John Lindauer

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Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

John Lindauer Nov 21, 2009, 12:34 am
he's a vampire.
she's a girl.
he's a werewolf.
she's a girl.
HIS fangs are a huge turn on, but she's grown weary of all the moping.

now she's drawn to HIS musk - but yearns to shave his back hair. what will happen???????

SWEET MERCIFUL GOD! WHAT WILL HAPPEN!??? I MUST KNOW!!
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No American President Ever Bowed to a Foreign Leader

John Lindauer Nov 17, 2009, 9:40 am
what the picture doesn't show: three seconds later, the aging emperor of japan bowed just as low.

obama observes local customs. does anyone really care?
John Lindauer Nov 18, 2009, 9:55 pm
i hope he does. they killed innocent people. he'd chop their heads off.
John Lindauer Nov 21, 2009, 12:26 am
guys. WWII is over. they tortured and mutilated. we nuked them. 60 years ago.

if you're still holding a grudge now... there will never be peace, anywhere, ever.

i don't hate the japanese. they seem like decent people. i'm sure i would've felt differently. 60 years ago.

i try to remember that the history channel is just that: THE HISTORY CHANNEL.

Are you mad at the romans? they killed jesus.

Are you mad at ghengis khan? he probably killed you great great great great great great great great great great great grandmother?

c'mon. don't be silly.
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Poll: Majority of Republicans Don't Think Obama Won 2008 Election

John Lindauer Nov 21, 2009, 12:22 am
sore losers. crybabies. racists. and the willfully ignorant. (which part of the "land of the free and the home of the brave do they fall under?")
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Palin Booed By Book Tour Crowd

John Lindauer Nov 20, 2009, 9:00 pm
oh fickle mob.
why do you forsake me?
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Palin Slams 'Sexist' Newsweek Cover

John Lindauer Nov 17, 2009, 9:33 pm
hilarious. she was so worried about the photo that she didn't bother to read the headline.

funny thing is, now she has to run.

oh well. i wonder who the republicans will dig up for 2016?
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Three Tramps Kill And Eat A Man

John Lindauer Nov 16, 2009, 5:01 pm
she was delicious, your honor. no really. quite juicy... with a flavor reminiscent of lamb with just a dash of mint. succulent and mothery.

ewe.
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Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's Criminal Trial May Shine Light on Roots of Terrorism

John Lindauer Nov 16, 2009, 4:56 pm
only from zee neck up. i think, after the initial shock of the thing, people will be glad we're doing this.
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Bill Belichick's 4th-and-2 Call Against Colts Debated, Derided

John Lindauer Nov 16, 2009, 4:58 pm
in a career as long and awesome as his, i think he'll bounce back.
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AARP To Endorse House Health Care Bill

John Lindauer Nov 4, 2009, 7:13 pm
the only people against this just haven't thought it through.

remember how much people hated the Massachusetts' Plan when it first came on line??

At... first NOBODY liked the cost.

But after one year, EVERYONE knew someone who had benefited strongly from the service.

After two years, EVERYONE had actually used the service. They started realizing how much money they were saving - and began smiling quietly to themselves.

Now, a few years later, they are beaming. A recent poll in Massachusetts shows that it is BELOVED by 72% of Massachusetts citizens.

that's how it'll go down with this plan.
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Bill Keller: Apple Tablet 'Impending'

John Lindauer Oct 26, 2009, 11:56 am
this will save newspapers. go NYTimes!
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Ann Coulter Claims That All Presidential Assassinations Were Committed by "Left Wing Loons"

John Lindauer Oct 26, 2009, 8:48 am
i think all the big assassinations were engineered by J. Edgar Hoover.

he hated the kennedys because Big Joe was once a Bootlegger; and he hated MLK, Malcolm X and others because he considered them to be communists.

remember: the streak of successful political assissinations finally ended when LBJ finally ejected Jay Edgar as head of the FBI.

since then, there have been many attempts...

but non have succeeded.

DUMM DUMM DUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM!
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Sarah Palin Defends "Death Panels" Statement on Health Care, Challenges Obama

John Lindauer Sep 23, 2009, 11:40 pm
till they pass health insurance reform.
John Lindauer Sep 24, 2009, 1:36 pm
i find that most "attacks" (personally or politically) are always the pot calling the kettle black.

the republicans are ashamed of their record for the last 10 years, and they're taking it out on obama. they kept their mouths shut during the bush administration, despite their concerns about runaway deficits and ill-conceived/ill-conducted wars - and now they're letting it all hang out - blasting the current government with the ammo they could've/should've used on the bush bunch.

that's politics. that's ALL.
John Lindauer Oct 11, 2009, 12:03 am
so 50+ percent of americans are stupid? (don't answer that!!!)

and 85% of the rest of the world?

