old, Barrow Town forward Sean Cato hadn't been expecting to be named on the bench, let alone be brought on in the second half...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 8, 2011, 3:27 am
EAST Midlands lower league team Notts County take on Italian giants Juventus tonight in a friendly to inaugurate their new stadium. Despite their contrasting fortunes, Juventus have an emotional tie to Notts County. They used the world's oldest professional club's black-and-white striped shirts as ...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 7, 2011, 3:14 pm
TWO half-Filipino footballers were discovered on the books of Chelsea's youth set-up by a PlayStation player - leading to the pair earning international caps. Now Beckham-esque stars in the South East Asian nation where they both play for Loyola Agila FC, the Younghusband brothers were plucked from...
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Isaac Ashe posted an article on Goaltastic - Sep 6, 2011, 4:36 pm
SEE, stress - it was missing in Bulgaria, but it was in clear evidence at Wembley this evening. England, a clear 100-plus world rankings higher than Wales, shouldn't neccesarily have thrashed their neighbours, but it should have been easier than it was. In the end 1-0 will do, and Euro qualificati...
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