etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 10, 2009, 7:23 pm
I know. I know. I said I wasn't going to run on my injured leg before the marathon this Saturday. But it was such a gorgeous, warm, sunny day again today, I couldn't stand the thought of swimm...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 8, 2009, 7:42 am
I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling a bit out of sorts my house usually shows it. Thoughts strewn about my brain are matched by clothes strewn about my house. A dingy, gray mood is pa...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 7, 2009, 11:59 pm
Easily the nicest, warmest, sunniest day we've had since maybe August passed today without me stepping out on the road. Instead, I went inside to swim. Ugh! I swam and swam and swam. I had a 10-12...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 4, 2009, 7:01 am
I learned last night of two deaths which directly resulted from alcoholism. One young man and one middle-aged woman, both of whom previously worked a program of recovery, passed away this week. Relaps...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 4, 2009, 4:09 am
It's 4 AM, and I'm awake. Actually, I've been awake since 2:45 AM. It was (is) one of those nights. After awakening multiple times, and finally staying awake after 2:45, I decided to get u...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 3, 2009, 6:55 pm
Be the kind of woman who when your feet hit the ground each morning, the devil says, "OH CRAP! SHE'S UP! Thanks to my social worker who thought of me when she saw this!
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Nov 3, 2009, 3:35 pm
Today my therapist and I were marveling over the brevity of my recent dive into depression's darkness. That discussion got me thinking. I have you readers to thank for that brevity. You guys wrote...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 31, 2009, 4:07 pm
With a temp of 35 degrees and wind gusting up to 30 mph, running my planned 10K this morning was suddenly not very appealing. Of course my leg hurt, and I'm still having my morose mood moments, to...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 29, 2009, 11:59 pm
It was originally coined by Bill W. in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Faith without works is dead. A strange sentence conveying a simple concept; take action. No matter how strongly I believe in AA&#...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 27, 2009, 9:06 pm
Damn, I didn't see this coming. I've fallen off a cliff into the sea of morosity. It is a very dark, scary place to be. And I cannot find my life jacket.
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 25, 2009, 8:27 pm
With a title like that, I'm amazed you're reading this sentence. But blah is how I've been feeling. I don't want to do much of anything, which explains why I haven't written in a f...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 22, 2009, 6:56 am
This is a post I wrote last year, but it's so appropriate right now I thought I'd re-run it. Conversation With My Brain. Today I learned more than I wanted or needed to know about the female...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 20, 2009, 6:45 pm
One of the symptoms of over training is a drop in previously attainable times. Today, I could barely meet my 800 meter interval time goals, and I only cranked out 6 versus the 8 repeats which were sch...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 18, 2009, 5:02 pm
The sun is shining, and we've had two beautiful days in a row. Puck and I ran 15 miles yesterday and 8 today. My legs and body are constantly tired, but that's pretty normal for this stage of ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 16, 2009, 12:02 am
I don't think I've ever written about this before. It's not something I even like to admit. But it's back, and that discourages me. I wonder if any of you have experienced something si...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 15, 2009, 4:54 pm
Another very gray, cold, rainy day around here. Running is tough in this kind of junk. Actually, I'm finding accomplishing anything to be a chore. What I wouldn't do to see a ray of sunshine r...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 12, 2009, 8:06 pm
long day today. i left work after only a couple hours, as i was feeling head-achy and nauseous again. not sure what's going on. this is exactly how i felt last thursday, but i was fine all weekend...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 11, 2009, 4:20 pm
I had to go to a funeral on Friday. The funeral was back in the town in which I spent many tortured years, and therefore I had multiple tortured memories and feelings about returning there. I moved ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 11, 2009, 10:25 am
...one to go! Yes, I did it. I ran the whole 26.2 at The Whistlestop Marathon yesterday. It was a good run. I followed my plan and walked for one minute at every mile marker. However, I strayed from ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 8, 2009, 3:37 pm
Uh, oh...I'm not feeling so well. A little achy, a little nauseous, a little flu-ish. Of course I am! I registered to run the Whistlestop Marathon yesterday. You know, the one I was thinking about...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Oct 6, 2009, 5:31 pm
Boy, we've been slammed with rain lately. I spent another run soaking up the sky today. Running is a lot more difficult with this weather. The cold, wet and gray is not good for my mood either. I ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 29, 2009, 6:23 pm
It's hard to believe it is the end of September already. I've been so focused on training, I've hardly noticed the start of fall. That is until today when the temperature dropped into the ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 27, 2009, 8:25 pm
My knee hurts. I worked today, and I walk all day at work. Walking actually hurts worse than running, so I was pretty sore when I got home. I just looked at my training schedule for this week, and as ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 26, 2009, 4:57 pm
I ran 18 miles today. Saturday mornings are my traditional long run time, and 18 is the longest I've done in this training cycle so far. I'm assuming the 20 milers will start within the next t...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 24, 2009, 9:19 pm
