Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 9, 2009, 5:41 pm
I was into my third day of having this rotten cold/flu. I was lying on my couch with my bed pillows and a quilt pulled over me. I was on my fourth box of Kleenex, with at least one box used and d...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 8, 2009, 3:47 pm
It seems every time I turn around I feel like crap. This time I think I had something a little bigger than a regular cold. Maybe something that rhymes with wine sue. Or maybe it was just a cold and I&...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 6, 2009, 4:08 pm
I've had a rotten stinking cold all weekend because assholes can't stay home when they're sick, let alone cover their mouths when they cough. In between watching bad television today and c...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 5, 2009, 1:10 pm
Here's one picture I was able to snap before Jack lost his holiday spirit- He then tried to gore me with his antlers. When that didn't work he threw himself down and pretended to have rabies...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 3, 2009, 6:28 pm
Today after work I went to take a shower in an attempt to wash away some of the suckassness of the day. As I removed my bra, I turned and caught a quick glimpse in the mirror of something disconcertin...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 2, 2009, 6:04 pm
Today I got up, went to work in the rain, worked, and then came home in the rain. And in between I wanted to stab everyone. My day. The end. And because what's in my head and on my hard drive is w...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Dec 1, 2009, 6:33 pm

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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 30, 2009, 3:55 pm
Thanksgiving marks the start of the holiday season for me. Thanksgiving, then Christmas, ending with New Years. You would think the holiday season would soften my desire to stab people. Well, you woul...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 28, 2009, 8:25 pm
Since Dogette and I announced the new site we're co-authoring there's been some buzz on the Internets. Here's just a few I've read: "it's the end of times..." "I think the world ...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 27, 2009, 4:25 pm
I wanted to do an entry earlier today but saw something shinier on my computer -True Blood- and decided to watch a few episodes. That turned into watching four, and then I had to take a nap. I woke up...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 25, 2009, 3:48 pm
I remember my first Catechism classes in first grade. That was when Sister Jean Marie told us God was as old as time itself and all powerful, and that he did not look like us. So in my child's min...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 24, 2009, 4:02 pm
Did you all realize that soon it will be 2010? Yes, 2010. Let that soak in for a minute. I don't know about you but when I was a kid most sci-fi movies about the future were set in that year. They...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 23, 2009, 4:14 pm
I had a busy weekend. I saw New Moon, which was excellent. At some point during the weekend I started watching True Blood season one episodes. I now feel like I'm a vampire expert which prepares m...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 19, 2009, 4:16 pm
This morning I was watching the national news before work and one of the stories I caught was about China. It was about how their economy is booming and how enterprising Chinese are getting rich. They...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 18, 2009, 5:55 pm
I was looking through my photos on my computer, attempting to organize them. By organize, I basically mean deleting the majority of them and stashing the rest in folders. Then I thought since I don...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 17, 2009, 3:47 pm
Richelle: "We're still going to go see New Moon Friday when it premiers, right?" Me: "Sure. Can you get tickets online early so we won't have to wait in line?" Richelle: "I don't think t...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 16, 2009, 4:29 pm
Even though I was down for the count for a few days last week, I still have a Stab List to fill. Rage doesn't take a vacation, people. 1. My cat Thelma for attempting to kill my dog again. It'...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 15, 2009, 6:18 pm
I wasn't going to do an entry tonight, but I have decided that I am going to start documenting the insanity around my house with these animals. I know you all have read my bitching and complaining...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 13, 2009, 4:59 pm

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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 12, 2009, 3:44 pm
Did you all miss me? Yes, I was gone for a few days. I was actually in the hospital. How dramatic is that? I am fine. Everything is fine. I just got out today and have been busy washing all of the adh...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 10, 2009, 3:41 pm
I get asked all the time how my rabies is doing so I decided to make this chart. Now when I'm asked I can just point to the current danger level on the chart. Of course if I'm in level red I a...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 9, 2009, 4:56 pm
I know you have all been anticipating Monday’s Stab List so without further ado: 1. The South Carolina Department of Transportation that closed down a major road, blocked it off, and put one detour...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 7, 2009, 4:50 pm
I woke up with a headache and a full blown case of rabies this morning so I called J and told him I would be staying home. The animals have taken turns driving me insane. I swear to God I live in a fu...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 4, 2009, 6:51 pm
It's been a boring day and while driving home from work I thought I'd stop at the grocery store and get stuff to make myself a breakfast dinner. I love breakfast for dinner. Anyway, here are s...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 3, 2009, 6:02 pm
That's right. My crazy ass neighbor has moved her couch out into her yard. It does not appear that it was moved to the curb for garbage pick up. It seems more that it was placed there so she can s...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 2, 2009, 4:28 pm
It's Monday Stab List time and even though I lost an hour with this Daylight Savings thing, I never lost wanting to stab most of the people I came in contact with. I do try to shorten my list to t...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Nov 1, 2009, 6:16 pm
I actually had things to do this weekend that took me away from the Internet. So maybe I won't taunt and make fun of you non-weekend commenting people anymore. Yeah, right. Not a chance. So I th...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 31, 2009, 12:20 pm

