Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 25, 2009, 1:00 am
So, for some pre-Thanksgiving fun, I thought we here at Of Cabbages and Kings would play a giveaway game. Right now, Yours Truly is flying off for Turkey Day festivities to the Sunshine State. And be...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 23, 2009, 6:30 am
Thanksgiving: food... Fellowship... 30 people crammed into a dining room the size of a shoebox, half of them with food allergies, though none of them the exact same ones... The potential for someone ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 19, 2009, 2:00 pm
Facebook's starting to sound like dear old Mom. In its deep desire for us all to be happy and connected (and feed lonely farm animals), Facebook has developed a Suggestions sidebar-- --Or what I ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 18, 2009, 5:42 am
My bud Scoobie and I have discovered an unmet marketing need. When stepping into one of these big-box mega hardware stores, we've decided each layman-- unskilled in the mysterious ways of "fixed w...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 16, 2009, 6:00 am
"It's the thought that counts." That's what adults tell kids about gift-giving after they've unwrapped the seventh annual itchy, orange knit sweater with a kitten appliqued on it from Grea...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 13, 2009, 6:30 am
Who is the single hardest working individual online today? It must be the unflappable.... the infamous... the ever-present... Anonymous. Anyone who has a blog, a web site, or a forum knows him well....
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 10, 2009, 2:30 am
Who can you depend on, to stand strong in the fight against injustice, untruthiness and pricey shoe rentals?... The Injustice League, that's who! Pre-approved and properly-insured A-list superher...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 9, 2009, 6:30 am
There are two places I go regularly where the customer service is protected by a plexiglass fishtank. Now, you'd think one of these would be the bank, right? The one place where we all expect to ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 6, 2009, 6:30 am
Jack Tripper: Klutz... Swingin' single... Staunch supporter of the Velour tracksuit... Up-and-coming chef.... And knife-wielding serial killer prowling for California's most beautiful blonds?...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 4, 2009, 6:30 am
Regular readers of Of Cabbages and Kings know our beloved mascot, Old King Cole Slaw, as a devil-may-care online adventurer, raconteur, skilled dancer, and otherwise leafy wonder. But did you also kn...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Nov 2, 2009, 7:00 am
The woman was packed into her black Victorian dress, her hair piled high, bearing plumes that bobbed like an exotic bird looking to attract another exotic bird for an afternoon of passion and seed. A...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 30, 2009, 6:30 am
Have you ever used those self-checkout registers in stores? Ever notice that sometimes they're completely misinformed about what you've bought, how it's pronounced, and whether it's e...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 27, 2009, 1:00 pm
(As part of the Humor Bloggers Halloween Humor Carnival) T'was the night before Samhain and all through the mall The zombies, they found it a great human haul All hungry they'd tripped to thi...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 26, 2009, 6:30 am
Did you know...? The amount of beverage you consume while writing is inversely proportionate to how unmotivated you are. A writer experiencing serious writer's block can consume up to three two-li...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 23, 2009, 6:30 am
Call it the entrepreneurial nature of youth. Or desperation. Call it a laziness that meant I didn't have to drag my 13-year-old butt down gray Jersey streets for hours, alone, in the bleak autumn ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 21, 2009, 6:30 am
They mesmerize me. I cannot look away. They are unnatural. They move as one. I watch his character Sylar steal the powers of yet another "Hero" and I find I am strangely ambivalent to their dire fate....
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 19, 2009, 7:00 am
The green, gruesome, disembodied head hovers over the palace room, shouting, "Who dares seek the Great and Powerful O--" The booming voice breaks off. A synthesized version of Elton's "Goodbye Ye...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 16, 2009, 6:30 am
"This is your local pharmacy," said the robotic male voice on the other end of the line, cheer radiating from its diodes. "Our records show that you have a prescription that needs to be refilled. Wou...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 14, 2009, 6:30 am
The Death Star... The. Death. Star. ®. I'm pretty sure Darth Vader didn't brainstorm with marketing, HR, and Emperor Palpatine on naming ideas. It never would have gotten final approval. I...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 12, 2009, 6:30 am
When I was a kid, I pretty much wanted to be anyone but me. I still do some days, only now it's somewhat less socially-acceptable for me to tell people my name is, say, Daisy Duke. It was my poor...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 9, 2009, 6:30 am
Your one eye is closed just enough to give you a vague, Popeye-esque aura. Your hair--which you're sure was in place when you'd arrived-- has managed to spring aloft, in a fine Gorgonian trad...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 7, 2009, 6:30 am
Of Cabbages and Kings Gazette-Post-Tribune-Press by Shannon Maydup UPPER PODUNK, MO-- Mary "The Homemaker" Johnson was taken into custody today, believed to be the Facebook Mafia Queenpin responsible...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 5, 2009, 6:39 am
The wallet was tell-tale. Slim, black, velcro and bearing the word "KISS" in jagged letters. My friend Raoul had been here. And as this was the third time I'd retrieved that flea market KISS walle...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Oct 2, 2009, 6:46 am
Eyes... so many, many eyes. That's what I remember most. Yes, when I was a kid, in the center of the block between my house and that of my Great-Aunt Bess was a distinctive home. Not for its arc...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 30, 2009, 6:30 am
