Lauren C.

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6 Blog Followers
Following: 4
Following Blogs: 1

Latest Activity

Masculinity and its bullshittiness (future children edition)

Lauren C. posted an article on - Dec 3, 2009, 1:46 am
I can has? Hey kids! Did you know that I am writing a thesis about masculinity, energy drinks, and militarism? Because I am! I often don't write about my academic work on here because a) I'd...
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The President talks about Afghanistan, I contribute nothing

Lauren C. posted an article on - Dec 1, 2009, 6:57 pm
Live bloggin, bitchez! 8:01, right on time. A crowd of cadets is even more boring to look at than a crowd of congress costumes. The prez is getting grayer these days. 9/11!! Why does Barack Obam...
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I flatly refuse to be stigmatized

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 29, 2009, 8:40 pm
Apparently some asshole thinks that the government shouldn't give out food stamps because it makes us too lazy. SRSLY. Unfortunately for John J. Miller, I am NOT ASHAMED of receiving food stamps, ...
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Rebel Yelling: Volume V--9/11ish

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 28, 2009, 2:33 am
Back in September, Matthew Jarzen tried to remind us all about The 9/11. We read: We forgot our 9/11 promises. (Matthew Jarzen, UNLV Rebel Yell)
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I contemplate why this comic would never happen

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 25, 2009, 2:23 pm
Is anyone else confused about this timeline? According to something actually reputable I read here on the internet, smallpox vaccinations were routine in the United States until 1972. Up until then,...
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A few things I saw on the interwebs today

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 23, 2009, 2:24 pm
I, too, want to punch this goddamn Kay commercial in the face. Assvertising. (Melissa, Shakesville) Our favorite news source, HuffPo, asks why Ted Kennedy's son can't receive communion as the...
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I address the Twilight thing

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 20, 2009, 2:53 pm
... teen sci-fi novel as much as the next guy, but SRSLY. Vampires who sparkle? Native American werewolves? Hundreds of pages of lusting after somebody really kind of creepy and stalkerish and distu...
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Shockingly, Adam Lambert is not a feminist icon

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 17, 2009, 2:11 am
He and Kate with all the babies have the same hairdresser: y/y? The interwebz tell me that some pretty shiny guy from American Idol or whatever said some shit to a magazine: To some people, me being ...
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Things that are wrong on the Huffington Post

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 14, 2009, 5:56 pm
Sometimes I look at HuffPo and scan it for funny video clips or interesting headlines. Usually I'm just like BLAHBLAHBLAH don't care and I NEVER read the columnists because, again, I don't...
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Rebel Yelling Volume IV: Privatiiiiiize

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 14, 2009, 1:57 am
My favorite college newspaper columnist was like, "schools should be totes private" back in March. I read some shit from that: Re-thinking our education system a necessity. (UNLV Rebel Yell)
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Women's "Health" AGAIN

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 12, 2009, 10:08 pm
Dear House of "Representatives": Hey, way to go on that Stupak shit! Heaven forbid we act as if uterus-bearing bodies need medical care. I mean, different kinds than boys. Icky stuff like that is onl...
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Ronald Reagan Was a Fat Child

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 9, 2009, 11:19 pm
MY HERO. Ronald "Ronnie" "President" Reagan was born in Illinois in 1911. He was nicknamed "Dutch" by his dad because he was as fat as a little Dutchman, and also his dad was totes a douchebag probab...
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Blog business

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 7, 2009, 2:23 pm
Dear readers, There is a day in every sporadic blogger's life when she checks her email to find comments upon very old posts and goes, "Oooh," but then they are links for women's viagra and/o...
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Lauren tells Ohioans how to vote

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 2, 2009, 10:13 pm
Hello, fellow Wood County, Ohio residents! I have decided to go ahead and fulfill my civic duty and vote on the various state and local measures on the ballot tomorrow. I look at the various issues an...
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Rebel Yelling: Volume III

