calif mom posted an article on califmom - Feb 7, 2012, 2:40 am
We crawl into bed. I ask for room for my legs. Not for right now. Right now they'll be wrapped up with yours. But later I'll need to stretch, and they'll need room. And I ask for our Starting Point...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Feb 5, 2012, 1:10 am
We spent the day in the City—laughing at SF Sketchfest's showing of Best in Show and Q & A with Fred Willard and Michael Hitchcock then exploring the Sutro Baths ruins. Oh, and we grabbed a quick...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Feb 1, 2012, 9:57 pm
I used to pay to get my nails done. Then, I'm not sure if I got lazy or creative, but suddenly I began taking an interest in doing them myself. First, pedicures, then my fingernails. Initially, it...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 26, 2012, 3:26 pm
Got a bored kid? Tired of hearing "I'M BOOOORRRRRREEEEDDDDDD." "What can I doooooooo???????" Here's what you need: paper crayons/pens/colored pencils/some kind of drawing implement or magazine...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 24, 2012, 8:36 pm
When I look through my pictures, I define them all in my head as before and after photos. Before Bob died. And after. I wonder, like one wonders if she looks different after losing her...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 19, 2012, 12:04 am
I feel, sometimes, like that's how it goes. I get an email asking for his signature, or a piece of mail, or some such thing. I reply. Sometimes I soften the blow for the recipient. Sometimes—fuck...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 16, 2012, 9:42 pm
So, I'm killing time, waiting to hear some news. No matter what happens, my day has been made perfect by this: I've also discovered, after twenty+ years, that I CAN DRINK BEER. Well, some kinds of...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 15, 2012, 4:06 am
It's normal, I suppose–all of the bits and pieces I can't remember. Something will trigger a slice of a memory, but I can't find the pieces the go around that memory; I can't fill it in. I don't...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 6, 2012, 10:34 pm
I sit, watching him work, for me. He is working his ass off . . . for me and for us and for our family—all of us. I wait to find out whether or not all of that hard work will pay off. I hope, for...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 6, 2012, 4:20 am
It's 1:30am. My bedroom smells like pumpkin farts and a cold I'm tired of having. Depression is wrapping its bony fingers around my shoulders as it often does when I can't do things—when I'm useless....
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jan 4, 2012, 8:38 pm
For Christmas, I had the stomach flu. For the new year, I decided I'd kick it off with a cold. WTF, kids? I haven't had this many illnesses in a row since my children were in preschool. Oh, wait. We...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Dec 31, 2011, 11:50 pm
See you later, 2011. Catch you all on the flip-side.        
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Dec 26, 2011, 2:05 am
I remembered to make a list of what I wanted for Christmas this year. What I forgot was to make a list of what I would need—namely, what I would need for Christmas Day. I needed a gift of strength...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Nov 3, 2011, 6:47 pm
Oh, paperwork, the bane of my existence. Sometimes it's because I loathe the paper, but others it's because of the actual content of the paperwork. This was a combination of the two. Today, I took...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Nov 2, 2011, 10:32 pm
Schmoop: This site is an excellent resource for those nights when your thirteen-year-old comes to you after dinner, just before bedtime, and says she needs help with her thesis statement about...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Nov 2, 2011, 12:06 pm
No delay today. Decided to jump right in. Today, I started off by calling to make an appointment with a new dentist, something I've put off for far too long. I hate the phone. I hate making...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Nov 1, 2011, 7:01 pm
When Bob died, the world flipped in every direction, and not everybody flipped along with me. Some family members hated me. Some still do. Some friends disappeared. Some reappeared. Some friends did...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Nov 1, 2011, 2:23 pm
It's Day 1 of the month-long challenge to do something that scares you each day. What are you doing today? I'll tell, if you will. Meet you back here tonight with my answer.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 26, 2011, 3:57 pm
                  What? They harvest in the fall!
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 24, 2011, 10:22 pm
There are many places I feel his presence, but I do not visit his grave. I've never seen his headstone, never traced my fingers over his name in the cold granite, never sat upon the grass covering...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 24, 2011, 12:35 am
When Bob and I got married Halloween weekend, I never thought that our anniversary would come to mean something other than a happy occasion for me. As I widow, I've learned that dates can haunt you....
