Into The System

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Latest Activity

EAP Therapy…

Into The System posted an article on - Dec 8, 2009, 9:33 am
I’m still not able to face the draft I started the other day, but here’s hoping I can try and complete a post for once. In my last proper post I mentioned the EAP and the fact I was being...
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Blogging Twit…

Into The System posted an article on - Dec 7, 2009, 11:47 am
Blogging seems to have been replaced by twitter lately. I can just about manage 140 characters at the moment, but proper blog posts are a little hard. Hence the fact I’m writing about twitter, r...
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Started a Draft…

Into The System posted an article on - Dec 3, 2009, 4:41 pm
…but just can’t face finishing it right now. I am really struggling at the moment. I can’t convey how things are, because I’m not sure I even know myself. I just feel complete...
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Waste of Time…

Into The System posted an article on - Nov 24, 2009, 12:31 pm
So I saw Dr D today for the second time. My social worker came in with me, along with a junior doctor who looked about 12. I didn’t know where to start. I had taken some notes with me which hel...
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Doctors and EAPs…

Into The System posted an article on - Nov 23, 2009, 6:07 am
I saw Dr N on Thursday. It was good to have him back. I wasn’t really with it at the appointment. I couldn’t focus and didn’t know what to say. I have felt pretty numb over the past...
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The ECT Experience…

Into The System posted an article on - Nov 17, 2009, 7:44 am
Whilst I was having ECT I never really wrote about it. I was in hospital with only mobile access to the Internet. I was exhausted, often in pain and not really in the mood for writing. Recently though...
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*Sigh*…

Into The System posted an article on - Nov 17, 2009, 6:19 am
I don’t really know what to say. I have posts I want to write about specific topics, but I don’t know where to start. Head is a bit fried really and I’m just so unbelievably exhauste...
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Recovery, Scoring and ESA…

Into The System posted an article on - Nov 8, 2009, 4:47 pm
It’s been a strange week really. I seem to have spent the week being confronted with the fact I’m still a lot more ill than I thought I was. On Wednesday I had an appointment with Dr B. H...
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Stream of Conciousness…

Into The System posted an article on - Nov 1, 2009, 10:49 am
I started this post on Monday, but didn’t get time to finish it. It’s now Sunday! I don’t know where my weeks are going. I keep snatching five, ten minutes or so to write, but it tak...
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Freedom is regret…

Into The System posted an article on - Oct 20, 2009, 4:03 pm
I’ve had the New Post page open all day, yet I’ve still not written anything. It is weeks since I last wrote a proper post. I still have a lot I want to say, but the words just aren’...
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Mind Spinning…

Into The System posted an article on - Oct 10, 2009, 8:12 am
I have so many potential blog posts spinning around my head. So much I want to get out of here. I keep seeing things I want to comment on and I just don’t seem to have the time or the means to a...
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No more driving…

