Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Feb 9, 2012, 12:40 am
As I listen to The Cave by Mumford & Sons, I am struck with a need to put letters to page. Thus, I am here.
New things have brewed since the decision to end antibiotics presently. The first, is clinical. The second, a long term commitment to the artistic lifestyle. I will begin with the first-
I mus... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Jan 28, 2012, 6:49 pm
"'We are no longer alone, waiting for the night, waiting for Godot, waiting for...waiting. All evening, we have struggled unassisted. Now, it's over. It's already tomorrow."
I've been writing like mad and functioning like you wouldn't believe. Independent of Ginsberg naked joy within a sun drenched ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Jan 19, 2012, 1:53 am
I forget how sick I really am. I have grown harrow and terse toward myself, exercising beyond my capacity and pushing myself toward critical blame. I found a photograph of myself from two years ago. I am smiling, despite the deep pain rendered in my irises. I hold it as a memento now, not willing to... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 31, 2011, 7:33 pm
Life feels barren. No matter how many plays I attend or hopes I cultivate, it falls to the ruin of this disease. There is no such thing as pleasure without pain.
Chuck Bukowski is one of my favorite, gun-shy poets. I came across a poem he wrote the other day called 'Near a Plate Glass Window'. The p... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 19, 2011, 10:30 pm
slowly held, in torn
wreckage born lonesome
in light like love lust
powder dried lube
crumbled slow lump
coke dust addict
when legs bare
where youth held
snakes of another
induce cover muddled slobber
licking time circular,
shafted,
and broke numerical once again.
fragrant charmer with a
rancid sens... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 15, 2011, 11:32 pm
Mrs. G has spoken of her song Marry The Night as an acceptance of the dark side of your dreams. I feel I did the same thing she presents this past Summer. I haven't elaborated upon it here, except for this:
"I'm gonna marry the night,
I won't give up on my life
I'm a warrior queen
Live passionately ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 11, 2011, 4:09 am
If I am lucky, which it seems I am terminally not, the Azithromycin-Mepron-Minocycline triage of antibiotic therapy will end sometime next week. I am hoping for the best, a first in my cynical case.
I seem to find much stability in Atheism. I feel more naturally aligned with myself and my human purp... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 4, 2011, 1:52 am
Its hard to feel fabulous when you have malaria. Still, I sit here in fake eyelashes and red lipstick to make some sort of point to myself. Creativity is not extinct. It is only expunged.
I am on three synergistic antibiotics working to eradicate Babesia. I have been utterly debilitated, vomiting, ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Nov 19, 2011, 6:00 pm
I suppose and update is in order-
I have been suffering traumatic states of hysteria since early May and am just now stabilizing in a way I feel vaguely comfortable with. I saw my doctor last month and he made himself known as a resource through a means I never enamoured to consider. Through this,... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Oct 18, 2011, 12:32 am
I am having difficulty coming to terms with the utter lack that Lyme seems to en crop on life's space. I just received a "just putting it out there" comment about the credibility of antibiotics and Lyme treatment itself. It is odd that people find advice that stands in direct opposition to your life... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Oct 9, 2011, 6:10 pm
The term free-write is an interesting one. I have held much pain internal as a means to seem like the rational individual I am not. I don't know how to be heard, how to listen to anything beyond overwhelming obsession.
I rest my forhead in my palm and let it slide open like a broken drawer. There is... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Oct 9, 2011, 6:01 pm
I snuff the relent:
the golden-eyed trigger,
the talent held of thieves,
the broken legend country side
and my time-wrought beliefs.
'How come' it shreiks,
why must it be so?
I held the trigger lightly
and blast my skull to snow.
this is what's become of me,
a life born of regret
a fear wrangled sof... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Oct 7, 2011, 2:47 pm
I would like to write letters. Here (punctuation rebellious today).
d e e p e r
(have you ever thought of the in between?)
m e a n i n g ...
