calif mom

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Going To Bed Salsa

calif mom posted an article on - Feb 7, 2012, 2:40 am
We crawl into bed. I ask for room for my legs. Not for right now. Right now they'll be wrapped up with yours. But later I'll need to stretch, and they'll need room. And I ask for our Starting Point...
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Baths And Laughs

calif mom posted an article on - Feb 5, 2012, 1:10 am
We spent the day in the City—laughing at SF Sketchfest's showing of Best in Show and Q & A with Fred Willard and Michael Hitchcock then exploring the Sutro Baths ruins. Oh, and we grabbed a quick...
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Humpday Nails

calif mom posted an article on - Feb 1, 2012, 9:57 pm
I used to pay to get my nails done. Then, I'm not sure if I got lazy or creative, but suddenly I began taking an interest in doing them myself. First, pedicures, then my fingernails. Initially, it...
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I'M BOOOOOOORRRRRRED

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 26, 2012, 3:26 pm
Got a bored kid? Tired of hearing "I'M BOOOORRRRRREEEEDDDDDD." "What can I doooooooo???????" Here's what you need: paper crayons/pens/colored pencils/some kind of drawing implement or magazine...
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Before And After Photos

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 24, 2012, 8:36 pm
When I look through my pictures, I define them all in my head as before and after photos. Before Bob died. And after. I wonder, like one wonders if she looks different after losing her...
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BTW, He's Dead

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 19, 2012, 12:04 am
I feel, sometimes, like that's how it goes. I get an email asking for his signature, or a piece of mail, or some such thing. I reply. Sometimes I soften the blow for the recipient. Sometimes—fuck...
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Tomayto, Tomahto, Donkey, Rabbit, Prick

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 16, 2012, 9:42 pm
So, I'm killing time, waiting to hear some news. No matter what happens, my day has been made perfect by this: I've also discovered, after twenty+ years, that I CAN DRINK BEER. Well, some kinds of...
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Shock: The Blurry Bits

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 15, 2012, 4:06 am
It's normal, I suppose–all of the bits and pieces I can't remember. Something will trigger a slice of a memory, but I can't find the pieces the go around that memory; I can't fill it in. I don't...
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This Cat—He's Mine

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 6, 2012, 10:34 pm
I sit, watching him work, for me. He is working his ass off . . . for me and for us and for our family—all of us. I wait to find out whether or not all of that hard work will pay off. I hope, for...
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Pumpkin Farts?

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 6, 2012, 4:20 am
It's 1:30am. My bedroom smells like pumpkin farts and a cold I'm tired of having. Depression is wrapping its bony fingers around my shoulders as it often does when I can't do things—when I'm useless....
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All Of The Sick: NyQuil Jackson Moonwalks

calif mom posted an article on - Jan 4, 2012, 8:38 pm
For Christmas, I had the stomach flu. For the new year, I decided I'd kick it off with a cold. WTF, kids? I haven't had this many illnesses in a row since my children were in preschool. Oh, wait. We...
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Crossing The Bridge From 2011 To 2012

calif mom posted an article on - Dec 31, 2011, 11:50 pm
See you later, 2011. Catch you all on the flip-side.        
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Wants Vs Needs: Merry Widowmass

calif mom posted an article on - Dec 26, 2011, 2:05 am
I remembered to make a list of what I wanted for Christmas this year. What I forgot was to make a list of what I would need—namely, what I would need for Christmas Day. I needed a gift of strength...
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Day 3: Operation Eleanor - Trust Me

calif mom posted an article on - Nov 3, 2011, 6:47 pm
Oh, paperwork, the bane of my existence. Sometimes it's because I loathe the paper, but others it's because of the actual content of the paperwork. This was a combination of the two. Today, I took...
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Tools To Get Help You Survive Fall With Kids

calif mom posted an article on - Nov 2, 2011, 10:32 pm
Schmoop: This site is an excellent resource for those nights when your thirteen-year-old comes to you after dinner, just before bedtime, and says she needs help with her thesis statement about...
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Day 2: Operation Eleanor