Into The System posted an article on - Oct 3, 2009, 10:59 am
So today I finally got the letter. You may remember I had to notify the DVLA about my condition. My license has been revoked. I have to return my license in the next week and will not be able to reapp...
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Discharge…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 30, 2009, 2:13 pm
So it is official. I am being discharged from The Priory by Dr G. I contacted her yesterday about the outcomes of my NHS appointment and her secretary called me back to say she will sort out the disch...
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Pathways to Work…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 29, 2009, 8:31 am
A couple of days ago I got a letter from the local jobcentre asking me to come in for a “Pathways to Work” interview in two weeks time. The Pathways to Work scheme is designed to get peopl...
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ESA Medical…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 24, 2009, 4:11 pm
I know I’m updating a lot all of a sudden, but I guess there are things I want to document this week. My talkative mood is probably helping too. I made it to my medical this afternoon. I am so ...
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Limited Capability for Work?…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 24, 2009, 5:15 am
A little less agitated than yesterday evening at the moment, but I’ve had a terrible night’s sleep. I was very wound up all night and couldn’t keep still. My head was flying all over...
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A little speedy…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 23, 2009, 3:25 pm
What’s this? Another post! My mood today has been strange. I woke up this morning with my head racing, thoughts flying all over the place, a preoccupation with work and a desire to do a million...
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NHS Psychiatrist…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 22, 2009, 6:02 am
Bloody hell, the CMHT is in a weird and slightly scary location. The building is a dilapidated old school on a council estate, with rusty railings and dodgy damp portacabins. It was in one of these ca...
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A long week…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 21, 2009, 3:34 pm
A lot has happened in the past week. I kept meaning to write, but time got away from me. I saw Dr G last Tuesday and was disappointed. It was a fairly pointless appointment. I did mention my dip in m...
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Creative Remedies…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 14, 2009, 2:35 pm
So I started at Creative Remedies today in the performing arts group. There was an interesting mix of people, not all with mental health problems and an awful lot of staff. It was the first week after...
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Tiresome…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 11, 2009, 8:11 am
Another week has passed and I’ve not written again. I don’t know where all the time goes. On Monday someone came from Birmingham University to interview me for Mood Disorder research. It ...
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Mad Men…

Into The System posted an article on - Sep 3, 2009, 4:25 pm
Again it has been 10 days since I last wrote. I don’t know where the days have gone. I saw Dr N last Thursday. Just a routine appointment to pick up my scripts, but it was good to talk. He aske...
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My story…

Into The System posted an article on - Aug 23, 2009, 6:27 pm
I’ve spent the last hour or so going through my archives and highlighting the key posts that tell my story. I have been meaning to do this for a while. I’d realised that anyone coming here...
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Short Pause…

Into The System posted an article on - Aug 23, 2009, 11:34 am
It’s been 10 days since I last posted. Each time I keep thinking I should start writing more often again, but it doesn’t seem to happen. The gaps seem to get larger, not smaller. I often ...
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Disappearing Posts…

Into The System posted an article on - Aug 13, 2009, 6:36 am
Some of you may have noticed that my posts disappeared yesterday for a while. My bloke and I had an argument and in order to hurt me, he signed into here and deleted my blog. Thankfully he had the nou...
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Urgh…

Into The System posted an article on - Aug 12, 2009, 11:31 am
I feel awful. I don’t know why, but my mood has dropped like a stone. I saw Dr G this afternoon. I didn’t really know what to say to her. I just said that my week had been “more of ...
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Anger…

Into The System posted an article on - Aug 10, 2009, 3:50 pm
This is something I’m really ashamed about. Over the past few weeks I’ve been agitated and struggling to manage my anger. Worse still, I’ve often resorted to violence. I have been af...
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Appointment Letter…

Into The System posted an article on - Aug 10, 2009, 8:44 am
It came! It came! Would you believe it? I am finally going to see an NHS psychiatrist, only 6 months after I was referred to her. The appointment isn’t until 22nd September, which seems like age...
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Days pass by…

Into The System posted an article on - Jul 30, 2009, 8:26 am
I’ve been wanting to write for days now, but not got around to it. Things keep coming up or I get distracted. I saw Dr N on Friday. It was the first time I’d seen him in weeks. First ther...
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More Evidence…

Into The System posted an article on - Jul 23, 2009, 11:34 am
Some of you may remember my post on Trichotillomania which I made a couple of weeks ago. In it I referred to this BBC article which mentions some research into the use of N-acetylcysteine (NAC) for th...
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Trying to talk…

Into The System posted an article on - Jul 16, 2009, 2:31 pm
I have struggled to write this week. I have sat and stared at the screen many times, but failed to pull anything together. Twice this week I’ve brought up the problems that I mentioned in this ...
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Not so good…

Into The System posted an article on - Jul 11, 2009, 4:16 pm
I’m not so good at the moment. I can feel the suicidality brewing and I don’t feel able to, or particularly want to stop it. I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t remember wh...
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