THOUGHT
(words with personal definition)
THOUGHT
(drawing forth constructs)
THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT
(again)
o... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Oct 5, 2011, 11:37 pm
I am listening to Air while shooting it, faceless, in the dark of a 16 hour sleep cycle. I wrote a poem the other day. I am growing weary simply typing this. I am not writing for any one's benefit but my own this evening.
I am suffering, that I would like to be straightforward about. However, it is ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Oct 4, 2011, 1:19 pm
The second surgery is complete. I am now a toothless wonder, wondering why it took so much just to keep fighting.
I want to say this as casually as possible: I have suffered a nervous breakdown. I do not feel ready, if ever, to detail it through this venue, but I will say obsession played a major pa... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 26, 2011, 8:12 pm
"It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 26, 2011, 7:52 pm
Rather than shunted, my freakish mind is on the run/mend/hole-jumping-duty. Rather, I wish it were. I'm in a series of uncharted depths now, much greater than holistic pain, this trafficked heart set to kiss the other side. Of what?
My guess is as good as any.
I have a new obsession. It is an idea s... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 16, 2011, 4:58 pm
Quickie Detox Tidbit:
Chlorophyl, a major aspect of the green veggie clan and their resounding detox properties relies mostly on the fact that the Chlorophyl molecule is identical to certain blood molecules. The difference between the two rests in their center: Chlorophyl is to magnesium as blood mo... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 15, 2011, 8:14 pm
This purgatory of a moment folded into itself when a disembodied, rather square head popped free of its walled master, smiling.
"I am ready to see you now," it cooed.
I was led behind the partition to weave the connection: the rollicking cap-and-skull charade he calls his haircut/a utilitarian, ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 13, 2011, 5:12 pm
Simmering-slow-cooked, I voyaged toward the official resting place of ND Gal and her expertise. My mouth, packed with cloth-like squares of gauze in the form of a tourniquet, remained uncharacteristically closed as the appointment began.
"You look great," remarked ND Gal about my 1/2 inch swollen f... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 8, 2011, 9:20 pm
Bolstered by lethargy, I have considered this post and its residual combatants for the briefly time-centered experience I remember little. However, what I can recall, has to do with positive shock and medical charge in the form of partial wisdom removal. That is to say, the portion of my mind most m... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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May 1, 2011, 6:51 pm
Tomorrow, two of four infected wisdom teeth will be expunged from my swollen gums. I have prepared through a procrastination project known as the "Dental Pack", caking my gums to the point of near frosting (note: the Dental Pack is a reference to a prior post on dealing with infected teeth here).
I ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Apr 30, 2011, 6:27 pm
Lyme patients are rendered susceptible to toxic stimulus of multiple realms. Typically, when considering one's toxic load, internal inhibitors (such as endotoxins) or external poisons come to the forefront. However, there is a silent toxin rarely considered, quietly researched. EMF remains said toxi... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Apr 28, 2011, 9:17 pm
The drive alone rode beneath my carefully placed skin (as to cover the wounded secretion of sense within). I felt as if I were pacing beneath the car, traveling at a sprint to match the wheeled misfortune of such an appointment.
Of course, meticulously woven nerves began to fray then split. I have ... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Apr 24, 2011, 5:05 pm
The couch has now memorized the sculpture of my 24/7 imprint. I had thought myself to (supposedly) be ill as a layer cake confection riddled with sugary venom, due a flu bug wrenched cusping incapacitated. To put it plainly: seven weeks of alternate illness embraced me as a progression toward better... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Apr 16, 2011, 9:59 pm
Feel warrants a hard-candy-validity when guised of its own appearance. I have spent years schucking fashion for the sake of energy consumption, only to find it unyielding upon similar topics.
That said, what I call Lyme Chic has afforded positive outcome due feel/pleasure. It is malleable in this w... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Apr 7, 2011, 6:05 pm
Well, I am at odds yet again. I have been ill with the flu for the past five weeks. It is nearly teasing me with betterment. At vitality's prime, my body is focused upon a reiterated fall. I am beginning to question its validity as a segregated illness, and more so on possible alternate factors.
T... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 30, 2011, 9:47 pm
Current Symptoms:
Deep pain in the joints of ankles
Dry, brittle skin
Stomach cramps extending along thighs of legs
Nausea extending down the spine and along the sides of the neck
Bloating of the stomach to a point less than pregnancy
Stomach aches
Inability to tolerate anything other than baked fi... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 27, 2011, 8:15 pm
The infamous working grounds of potential, through a procedure known as the UVBI, to a storyteller's level: the morning, I felt exultant (at least in response to the suspense-worthy illness I had been carrying under the pretenses it was something else). I had gained something, a small dash of hope w... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
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Mar 22, 2011, 9:51 pm
A quick update:
I have suffered for the past three weeks with a teaser trailer bug. Due to this, Dr X called for a UBVI cleansing blood treatment to help heal from it. The nurse was ill.
This morning, I caught her sickness. Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
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Mar 18, 2011, 9:25 pm
I fear appointments with Dr X. He has the ability to spearhead the coping mechanism of blissful unknowing with a reality beyond the grasp of those even in the know.
Unlike myself, I have maintained a sense of apathy toward the idea of betterment from a place of fear. If I truly let myself want what... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 14, 2011, 7:34 pm
The following is a useful explanation passed unto me via an alternate Lyme family, attempting to bridge the swelling divide of those who know and those who don't. Chronic illness is the theme, and the life it posed as option. Without further ado, "The Spoon Theory" by Christine Miserandino:
"My bes... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 12, 2011, 5:27 pm
This may be extremely odd, but I have decided, in a vastly desirous state to share my story, to add photos to the mix.
Schedule:
8:00 am- The experience of waking so utterly painful (as a result of seeing much worth it theater the night before whilst incubating the flu) I was nearly paralyzed with... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 11, 2011, 3:58 pm
In order to bring this blog back to its assumed breathing efficiency, I will begin a new segment. Well, it is less of a segment, more of a passageway: a photo diary of my entry through treatment and the Lyme Lifestyle.
I feel incredibly social and a strong desire to connect with those who "understa... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 11, 2011, 3:31 pm
Next To Normal, a broadway show staging Bipolar Disorder has come to the 5th Ave (a theater known for its crowd pleasers, a not entirely flattering depiction). I barely made it through the first act, but what I did see was the most hilarious take on psychiatry I have encountered in quite some time.
... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Mar 9, 2011, 6:16 pm
I am going to make more of an effort to write here, less of an effort to write well. I'm sure you'll understand the compromise.
I now realize what I am capable of with the information I have on my back (weighing me down, so I might as well make use of it). In short, I want to:
A) Reach out through... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 3, 2010, 10:08 pm
I am currently focusing on two of focused acts:
1) heavy metal detoxification
2) nutritional fortification
Heavy metal detox has been extremely painful (side note: certain antibiotics can also act as chelators). I have been using both Micro Silica and DMPS injections as chelators (another note: chel... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Dec 3, 2010, 5:49 pm
My doctor, whose name I shall hold beneath a cloak of anonymity, is in the words of Juno, "totally boss." His knowledge astounds me, thrusts me within a realm of conscious blow hard quietude.
Yesterday, I was muscle tested by the shimmering brilliance housed with balding grey and slender fingers. H... Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
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Dec 3, 2010, 5:47 pm
For the first time in years, I am happy. In the midst of trauma and ever evolving crisis, I am happy. Deep within myself within my fibrous being, I am happy.
This is momentous.
I feel brave. Comment - Like
Lindsay posted an article on
Zest: Trials with Chronic Lyme Disease
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Nov 21, 2010, 8:59 pm
I feel horrible now.
My life is a nut shell.
I am 100% on board.
I have blood tests weekly.
I see my natureopath as often, my doctor every two months.
I drank a glass of wine in Canada, a place with consumption ages from nineteen on. It helped me sleep.
I tried it at home. Now I feel off. Off.
Nug... Comment - Like
Looking to spread information about Lyme Disease and find those in a similar position: chronically ill and shuffling through treatment. A lover of film, freak folk, french anything, and medicine, I guess I'd like to say I'm more diverse than the simple context of the disease. Let the chakra healing begin.
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