mike s.

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Plunge in Feigned Interest Ruffles Feathers

mike s. posted an article on - Nov 10, 2009, 5:48 am
By Smia Oots, MY ROOM – Jeez winter’s here really givin’ everybody the bum rush. And so, feigned interest levels have plunged. People all across America (aka ‘the world’...
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Life Metal Gives Hope to Seniors, Pets

mike s. posted an article on - Oct 14, 2009, 9:11 am
By DJ Salinger DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF IKEA – Despite all the bad-mouthing, and the crushing of neighbors’ fingers in doorjambs at 2am, and the laughing and pointing, despite...
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U.S. Not Leaving Afghanistan, Just 'Wants to See Other People for Awhile'

mike s. posted an article on - Oct 7, 2009, 9:27 am
By Barry Hussein, KABUL – U.S.A. America defense minister Robert Gates brushed off rapid fire interrogation from town criers gathered at Denny’s yesterday, as they (the criers) demanded to...
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A Penetrating Look Inside McCain

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 29, 2009, 9:16 am
By Barry Hussein, TORONTO – Maverick Arizona senator and recent candidate for US president John McCain is hard at work, holed up in this identity-lacking town, applying the finishing touches to ...
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Iran's Warheads Win Prestigious Design Award

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 29, 2009, 8:44 am
By Styles Cradgerock, IKEA – This thriving, bustling hustling country of 35 million yey-high design mavens and vixens has long been known worldwide as a hotbed of design ever since its yeh-high ...
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Guns N' Roses Tour Began 2 Years Ago – Minus Axl

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 27, 2009, 12:06 am
By DJ Salinger, TAMPA – Troubling signs that the band formerly known as Guns N’ Roses (the group officially changed their name to N’ earlier this year) mistakenly began the worldwide...
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New TOEIC Test to Include Pillow Talk

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 26, 2009, 8:57 am
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – As you know many foreign man has come to Japan the purpose of which is to sex Japanese woman. At English conversational school and so on such seduction has become aplenty...
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Most Parties Bad, Study Shows

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 26, 2009, 7:56 am
By The Serge, LOS ANGELES – Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies released what amounts to a 35-year landmark study on parties, “Parties: a  Study”, today at Denny’s. Th...
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Number of Female Death Metal Fans Drops

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 25, 2009, 9:21 am
By DJ Salinger, BAFFIN ISLAND – With wind chill temperatures here at already -89C and folks on this sparsely-decorated backward island nation clutching their nether regions with a rabid ferocity...
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Man 'Looks Forward' to Pay Day

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 24, 2009, 9:15 am
By Business Jesus, BOSTON – President Barack Obama has loosed the hounds of hell on the global economic crisis and so far it’s looking up up up for all the world’s workers and friend...
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Irony Apparel a Smash Hit in Williamsburg

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 24, 2009, 6:42 am
By Smia Oots, Brooklyn, WILLIAMSBURG – Four-eyed sneering running-shoe-wearing tattoo-show-offing white-skin-cladding Williamsburg hipsters have bitten onto to something and they just can’...
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Less is More in Beatles Box

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 22, 2009, 6:32 am
By DJ Salinger, LAS VEGAS – Finally, after sweating through the long wait of three months since the last Beatles album was released we can get our rocks off with the just-released 150 album box ...
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I Can't Wait for Winter!

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 22, 2009, 6:00 am
By Dessy Osmonde, Special to The Brutal Times, INDIANA – I can’t wait for winter! Why? Well I can’t wait to freeze my fucking ass off next to the fire. Even with a good solid pair o...
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'I Love Barbie' Says 5-Year-Old Boy

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 10, 2009, 6:43 am
By Yves Dropper, Special to The Brutal Times, TORONTO – As Toronto spreads its broken wings and learns to fly this was a moment that was only waiting to arrive. Picture, if you will, a bright s...
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My Face is Lacking in Primary Oils

mike s. posted an article on - Sep 7, 2009, 8:30 am
By Brenda Vitnower, Special to The Brutal Times – My face is lacking in primary oils. But it’s so oily due to my unbalanced diet and upbringing. Let me explain. Oils is a part of necessi...
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Reality is Worse than TV

mike s. posted an article on - Aug 29, 2009, 3:20 am
By Daemon Mailer, NEW YORK CITY – Millions of Americans are apologizing this morning to their long-suffering tv sets as a landmark report issued in the wee hours is confirming what everybody alr...
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Why The Beatles Broken Up

mike s. posted an article on - Aug 28, 2009, 7:49 am
By DJ Salinger, LAS VEGAS – I met Ringo in a bar. He told me why The Beatles broken up: “I was bored, basically,” he said, “so I quit.” Ringo got so old now I hardly re...
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Old People Live Longer

mike s. posted an article on - Aug 26, 2009, 8:39 am
By El Toro, WASHINGTON – As Barack Obama America’s first president gears up to give all Americans universal health care, folks are leaning back in their chairs and on the couch to conside...
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Man Who Thinks He's Funny, Isn't

mike s. posted an article on - Aug 9, 2009, 5:44 am
By Smia Oots, TORONTO – As sub zero temps blast through this sub-standard city of 17,000 tongues were wagging with a new-found consensus that seemed poised to derail the confidence of at least o...
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Tomb of the Unknown Session Musician Found Under Phil Spector's House

mike s. posted an article on - Aug 3, 2009, 7:42 am
By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Despite the general lack of interest, spell-binding stories keep surfacing regarding sensational superstar pop music producer Phil Spector, now imprisoned for murde...
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Libraries are Killing the Internet

mike s. posted an article on - Aug 3, 2009, 6:41 am
By Daemon Mailer, SAN FRANCISCO – San Francisco, home of the Whopper, pizza, the iPod Touch and the Internet. Its citizens are full of themselves. Ask them for directions and receive the snub o...
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