they'll pass healthcare reform by thanksgiving and obama will have a 61% approval rating. the moment job growth goes positive, he'll be in the 70+ category.
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Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize

John Lindauer Oct 9, 2009, 5:51 pm
I think this is an award for simply "getting elected" - demonstrating that democracy is the real instrument of change - far more powerful than violence, far more effective than dictatorship.

because it's "too soon" on anything else. the results aren't in.
John Lindauer Oct 10, 2009, 11:57 pm
One state department official said:
"at least they're not throwing shoes!"
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Citing 'Fascism, Socialism, Obamaism,' Republican Strategist Launches Impeachment Campaign

John Lindauer Oct 10, 2009, 7:25 pm
i hope this useless whacko spends ALL his time on this. Because it will never happen and it'll keep him from doing any REAL harm for the next 7 years.
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First Look At Going Rogue [Wild Blue Ponder]

John Lindauer Oct 9, 2009, 5:46 pm
Sarah Palin would make a fantastic Rogue! With that signature whit shock of hair and those gloves. and sexually repressed because if she even TOUCHES you, you die! X MEN FOREVER! (oh. we're not talking about that?)
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Military's Mini-Monster Truck Arrives in Afghanistan

John Lindauer Oct 7, 2009, 1:56 am
whu?
John Lindauer Oct 7, 2009, 1:57 am
frankly. it looks like something you'd see in a godzilla movie. with a laser mounted to the top.
John Lindauer Oct 7, 2009, 8:41 pm
like in the onion? the dragon tank? it's AWESOME!
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Reid Spokesman Shoots Down Report That He's Nixing Public Option

John Lindauer Oct 2, 2009, 11:40 am
(sorry, it cost 2/3rds of what ours costs.) that kind of savings i can live with. VERY HAPPILY.
John Lindauer Oct 2, 2009, 11:40 am
stephen: i disagree with your view because it is short sighted.

most people aren't sick all the time. but when they do get sick, they run the risk of bankruptcy. bankruptcy lowers property values and harms the economy.

most people can't control their sickness. most people are unaware they are sick until it's too late. try purchasing insurance "on the fly". it can't be done.

guaranteed health care is not socialism, because it does not redistribute wealth. it is a service. like the fire department.

wellfare and healthcare are not the same thing. i'm against wellfare, and think it should be humanely (but speedily) abolished.

but i'm 100% for nationalized medicine. not on the british model, or the canadian model... BUT THE FRENCH MODEL. It's rated #1 in the world and costs HALF of what ours costs.
John Lindauer Oct 2, 2009, 10:15 pm
true that.
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Swedish Couple Win Right to Torture Baby with the Name 'Q'

John Lindauer Oct 2, 2009, 10:26 am
Their next child will be called, simply:

The Borg.
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Report: Saudis Give Israel Green Light For Attack On Iran

John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 5:33 pm
we are their biggest customer. and the customer is always right.
John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 5:34 pm
(the saudi's are HIS ducks. not the other way around.)
John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 5:36 pm
wow. this thing posts comments out of order.
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5 Great Scenes from 5 Otherwise Terrible Movies

John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 5:10 pm
what about five terrible scenes from five great movies?? how about that?

lawrence of arabia picks his nose, for example.
John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 5:29 pm
i just found the most fantastic books on tape. James Earl Jones reads the bible. I'm going to add the sound effect of darth vader's breathing and see what happens!
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Vick's return: 11 plays, 30 total yards

John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 5:06 pm
if any of his dogs played that badly, he would've killed them.
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Uninsured 22-Year-Old Boehner Constituent Dies From Swine Flu

John Lindauer Sep 26, 2009, 2:13 pm
it's sad that the health insurance debate has been so badly framed.

this isn't about "the general welfare"

it's about "the common defense" - against disease and personal bankruptcy.

this is not a new bureaucracy like welfare, it's a value-added service - like the fire department.
John Lindauer Sep 28, 2009, 10:31 am
free enterprise is great.

but insurance companies operate as monopolies.

(health care is a necessity - and THEY control access. once they've got you, they've got you. it's virtually impossible to switch companies, so they don't have to compete.)

the "free market argument" doesn't hold water.
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Public Thinks GOP Doesn't Want Compromise, But Wants Obama To Keep Trying Anyway

John Lindauer Sep 25, 2009, 10:33 pm
this is good news for the democrats on a lot of levels:

slow and steady wins the race. the more obama reaches out and the more the republicans rebuff him, the worse they look. eventually, people in general will shrug their shoulders and say: "okay democrats, go it alone."
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Conservative Attacks "Liberal Bias" Of…..The Onion

John Lindauer Sep 25, 2009, 4:04 pm
the onion goes after obama all the time! they are the first paper to make fun of him - and do it well.