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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 31, 2009, 7:12 am
Congratulations Tuesday! You now have a better chance of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. Please email me at laura at fetchmyflyingmonkeys dot com with your choice of prizes--the chainsaw, or an Amazo...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 30, 2009, 6:15 pm
The Murderous Asshole Animals educational series is continuing in Twitter. I'm going to post some in here in case there are some folks that are afraid of Twitter. I should be. My account was hijac...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 29, 2009, 4:40 pm
I had this added to the notes on my iPhone because I kept forgetting it when I wrote my Stab Lists on Mondays, but this really needs its own post. People that marinate themselves in perfume or colog...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 28, 2009, 5:23 pm
My Top 10 Imaginary Boyfriends I should say The Top 10 as of today's date. All are subject to change at any moment, excluding #1. He's permanent. Call me, George Clooney. 1. George Clooney 2...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 27, 2009, 5:05 pm
I've had it. This 9-5 shit just isn't for me. I've thought it out and decided that I need to take my life in a new direction. But what do you do when you have no discernible talents or amb...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 18, 2009, 6:52 pm

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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 17, 2009, 9:46 am
I know you all thought I was lying to you yesterday about opening boxes from France so here's proof. This is my French package from France that arrived yesterday: I almost couldn't open my Fr...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 16, 2009, 6:37 pm

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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 15, 2009, 5:17 pm
  I am exhausted after my emotional roller coaster yesterday. I would like to thank all those who supported me during one of my darkest hours. And to the ones who didn't (DUANE and GARGS), ...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 14, 2009, 2:45 pm
Every morning I listen to the CBS News before I go to work. This morning as I was getting sleep crud out of the corner of my eyes I heard "Actor George Clooney moves in Italian girlfriend and gives he...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 13, 2009, 4:53 pm
It has been a busy day. A busy day, but I have found time to continue educating you people because that's what I do. I am a people person and besides, I can run something into the ground harder th...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 12, 2009, 4:26 pm
It's Monday so it's time for my Stab List. My dream is to one day not have anyone or anything on this list. I don't think that's ever going to happen. 1. The man that coughed on me in...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 11, 2009, 4:06 pm
So he didn't get the part in CSI: Miami as "Dead Hooker Number 3." And he didn't get an audition for Law and Order: Special Victims Unit as "The OD'ed Junkie Whore." But I'm not givi...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 10, 2009, 4:37 pm
I'm kind of pissed that I did all that "You must weekend blog" thing. I totally understand why politicians have a hard time standing behind their promises. I need to go all political here and just...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 9, 2009, 8:35 pm

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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Oct 1, 2009, 8:04 pm
What the hell do you say when someone comes up to you all excited and says "OH! OH! I know it's not your birthday, but I saw something and it was so YOU that I had to get it and give it to you!" A...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Sep 30, 2009, 4:54 pm
I got an email this morning from my manager. I can't make it a jpg. Most of it had to be blacked out because of confidential work shit and names, and to resize it made it unreadable. So here's...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Sep 29, 2009, 6:30 pm
That little plaque hangs by my desk here at home. It's a nice sentiment, but I don't pay attention to it much because most days the only thing that would make me happy is to stab someone. And ...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Sep 28, 2009, 6:16 pm
I was having so much fun over at Two Nervous Dogs that I almost forgot to blog. Oh, I'm sorry; you can't see it can you? Well, that's because she's locked out everyone who played the "...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Sep 27, 2009, 4:33 pm
Yes, two entries in one day, and a Sunday at that. I'm such a giver. Speaking of giving, my educational series of facts continues. It will continue until I run out of old pictures, facts or just g...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Sep 27, 2009, 8:22 am
I always keep money in my iTunes account just in case I must have the new Miley Cyrus song or the latest iFart application. EVERY TIME I go to purchase something my balance is smaller than I think it ...
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Laura S. posted an article on Fetch My Flying Monkeys - Sep 26, 2009, 2:56 pm
So I've been having insomnia lately and this morning after waking up at three a.m. I went into the living room to lay on the couch and watch some television, well infomercials really. So I fell ba...
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