calif mom posted an article on - Nov 2, 2011, 12:06 pm
No delay today. Decided to jump right in. Today, I started off by calling to make an appointment with a new dentist, something I've put off for far too long. I hate the phone. I hate making...
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Leaping: Day 1

calif mom posted an article on - Nov 1, 2011, 7:01 pm
When Bob died, the world flipped in every direction, and not everybody flipped along with me. Some family members hated me. Some still do. Some friends disappeared. Some reappeared. Some friends did...
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What Are You Doing That Scares You? Day 1

calif mom posted an article on - Nov 1, 2011, 2:23 pm
It's Day 1 of the month-long challenge to do something that scares you each day. What are you doing today? I'll tell, if you will. Meet you back here tonight with my answer.
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Fall Faux Toes

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 26, 2011, 3:57 pm
                  What? They harvest in the fall!
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I Do Not Visit His Grave: Blame The Frog

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 24, 2011, 10:22 pm
There are many places I feel his presence, but I do not visit his grave. I've never seen his headstone, never traced my fingers over his name in the cold granite, never sat upon the grass covering...
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Hauntings

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 24, 2011, 12:35 am
When Bob and I got married Halloween weekend, I never thought that our anniversary would come to mean something other than a happy occasion for me. As I widow, I've learned that dates can haunt you....
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Could You? For 30 Days?

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 18, 2011, 11:53 pm
Could you? Would you? Do one thing every day that scared you? For 30 days? I'm considering it, but it scare me. Will you join me in the challenge? November. 30 Days to push yourself to do the...
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We Talk

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 15, 2011, 3:42 am
We talk About our fears Our broken bits The perfect pieces The hidden corners nobody else has seen. We talk About our future Our mistakes Our shortcomings The way we fell in love. We... ...
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The Pieces I Keep: Notes

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 14, 2011, 10:52 pm
They tell a story. I piece together those final days from the notes in my iPhone. I piece together those final months of doctor's appointments. His vital signs, which I'd record every time we'd...
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These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things: Stuff I Like

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 12, 2011, 3:05 am
I haven't done one of these in a bit, and short of of telling you what else I've created out of figs this week, I thought I'd share some of my favorite things with you. This first one is actually...
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Online Dating: Some Tips

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 8, 2011, 1:21 am
It's no secret my boyfriend and I met through Match.com. While I didn't go on a lot of dates through online sites, I looked at a metric fuckton of profiles. The boyfriend DID do his share of dating...
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Colored Ribbons: Fucking Cancer

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 5, 2011, 8:32 pm
Steve Jobs' death was just announced. In a month awash with pink for one of only many types of cancers, I can't help but be pissed. Are we really working to cure cancer or are we creating industries...
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Profiting Off Breast Cancer: Eli Lilly Closes The Loop

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 4, 2011, 12:20 pm
In 2008, Eli Lilly purchased Posilac, Monsanto’s controversial hormone that is used to boost milk production in cows. You know it better at rRBGH. This artificial hormone used to...
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There's A Cougar In My Car: Meet NavaHo

calif mom posted an article on - Oct 3, 2011, 8:41 pm
I get bored with the usual GPS systems. They have that robotic voice or a boring set of voices to choose from. They get bossy. I talk back. They keep telling me what to do. I keep talking back. Have...
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Touchdown Mermaid: Playing With The Big-Girl Camera

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 29, 2011, 6:07 pm
I have no idea what I'm doing with the big-girl camera, but I have fun. I love the backs of flowers.   My sexy-ass BBQist. That look makes me all melty. This mushroom looks a bit up-skirty. I...
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Dreams: A Widow's World

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 24, 2011, 2:37 am
I dreamt about Bob. I don't have dreams about him often, but when I do, they're vivd. He was alive, but still sick. He'd come back, but he was still going to die. He knew. We knew.
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Uniquely Them: Cooking On The Fly

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 23, 2011, 1:19 am
Bug ate dinner after the rest of us tonight and wanted to cook it himself. He decided to make pasta and asked me for some advice on making the sauce. He was making spaghetti and wanted a cream sauce,...
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It's Not Painted On

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 20, 2011, 4:09 am

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Procrastination: Why My Taxes Aren't Done

