Mikel Classen

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JOHN LENNON'S TOILET, SOME OF HIS BEST WORK WAS CONCIEVED HERE

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 31, 2010, 4:23 pm
Should there be limit to what qualifies as memorabilia? I mean really, I can understand autographs and musical instruments, but isn’t this getting bit too personal, John Lennon’s crapper? A toilet that belonged to late Beatle John Lennon fetched 9,500 pounds ($14,740) at auction on Saturday, ar...
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MIRACLE TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH, ROBOT PAIRS SOCKS!

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 30, 2010, 1:52 pm
Once again our educational experts have succeeded in showing us the epitome of American education in action. In a major breakthrough for robot technology, a team of experts from a major US university have taught a robot how to pair socks. Very slowly. So slowly in fact, that it could take years for ...
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VENEZUELAN POLITICIAN FUNDS CAMPAIGN WITH RAFFLE, STEP RIGHT UP TO BUY YOUR CHANCE AT BREAST IMPLANTS

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 27, 2010, 5:15 pm
  I’ve heard of a lot of things being offered for campaign funding in politics, but this one is definately original. Gustavo Rojas, a candidate for Venezuela’s National Assembly is raffling off breast implants to raise money for his campaign. I’m waiting for the politically correct police to...
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WHAT DOES A RUBIK'S CUBE, A LIFE RAFT, AND SKYDIVING HAVE IN COMMON? AN IDIOT, OF COURSE!

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 25, 2010, 11:36 am
Look Ma, at least I’m wearing a helmet. Yeah, a lot of good that’s going to do when you’re tangled up in a life raft while plunging 13,000 feet towards the earth while trying to solve a Rubik’s cube. I case you haven’t already figured this out, I’m not really onboard with this idea. As i...
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WILD PIGS NO SHOW FOR MONTANA WRESTLING MATCH, NOTE SAYS "PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE."

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 23, 2010, 3:05 pm
Every once in a while, animals prove they are smarter than people which in many cases, doesn’t take much. A wild pig wrestling competition at a Montana county fair has had to be put on hold after the animals went missing ahead of the event. Somehow, the pigs got wind that they were the main even...
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MARIJUANA FIELDS GUARDED BY BEARS. STONEY THE BEAR SAYS: ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT POT LOSS!

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 19, 2010, 7:45 pm
I have to admit, this one is original. A marijuana farm in western Canada has been raided by police, but officers were left shocked when they found bears guarding it. I’m thinking they may have had to clean out some trousers. I live in the north woods, bears aren’t something to be messed with. ...
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WOULD YOU STREAK BARACK OBAMA FOR A COOL MILLION DOLLARS?

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 17, 2010, 6:24 pm
Are you up for a bet? A British billionaire, Alki David, has offered $1 million to the first person who manages to streak naked in front of Barack Obama. Somehow I’m thinking that a mil isn’t quite enough. He had originally offered $100,000 but was told that wasn’t enough.  Three months ago ...
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SERBIAN TESTICLE FESTIVAL HOPES TO TEMPT TOURISTS WITH TASTY TREATS

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 13, 2010, 1:23 pm
Chew on this. Tourism chiefs in Serbia are hoping their annual testicle cooking competition will do for the region what whisky did for Scotland. Let’s see, whiskey, testicles. Hmm, gotta go with the whiskey. Here’s an idea doomed to failure. The only thing this will attract are man-bashing, imma...
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PEDOPHILE LOSES CASH TO 13-YEAR-OLD SWINDLE, ASKS DAD FOR REFUND. CAN YOU SAY "JAIL TIME?"

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 12, 2010, 2:15 pm
A man in Stockholm, Sweden approached the father of a 13-year-old girl who did not show up to an arranged sex meet on the internet, demanding the refund of an advance payment deposited in the girl’s bank account, according to a report in the Metro daily. First off, as P.T. Barnum says, there’s...
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RUSSIAN MAN DIES IN FINLAND SAUNA COMPETITION, DARWIN AWARD PENDING!