"black man given worst job in america." (hilarious)

"obama bipolar" (double hilarious)

c'mon right-wingers. smile.
John Lindauer Sep 25, 2009, 9:55 pm
I love the onion.
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Palin breaks with McCain on F-22 cuts

John Lindauer Sep 24, 2009, 9:36 pm
maverick, this is iceman. i just got my ass shot down by a drone.

(drones have proven to be far superior to the f-22. which was a compromised platform to begin with. it was tasked to be a fighter bomber that could also perform close air support. it did all of it's tasks "fairly well" but not beautifully.)

they killed it because it was frigging expensive and not as good as its older, more specialized, counterparts.
John Lindauer Sep 25, 2009, 3:52 pm
stephen - yes and no. it met all the requirements. and then got trumped by drones -they're cheaper, stealthier, and more deadly accurate. plus, no need to mount expensive rescue missions when they get shot down.

the 5th generation has arrived. hence, the fourth generation was short lived.

it didn't fall prey to politics, but to induced-obsolescence.
John Lindauer Sep 25, 2009, 3:57 pm
plus... the f 35 variation... is aircraft carrier capable... and force projection is where it's at...
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Woman-assaulting racist Troy Dale West will face felony charges for Cracker Barrel beatdown

John Lindauer Sep 24, 2009, 9:11 pm
dude. he eats at crackerbarrel. um. that's pretty much punishment enough. all those chili fries have pretty well demolished his seratonin uptake.
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Dick Cheney to Undergo Spine Surgery

John Lindauer Sep 17, 2009, 6:11 pm
zay vill be removing his spines? but zay are hiss most idenntifyable attributes. how vill vee wreckognize heem weethout his raiser sharp ridges??
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"Dancing With The Czars": Dems Mock GOP, Glenn Beck Over Czar Obsession

John Lindauer Sep 17, 2009, 6:09 pm
MWAHAHAHAHA! I'M ZEEEEEE BLOGGED.COM RUSPUTIN! DISPUTIN ALL YOUR CSARLY POWERS WITH MY GNARLY NOSE HAIRS!
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RomneyCare: It's Working (Mostly), And It's Popular (Largely)

John Lindauer Sep 10, 2009, 4:44 pm
interesting.

i've heard positive and negative things about it.

who knew mitt could pull it off.
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John Lindauer is following the blog Cogito Ergo Scribit

Reformed pickpockets put cash INTO pockets

John Lindauer Aug 27, 2009, 2:02 pm
i put five in... and 10 out... then i put the ten in my pocket. But I don't feel guilty at all.

how refreshing.
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Bill Richardson won’t be charged in GRIPgate probe UPDATED

John Lindauer Aug 27, 2009, 2:01 pm
i'm a democrat. i personally like this guy. but really, he thought he could make a deal with the taliban in the nineties. and now we have him negotiating with North Korea. He's just too nice for the job. He doesn't get results.
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Megan Fox Not Set To Play Catwoman

John Lindauer Aug 27, 2009, 1:58 pm
however... if she were catwoman's body double... that would be okay. right?
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Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley getting divorced?

John Lindauer Aug 27, 2009, 1:58 pm
so... two 20 kids are getting divorce?
what's this world coming to?
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Health care overhaul plans provoking fears, worries among older Americans already on Medicare

John Lindauer Aug 27, 2009, 1:56 pm
they're the safest of them all.

there's been so much crazy talk.
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New and continuing jobless claims resume decline

John Lindauer Aug 27, 2009, 1:56 pm
it still means we dropped A LOT of jobs.... just not as many as they thought...

but i suppppose it's good news.
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Colorado Democratic headquarters vandalized.

John Lindauer Aug 26, 2009, 12:35 pm
it is sad.

there is a reasonable argument against reform - from a public policy stand point. but all this insanity just undercuts the credibility of conservative thinking. which is, to some degree, valid.

but not like this.
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Video Allegedly Shows Michael Jackson Still Alive, Jumping Out Of Coroner’s Van

John Lindauer Aug 26, 2009, 12:34 pm
it would be just like him.

talk about a comeback. oy. (please don't michael) we prefer you this way.
John Lindauer Aug 26, 2009, 12:35 pm
i know that was rude.

but he'd just gone sooooooo far off the deep end. this is just better - for his music if nothing else.
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(Another) Baptist Preacher Prays For Obama To Die

John Lindauer Aug 26, 2009, 2:46 am
when they find this guy, up to his.... um... midsection in transgender hookers... i will nod my head and say:

"i saw that coming for MILES."

anybody who hates that much is definitely projecting.
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John Lindauer is following Jerome Lank

Alyssa Milano Gets Married

John Lindauer Aug 17, 2009, 2:04 pm
who cares about Alyssa Milano.... oh wait... did she invent those Milano cookies? she did? OH! well then! Good luck with your marriage.
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no one but the pure of heart, may find the golden grail...

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