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 18, 2011, 11:53 pm
Could you? Would you? Do one thing every day that scared you? For 30 days? I'm considering it, but it scare me. Will you join me in the challenge? November. 30 Days to push yourself to do the...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 15, 2011, 3:42 am
We talk About our fears Our broken bits The perfect pieces The hidden corners nobody else has seen. We talk About our future Our mistakes Our shortcomings The way we fell in love. We... ...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 14, 2011, 10:52 pm
They tell a story. I piece together those final days from the notes in my iPhone. I piece together those final months of doctor's appointments. His vital signs, which I'd record every time we'd...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 12, 2011, 3:05 am
I haven't done one of these in a bit, and short of of telling you what else I've created out of figs this week, I thought I'd share some of my favorite things with you. This first one is actually...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 8, 2011, 1:21 am
It's no secret my boyfriend and I met through Match.com. While I didn't go on a lot of dates through online sites, I looked at a metric fuckton of profiles. The boyfriend DID do his share of dating...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 5, 2011, 8:32 pm
Steve Jobs' death was just announced. In a month awash with pink for one of only many types of cancers, I can't help but be pissed. Are we really working to cure cancer or are we creating industries...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 4, 2011, 12:20 pm
In 2008, Eli Lilly purchased Posilac, Monsanto’s controversial hormone that is used to boost milk production in cows. You know it better at rRBGH. This artificial hormone used to...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Oct 3, 2011, 8:41 pm
I get bored with the usual GPS systems. They have that robotic voice or a boring set of voices to choose from. They get bossy. I talk back. They keep telling me what to do. I keep talking back. Have...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 29, 2011, 6:07 pm
I have no idea what I'm doing with the big-girl camera, but I have fun. I love the backs of flowers.   My sexy-ass BBQist. That look makes me all melty. This mushroom looks a bit up-skirty. I...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 24, 2011, 2:37 am
I dreamt about Bob. I don't have dreams about him often, but when I do, they're vivd. He was alive, but still sick. He'd come back, but he was still going to die. He knew. We knew.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 23, 2011, 1:19 am
Bug ate dinner after the rest of us tonight and wanted to cook it himself. He decided to make pasta and asked me for some advice on making the sauce. He was making spaghetti and wanted a cream sauce,...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 20, 2011, 4:09 am

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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 18, 2011, 9:06 pm
We all have our reasons for not getting things done on time. In this case I'm playing the "widow card," but not for the reasons you might think. Yes, I loathe paperwork. Hate paper, actually. I own a...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 17, 2011, 12:03 am
And sometimes, no matter how many crafts they make out of egg cartons and pipe cleaners... No matter how many model airplanes they build... There will still be moments when you find yourself...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 16, 2011, 9:24 pm
Need to keep your child's paper from slipping while they paint or draw? An inexpensive roll of blue painter's tape works like a charm and doubles as a way to hang the artwork when it's...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 15, 2011, 10:41 pm
I wonder if it's possible to find true love based on the number of duplicate possessions a coupling produces. Think about it. Match.com is missing out on a huge opportunity here. Even if what the...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 14, 2011, 9:21 pm
Sometimes the best place to take a photo walk is in your own back yard. Literally.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 10, 2011, 10:12 pm
My daughter came home from school in a funk on Friday. She wanted to sit in her father's chair, which we keep in the living room. She was anxious and stressed out after dinner. She wanted a lot of...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 8, 2011, 2:17 am
Seems I done broke mah RSS feed (well, one of them) when I migrated my blog over to Squarespace. Oops. Pretty sure it's all sparkly unicorn poop now and anybody previously missing out on my nuggets...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 7, 2011, 1:51 am
Bob hated tattoos. He thought they were a fast-track to hell, a leftover from his conservative Catholic upbringing that had convinced him that tattoos were a form of inflicting damage upon the temple...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Sep 6, 2011, 3:10 am
We picked pears from our tree in the back yard. Pretty sure I heard it say thank you. It took two of us to carry the basket. Peanut made chocolate chocolate-chip ice cream with the wee ones,...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jul 11, 2011, 1:44 pm
A swing in our yard. A hot tub delivery. A perfect dinner. A day spent together. The best guy. The perfect birthday.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jul 5, 2011, 5:43 pm
His things, my things. So. Many. Spatulas. But, those are the unimportant bits.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jun 30, 2011, 5:25 pm
Been a wee bit busy 'round these parts doing things like moving into a new house for the first time in fourteen years! (Details to follow in another post because I'm still digging my way out of boxes...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jun 22, 2011, 2:06 pm
It was a quick trip to Chicago, but the city never disappoints. I'll miss you, Chi Town.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jun 16, 2011, 1:03 am
I'm working on a migraine. Like it's a project or something. Hopefully I'll be done with it in a few hours thanks to modern medicine and a strategically-placed Sponge Bob ice pack. I had this memory...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jun 11, 2011, 7:21 pm
The sadness pops up everywhere. I keep trying to shove it back into a hole so I can be happy for her birthday, but it won't stay down. It won't stay stuck inside.
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jun 8, 2011, 2:20 am
It's just days away, but every time I look at her, I can't believe he's going to miss it. Peanut turns thirteen this year. Bob would have been so proud of her. I am so proud of her. She is...
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calif mom posted an article on califmom - Jun 6, 2011, 10:41 pm
I loved roller skating as a kid in the suburbs, but we moved to the country by the time I was ten, and that meant very little in the way of paved surfaces for my skates. So, the only skating I did...
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