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 9, 2010, 1:51 pm
Yes, I agree, this isn’t funny, it’s just stupid. A Russian man died in the finals of the world sauna championships in Finland after spending some six minutes sweltering in temperatures of 110 degrees Celsius (230.00F), organizers said Sunday. I’ve slow roasted a piece of meat at those tempera...
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OHIO WOMAN CALLS 911 FOR DATE, GETS ONE FOR COURT

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 4, 2010, 7:01 pm
I guess desperate times calls for desperate acts. Bernadette Music, 43, of Norwood, Ohio, faces charges after authorities said she repeatedly phoned 911 while drunk to ask the dispatchers for help getting a date. It appears she was definately not music to their ears. Can you say “hard up?̶...
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BATMAN AND WONDER WOMAN GET MARRIED IN BRITAIN

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Aug 3, 2010, 10:14 am
Ok, I have to say that I’m a bit dismayed about this one. I always thought Batman and Catwoman would get together. But in a ceremony this weekend Batman married Wonder Woman in a superhero wedding bash. Who knew they were dating. The couple, from Cullompton in Devon in the U.K. said they ca...
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BOG SNORKELLING COMPETITION IN NORTHERN IRELAND

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Jul 29, 2010, 4:45 pm
Once again welcome to the wide world of strange things people do for entertainment. This one’s a doozy. Above is pictured this year’s winner, Fiona Mehan from Ballyshannon, Donegal, as she rises from the muck at the Northern Ireland Bog Snorkelling Championships. Yep, I said bog snor...
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DARTH VADER NO LONGER INTERESTED IN REBELLION, PREFERS COLD CASH AT NEW YORK BANK!

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Jul 26, 2010, 3:57 pm
Apparently the rebellion is waning and Darth Vader is out of a job. Or so it would seem as he was last sighted robbing a bank in New York. Armed with a gun instead of a light saber, the man entered a Chase bank branch in Setauket, New York, about 50 miles east of New York City, on Thursday and deman...
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JEFF PECKMAN EXTRATERRESTRIAL AFFAIRS COMMISSION, M.I.B. ALIEN GREEN CARDS FOR LITTLE GREEN MEN?

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 1, 2010, 6:43 pm
  Jeff Peckman, whom I find endlessly entertaining, is a Denver, Colorado citizen that has been trying to get an initiative started through the city of Denver that would create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission to prepare the city to deal with aliens, alien invasion, alien peeping Toms (his...
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HAPLESS – BAD NAME FOR A THIEF

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Apr 5, 2010, 5:09 pm
Sometimes a person’s name can be very revealing about what life might throw at them. My reasoning here is simple. Take the case of these two Polish guys. Thieves, Hapless Kaszubski, 20, and his friend Patryk Arciszewski, 19, stole a 449 pound safe from a seaside guest house in Kolobzreg befo...
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ANTIQUE FRENCH SEX TOYS SOLD AT AUCTION, ANONYMOUS BIDDER SATISFIED WITH ITEMS

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Mar 25, 2010, 5:01 pm
Prostitution may be considered the world’s oldest profession, but it looks like the development of sex toys may not have been far behind. Two wooden phalluses, one measuring ten inches and the other a whopping 11 inches, were bought by an anonymous bidder for $5,300 at an auction in Brentwood...
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ALASKAN SWAT TEAM FAILS TO SAVE PIZZA

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Mar 23, 2010, 1:35 pm
“Put your hands up, this is a robbery, we want all of your pizza.” Now I’m guessing this was an act of serious stir-crazy after a long winter in Alaska, but as we go through this tale of evil and woe other theories may arise. In Anchorage, Alaska, police say a plot to steal a del...
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JEDI REMOVED FROM JOBCENTER BY EMPIRE SECURITY GUARDS. NO NEED FOR LIGHTSABERS, HE'S SUING

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Mar 17, 2010, 2:07 pm
Does this guy even remotely look like a Jedi? Of course not. I’ve seen Jedi’s, we all have, this dude doesn’t look anything like Yoda or Obi Wan Kenobi. And lo, he has been mistreated by the evil minions of the Empire. A JEDI believer, Chris Jarvis a 31 year-old from Britain, has ...
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NANNY ROBOTS FOR CHILD CARE

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Jun 5, 2008, 2:03 pm
When I was younger, ugh, I hate to go there, one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes was taken from a great Ray Bradbury story called “I Sing the Body Electric.” It’s about a group of children that lose their mother and the Father, who has to work all day goes and gets an android nanny to ca...
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TRYING TO SEE DEAD PEOPLE

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Jun 2, 2008, 1:24 pm
Paranormal societies and ghost hunter groups are popping up all over. Unlike the tortured little boy in the movie the Sixth Sense who sees apparitions of the dead unintentionally, these people are going out and daily trying to stir up haunts from the other side. Personally, I think flirting with the...
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JEFF PECKMAN'S DENVER SPACE ALIEN INITIATIVE AGAIN

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 29, 2008, 10:37 pm
Jeff Peckman, a Denver, Colorado citizen has been trying to get an initiative started through the city of Denver that would create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission to prepare the city to deal with aliens. Now he is claiming to have footage of an alien peeking inside of someone’s window. Grea...
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ROBOTS TO STIR SOUP