Lauren C. posted an article on - Nov 1, 2009, 2:23 pm
Isaac and I present to you another of Matthew Jarzen's stellar undergraduate newspaper opinion columns. And while I know we all use "they" in the singular in conversation in order to remain gender...
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I'm coming out... about David Lynch

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 28, 2009, 3:06 am
No, I don't sleep at night anymore, David Lynch. Thanks for asking. Guess what, people? I've officially decided I don't like David Lynch. I'm not saying I won't ever give his work...
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Wikipedia failed me, so now you get Pluggers

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 24, 2009, 1:35 am
Can you believe I thought of a controversial American historical figure to write a post about, and the 'Pedia let me down with a completely inadequate entry? PSHAW, people. I was required to shake...
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People who are anti-beard hate America

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 19, 2009, 11:50 pm
Dear HuffPo: Not okay.
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A Message from the Sexy Gay Jesus

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 16, 2009, 7:51 pm
Hello my blessed children: As you may know, I am the Imaginary Gay Best Friend/Deity of Choice of this blog's proprietor. I am usually far too busy being fabulous and recovering from celestial ha...
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Rebel Yelling- The Latest Installment of Awesome

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 16, 2009, 2:42 am
Matthew Jarzen's latest piece up at the UNLV site totes rocked my socks. Here the I-Man and I do a dramatic reading: See original article: Modern liberalism is repackaged totalitarianism (Matthew...
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John Quincy Adams: More Accomplished than George W. Bush, Less Successful?

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 9, 2009, 6:32 pm
A sad bird, amirite? John Quincy Adams, our sixth president, was the son of fancy-pants second president John Adams and his fancy letter-writing and lady-advocating wife Abigail, who were each other&...
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TMI Alert: It's Not Pissing, People

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 8, 2009, 3:59 pm
Apparently British Film censors are among the many people who are under the erroneous assumption that "female ejaculation" is just pissing during sex. From what I understand, the phenomenon is far fro...
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"Teen Witch" Live-Blog

Lauren C. posted an article on - Oct 5, 2009, 11:02 pm
Isaac and I are watching 1989 teen classic Teen Witch. It's pretty magical: WTF is with this music video beginning? Creepy! Good thing it was just a dream! Her little brother has a compulsive e...
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Energy Drink Review: Money-Shot Raven

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 28, 2009, 3:44 pm
... I am assuming is a fabulous New York state delicacy, the Money-Shot energy drink, "Raven" flavor. Apparently it is distributed by Dirty Blonde Brands which has the classiest website ever. I stay...
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Rebel Yelling Volume I

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 28, 2009, 4:21 am
Our illustrious campus newspaper recently exposed me to the works of big-time Las Vegas college student opinion-maker, Matthew Jarzen. His conservatism and ability to use required high school readings...
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Random Meanderings

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 28, 2009, 12:38 am
Here are some things that I like and/or are interesting right now: I have the digital TV converter with a crazy Christmas-tree-kinda-shaped antenna-receiver thing my dad bought for me because he know...
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The saddest thing I've seen today

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 21, 2009, 1:15 am
Granted, I haven't left the house today. Instead I woke up, outlined a response paper, drank a gigantic Monster Heavy Metal* and wrote. Now I am on the internet. And sometimes I am like, "I should...
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Top 5 Crappy Joes

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 17, 2009, 11:04 pm
I'm going to make a sweeping, baseless generalization: dudes named Joe suck at higher levels than people with other names. Here are some important examples to back my assertions up: 5. Joe Liebe...
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Herbert Hoover: Not Actually a Fake Name

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 16, 2009, 10:18 pm
Herbert Hoover was one of the few one-term U.S. presidents in the twentieth century. Little Herbie was born in Iowa in 1874, the first U.S. president to be born west of the Mississippi. His parents we...
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Disturbed

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 15, 2009, 1:50 pm
Guess who had a delightful new experience today? Yes, me! Good guess. I have never called the police before this morning, but today I got lucky. See, I was awakened at 7:30 this a.m. (traumatizing alr...
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A Nature Poem

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 10, 2009, 5:20 pm
O, Cicada: Your weird chirping song, incessant in the summer heat Like unto the sound of an alien hissing, preparing to strike But ere I too much disparage your vibrating timbals, I must say I prefer ...
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Lauren Stumbles Upon Presidential Address to Congress and Live Blogs It

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 9, 2009, 7:09 pm
Presidential Address, Bitchez!
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Can I talk about health care again, people?