There is not much new on the sponsor front. After discussing my dilemma with one person, I leaned toward keeping my current sponsor. After talking with another friend, I was certain I would change spo...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 22, 2009, 9:10 pm
I just found out my AA sponsor relapsed about 3 weeks ago. Apparently I am the last to know. I haven't been to my usual AA meetings for about 3 weeks, mostly because of my running schedule, but sh...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 21, 2009, 6:12 am
Live music blares speakers the size of buildings the football stadium rocks Cheers deafen as another group finishes the walk Memorial placards honor loved ones Their journey over years too soon S...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 19, 2009, 6:07 pm
Like so many inspirational stories before this one, the piece I just read includes a description of the author weaning herself from all anti-depressant medication. I loved the story. It was very inspi...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 18, 2009, 8:27 pm
It's been almost 8 complete weeks since I began training seriously again. With one exception, I've run 5 days per week every week, just as my schedule dictated. I've also run the miles cal...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 16, 2009, 6:17 am
I'm eating my oatmeal. It's dark outside. I hate that. Seems it was just a couple weeks ago, and the sun was shining brightly at this time. I'm off to work in just a few minutes, and I'...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 14, 2009, 9:18 pm
I took today off, so I had a long weekend. I was very productive this weekend; did my laundry, went grocery shopping, ran 17 miles Saturday, ran 5 miles yesterday and today, and played a lot of golf. ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 11, 2009, 5:05 pm
I had a day interrupted by intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are disturbing, aggressive, repetitive thoughts which barge into one's mind. That's my definition, anyway. My intrusive though...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 10, 2009, 2:53 pm
Feeling less fatigue. Having a lighter mood. Handling stress more efficiently. Feeling less distracted. Questioning life's meaning less. It's strange...this better place. How did I get here? ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 8, 2009, 3:39 pm
I'm feeling a little guilty today. I was asked by my local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) chapter to assist with an upcoming 10-week course. I am a trained instructor for NAMI's Pr...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 5, 2009, 4:21 pm
Thanks to your comments and my friend Renee's insistence that I would "love it," I did the run, bike, run duathlon this morning. And I did like it...I'm not ready to say love just yet. It wa...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 5, 2009, 5:57 am
So you all know about my long-term battle with fatigue and my more recent concern with weight gain. Both depression symptoms significantly and negatively impact my running. I am tremendously satisfied...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Sep 3, 2009, 5:30 pm
So I got myself a tri bike this spring with the thought of one day trying a triathlon--maybe. I'm not a great swimmer, and I'm a little afraid of the water, so the swimming portion of the tri ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 31, 2009, 7:50 pm
My dog, my boy Puck, was attacked tonight. We were two blocks from home, only 2 minutes into a 4-mile run. We were running our usual route, right past a home we've run by at least 1,000 times befo...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 28, 2009, 8:21 pm
While cleaning my basement yesterday I found an old notebook tucked away in an ancient Runner's World magazine. On my way to the recycle bin I realized the notebook contained some journaling. Date...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 26, 2009, 6:29 am
While I generally shy away from politics here, today one politician must be mentioned. Whether you are black, white, blue or green; whether you are from the conservative right or liberal left; whether...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 24, 2009, 8:45 pm
A cool thing has been happening lately. At each of the last three races I've run, friends, acquaintances, and even a couple of strangers have approached me to tell me they've been reading my b...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 22, 2009, 6:47 pm
Another perfectly gorgeous day today! Wow, we couldn't have asked for much nicer weather in which to race. I believe over 600 runners showed up. The course was new this year. It used to be an out ...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 20, 2009, 6:04 pm
not a particularly special day today. spent most of it alone. saw my psychiatrist. she's pleased the new med seems to be combating at least some of the fatigue, although i did note i still need to...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 18, 2009, 7:16 pm
Unusual day today. I went golfing, which was unusual. I hadn't golfed in two years. But even more unusual, I went golfing with three other women. I don't generally spend time with other people...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 16, 2009, 9:44 pm
Despite the heat, Despite the sleep, Despite the stomach ache, Despite the headache, Despite it all, I had a good run. I did it. I had a good run, A light run, An energized run. Go figure. Today, d...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 16, 2009, 2:55 pm
I haven't written yet this weekend because I've been having a long, hot, lazy, sleepy, tough-running time so far. Not sure if it's the weather, or a dip in my mood, or hormonal, or sleep a...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 13, 2009, 9:19 am
My house is being cleaned. I'm banished to the local Caribou Coffee shop. It's too hot to run, and I have to meet my social worker within the hour anyway. I'm listening to Minnesota Public...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 11, 2009, 7:36 pm
I had a thoughtful 6 mile hilly run today. The first six weeks of my marathon training program call for "the hilliest run you can find" every Tuesday. Those of you following along know I hate hills, b...
Comment - Like

etta e. posted an article on Depression Marathon - Aug 9, 2009, 7:43 am
My friend, Renee, in her continuing quest to domesticate me, invited me to make bread and jam with her yesterday. Renee enjoys cooking, baking, and eating. I enjoy only one of those three, and it isn&...
Comment - Like