"I wonder, if you go jogging, it makes that 'Eh-eh-eh-eh-cha-cha-cha-cha' noise." It was the first thing I thought when I saw the ad for the Lee Majors Rechargable Bionic Hearing Aid. And whi...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 28, 2009, 6:29 am
Remember the old days when spammers just used robots to spread their life-changing messages of tungsten wedding rings, all-natural erectile dysfunction drugs, conspiracy theories, and Nigerian princes...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 25, 2009, 6:30 am
Nature: I embrace its mind-boggling beauty and awe-inspiring wonder. I cannot embrace its many legs, multiple eyeballs, and parts that go "chomp." I mean, if I go to a zoo and spot a furry tarantula...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 23, 2009, 6:30 am
Dawn! It crept over the Pittsburgh horizon like a wise and careful mouse, slipping stealthily over the slopes and wriggling around the buildings of my post-college neighborhood with hungry, all-encomp...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 21, 2009, 7:00 am
Since when did setting up a television suddenly become more complex than executing the plot of an elaborate caper film? Yet that's what I discovered this weekend when what I thought would be a si...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 18, 2009, 7:00 am
"I'm too sexy for my Snuggie... too sexy for my Snuggie..."This past Wednesday, those infomercial winter warmers, Snuggie slankets, stepped into the spotlight in their first runway fashion show an...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 16, 2009, 6:53 am
Hell is experiencing a light frost. Dogs and cats are finalizing their Anti-Animosity Treaty. And sharks have voted on it and decided to go vegan... Yes, the world is topsy-turvy, and the impossible ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 14, 2009, 6:43 am
It wasn't exactly a phrase I ever expected to say in 15th century Europe: "Um, could you tell me if there's a pay phone around here I could use?" But given my electric horseless carriage had ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 11, 2009, 6:30 am
It's hard to believe, but as of today, I've officially been blogging for three years. Yep, newborns have grown into full-fledged, "NO!"-proclaiming humans in the time my first blog has been a ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 9, 2009, 11:43 am
It has reached the attention of Of Cabbages and Kings that an unfortunate segment of our population is experiencing regular shame, degradation and physical abuse, all in the name of celebratory amusem...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 8, 2009, 4:35 am
Holidays: uniting people with common DNA, under the rented pavilion of blind hope, thick, creamy guilt, and pickled eggs. Yet in every family gathering, there seem to be some common players--- person...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 4, 2009, 6:00 am
I'm not precisely sure when it happened, but our entertainment industry has gone embryonic. It transformed from 40s films like It's a Wonderful Life, where Jimmy Stewart played a teenager who...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Sep 2, 2009, 6:00 am
Flashbacks... Flash forwards... Flash sidewayses, fer Pete's sake... Deja vu and deja vatthefrickisgoingon... A day or so ago, members of BlogCatalog began a thread asking questions about the mys...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 31, 2009, 6:46 am
Tobagganing... Triathalons... Guinness World Chewing Gum Records... Competitive, yes. But like a one-player game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos compared to the heavy, brow-sweating, heart-pounding competiti...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 28, 2009, 6:00 am
Advertising. It makes us laugh... It forces us to order dishes using words we'd never actually say outside of an antihistamine-induced coma ("Rooty-Tooty Fresh and Fruity" anyone?)... And because...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 26, 2009, 4:00 am
On Friday, when we last left the two-dimensional city of BurghTown, it was being taken over by that Sultan of Sickness... that Demon of Disease... BurghTown's Number One Crime Boss, Influ Enzo. B...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 24, 2009, 6:00 am

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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 21, 2009, 2:00 am
The City of BurghTown... When last we left our heroine Back-up Girl, she'd been hit hard by the Godfather of Gross-- Influ Enzo and his mob family. Right now they're pestilentially plotting ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 19, 2009, 6:00 am
The City of BurghTown... Home to the one superhero city residents call when the really important crime-fighters all have something better to do: Yes, that's right-- Back-up Girl!... Ah, but wha...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 17, 2009, 5:24 am
The flu. Oh, how I have it. And it tends to put a rather unique perspective on life. After three days of the flu, your world goes from deadlines and hustle-bustle and highways to somewhat more modest ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 14, 2009, 6:00 am
The tomato sauce would run like a rolling red, anti-oxidant river... The spaghetti would twine like the flaxen hair of trumpeting angels... The wine would flow like the vats of jolly Bacchus on a be...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 12, 2009, 6:00 am
Supernatural phenomena normally steered pretty clear of Mr. Gardner's eighth grade social studies class. Maybe it thought it could do more good on the dodgeball court, where some of us needed all...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 10, 2009, 6:00 am
Ladies: Are you tired of going on dates and then finding yourself stuck in the middle of a zombie outbreak? Sure, that fashionable purse is great for holding a lipstick and some cash. But it just can...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 7, 2009, 6:00 am
"A rat! Aiiieeeee, it's a rat! A giant, huge, hideous, disease-carrying rat!" a ten-year-old me shrieked and ran into the house breaking the land-speed record for a single-jet, corn-flake-powered ...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 5, 2009, 6:00 am
In college, I fractured my wrist in an unlucky Research Procurement Clash. (Okay, somebody accidentally hit me with a four-inch-thick, metal library door.) And ever since then, things like girlie pus...
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Jenn T. posted an article on Of Cabbages and Kings - Aug 3, 2009, 6:00 am

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