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 4, 2009, 3:06 pm
Yes, I can. Because this is my blog, and though often underused, it does still belong to me. So there. Anyway, this health care mess, amirite? I have two points to make, or rather two nebulous meander...
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At least this one's not about drugs

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 4, 2009, 2:17 pm
Haha! Pluggers can never retire!
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The KKK: Poorly Transliterated Greek and Also Racism

Lauren C. posted an article on - Sep 1, 2009, 5:41 pm
Pre-D.W. Griffith-approved standardized costumes. Have you ever wondered about the Ku Klux Klan? What's with all the K's and the pointy sheets and the being assholes, you might ask. Well, I c...
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Unsettling but apt comparison of the day: sperm in the face and weddings

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 25, 2009, 5:06 pm
Amanda Hess explains how the fact that some ladies apparently enjoy "facials" is totes like getting married:ecause even though we all know it’s sexist as fuck, weddings—like facial ejaculation—s...
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Warren G. Harding: Kind of unimpressive house, in all honesty

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 24, 2009, 7:18 pm
See! We were there. Dear readers, I went to class tonight! History! U.S. history class! Hooray! I just wanted to let you know that though I have been MIA due to not having to work for an entire week...
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George Washington: Father of Functional Drug Addiction as well as His Country

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 15, 2009, 2:34 pm
Jaunty, no? George Washington was our nation's first president, but probably should have died, like, a bunch of times before that presidency thing every happened what with all the illness and mer...
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This blog was really lacking posts about rape

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 10, 2009, 1:16 pm
Men never victimize women who carry weapon-y things! Oh, wait. Remember a while back when I published that terrible email from Ye Olde University's police department about how some girl got raped...
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Dear Mr. President but also the Congress:

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 7, 2009, 2:05 pm
Hello? Mr. Barack Obama? Messrs. and Mmes. of the House and the Senate? Could I talk to you guys for a minute? So, I was wondering about this "health care" thing you've been working on. See, the t...
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America's Dairyland: WISCONSIN IS AWESOME

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 6, 2009, 7:44 pm
The King and Queen of Wisconsin. Wisconsin! It is our nation's 30th state, inducted into our hallowed union in 1848. The land itself was first inhabited by Indians (duh), but then explored by Fre...
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Plugger-induced identity crisis

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 4, 2009, 3:10 pm
Am I a Plugger because I get food stamps during the school year? Also, is Mrs. Chicken Lady Plugger so hard up, she must turn to cough syrup to get drunk? Also, WTF? How many lines of credit do these ...
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AWESOME '80S FANTASY MOVIE/U.S. POLITICAL CONSPIRACY

Lauren C. posted an article on - Aug 3, 2009, 6:33 pm
For some time now, I have remained convinced that the voters of California's 30th District are so enamored by the portrayal by British actor Warwick Davis (AKA the guy who played Willow) of Hogwar...
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Exotic Vacation: Upper Midwest Edition

Lauren C. posted an article on - Jul 24, 2009, 1:29 pm
Hellooo friends, Guess who is going on vacation for, like, eight whole days. Can you guess? It's me! And Isaac! Hooray! And we are going to the magical college friend-filled land of Minnesota whe...
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If Pluggers could afford cable, their kids would find out about "Intervention" and try to get them on the show

Lauren C. posted an article on - Jul 22, 2009, 12:47 pm
For reasons passing understanding, I continue to search high and low (but mostly on internet newspaper sites) for ever more evidence of Plugger prescription drug addictions. Because after "Pluggers ar...
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