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 18, 2011, 9:06 pm
We all have our reasons for not getting things done on time. In this case I'm playing the "widow card," but not for the reasons you might think. Yes, I loathe paperwork. Hate paper, actually. I own a...
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James Brown Rice And Egg Carton Caterpillars

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 17, 2011, 12:03 am
And sometimes, no matter how many crafts they make out of egg cartons and pipe cleaners... No matter how many model airplanes they build... There will still be moments when you find yourself...
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Tools Of The Trade: Painting Without Trashing The Table

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 16, 2011, 9:24 pm
Need to keep your child's paper from slipping while they paint or draw? An inexpensive roll of blue painter's tape works like a charm and doubles as a way to hang the artwork when it's...
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Duplicates

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 15, 2011, 10:41 pm
I wonder if it's possible to find true love based on the number of duplicate possessions a coupling produces. Think about it. Match.com is missing out on a huge opportunity here. Even if what the...
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Humpday Fun: Taking A Photo Walk At Home

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 14, 2011, 9:21 pm
Sometimes the best place to take a photo walk is in your own back yard. Literally.
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Viewing 9/11 As A Widow And A Mother

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 10, 2011, 10:12 pm
My daughter came home from school in a funk on Friday. She wanted to sit in her father's chair, which we keep in the living room. She was anxious and stressed out after dinner. She wanted a lot of...
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Oops: I Broked It

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 8, 2011, 2:17 am
Seems I done broke mah RSS feed (well, one of them) when I migrated my blog over to Squarespace. Oops. Pretty sure it's all sparkly unicorn poop now and anybody previously missing out on my nuggets...
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Tattoos And Sandwiches: Gifts From The Grave

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 7, 2011, 1:51 am
Bob hated tattoos. He thought they were a fast-track to hell, a leftover from his conservative Catholic upbringing that had convinced him that tattoos were a form of inflicting damage upon the temple...
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How We Labored

calif mom posted an article on - Sep 6, 2011, 3:10 am
We picked pears from our tree in the back yard. Pretty sure I heard it say thank you. It took two of us to carry the basket. Peanut made chocolate chocolate-chip ice cream with the wee ones,...
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A Perfect Birthday

calif mom posted an article on - Jul 11, 2011, 1:44 pm
A swing in our yard. A hot tub delivery. A perfect dinner. A day spent together. The best guy. The perfect birthday.
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And Now, We Merge: Moving In Together

calif mom posted an article on - Jul 5, 2011, 5:43 pm
His things, my things. So. Many. Spatulas. But, those are the unimportant bits.
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INTERNET! Oh, And WE MOVED

calif mom posted an article on - Jun 30, 2011, 5:25 pm
Been a wee bit busy 'round these parts doing things like moving into a new house for the first time in fourteen years! (Details to follow in another post because I'm still digging my way out of boxes...
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Chicago Jaunt

calif mom posted an article on - Jun 22, 2011, 2:06 pm
It was a quick trip to Chicago, but the city never disappoints. I'll miss you, Chi Town.
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Sunflower Seeds

calif mom posted an article on - Jun 16, 2011, 1:03 am
I'm working on a migraine. Like it's a project or something. Hopefully I'll be done with it in a few hours thanks to modern medicine and a strategically-placed Sponge Bob ice pack. I had this memory...
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The Gift I Can't Give Her

calif mom posted an article on - Jun 11, 2011, 7:21 pm
The sadness pops up everywhere. I keep trying to shove it back into a hole so I can be happy for her birthday, but it won't stay down. It won't stay stuck inside.
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Milestones: More On the Horizon

calif mom posted an article on - Jun 8, 2011, 2:20 am
It's just days away, but every time I look at her, I can't believe he's going to miss it. Peanut turns thirteen this year. Bob would have been so proud of her. I am so proud of her. She is...
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Limbo: Can You Do That Dance?

calif mom posted an article on - Jun 6, 2011, 10:41 pm
I loved roller skating as a kid in the suburbs, but we moved to the country by the time I was ten, and that meant very little in the way of paved surfaces for my skates. So, the only skating I did...
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About Me

uncorked in the summer of '69

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