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 28, 2008, 12:07 pm
In Britain a $2 million dollar grant has been awarded to a company to develop a robot that can stir soup. Why does this seem stupid to me? It is funded by the European Commission and they feel it is a way to introduce robots into the service industry. I guess Americans aren’t the only ones that ha...
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COP BUSTED FOR PARKING IN HANDICAPPED AT DONUT SHOP

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 27, 2008, 12:42 pm
Have you ever thought, hmm. I’ll only be a minute so I’ll just grab the handicapped spot? Sure, you have. You may not have done it, but you’ve thought it. In Missassauga, Ontario a police officer thought that and got caught. He decided to run into a Tim Horton’s coffee and donut shop, grab a...
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FIDO GETS XEROXED

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 23, 2008, 2:40 pm
A northern California biotech company has announced that it will hold five online auctions to have your dog cloned. Yes now you can get copies of your favorite fido. The only thing is that the minimum bid is $100,000. Well, that’s a bit steep to pay for a dog, even if it is genetically engineered....
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STONER FAILS TO SEE COP WHEN BARTERING WITH POT

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 22, 2008, 1:18 pm
First rule, when you go into the party store to pay for your munchies, make sure you have enough money. Second rule, if you don’t, put something back. Third rule, look around at your surroundings. Fourth rule, and this is the big one, don’t try to pay with pot when a cop is standing behind you i...
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PILOT AND STEWARDESS' NIGHT OF DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY GOES BAD

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 21, 2008, 1:11 pm
We’ve all heard about the pilot and stewardess tales, flitting from one destination to the other having affairs on their layovers and in general partying in all of those wonderful exotic locations. This story shatters that dreamy idyllic illusion. Yes there are a million stories with the naked pil...
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GHOST CAUSES CAR CRASHES - WHO YA GONNA CALL?

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 20, 2008, 1:07 pm
You’re driving along a country road at night and you see a little girl in the middle of the road. You swerve, and next thing you know you’re in the ditch. You get out to make sure the little girl is alright and she’s gone, just like she wasn’t there. Well that’s supposedly what’s happeni...
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THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE TASERED

Mikel Classen posted an article on - May 19, 2008, 11:30 am
In Boulder, Colorado, two men stood looking at each other, staring into one another’s eyes, waiting for the other to draw. Cue music from old Clint Eastwood, spaghetti western. Our story begins with a dispute. They always do. Harvey Epstein, a restaurant owner and Casey Dane, a supervisor for Secu...
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WIN A CHANCE TO BLOW-UP TEXAS STADIUM

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Dec 31, 1969, 7:00 pm
Some lucky contest winner is going to get to blow up Texas Stadium. I saw that and I thought, wow, what a cool idea. Now I have to admit, that as a Green Bay Packer fan, getting the chance to blow up the former home of the Dallas Cowboys has a lot of appeal. Here’s for all the times we had to...
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BEPPE BIGAZZI, ITALIAN CHEF, SHARES HIS CAT CASSAROLE RECIPE

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Dec 31, 1969, 7:00 pm
    It had to happen, the world had waited too long. Yes it’s a healthy heart-smart recipe for cats. What? You say? Can’t wait to serve this one up for the family on cassarole night? Yum, I can hardly wait. Beppe Bigazzi, who stars on an Italian cooking television show, said cat meat...
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BRITAIN HOLDING SMELLY URINE CONTEST FOR SAW MOVIE THEME PARK ATTRACTION

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Dec 31, 1969, 7:00 pm
Come one, come all, step right up and pee in a jar. It’s your chance at immortality. Thorpe Park, a theme park in England, is holding a contest for the smelliest urine in the land. If your pee stinks it could be worth around $1000. How would you like to have to be the judge for this one. I won...
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BOTTLED GHOSTS SOLD IN ONLINE AUCTION

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Dec 31, 1969, 7:00 pm
How do you bottle a ghost? It seems a lady in Christchurch, New Zealand has done just that and sold them online for a tidy sum. Shades of P.T. Barnum. This truly proves people will buy anything.  Avie Woodbury sold two glass vials that she said contained the ghosts of an old man and a young girl...
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POLICE HUNT THE NINJA KNITTER OF NEW JERSEY

Mikel Classen posted an article on - Dec 31, 1969, 7:00 pm
 For some reason I’m picturing little old ladies in ninja outfits stalking the streets of West Cape May, New Jersey in the dead of night. Instead of shirkens they wield knitting needles and balls of yarn are ready at a moments notice.  Yes it’s the stuff of legends. And it could be...
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