Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Jan 31, 2012, 3:02 pm
This Saturday, February 4th at 8:30pm, How to Rock premieres on Nickelodeon!
But that’s not all…right after the premiere you get a bonus episode of How to Rock, “How to Rock a Messy Bet” written by me!
So tune in this Saturday! Check your lo... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Jan 29, 2012, 6:03 pm
—who fought her way to the front of the stage after The Strange Boys were told by the person running the show that they had time for two more songs and yelled for them to GET THE FUCK OFF WE WANT THE REIGNING SOUND:
I hope you woke up this morning in a pile of someone else’s vomit... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Oct 10, 2011, 11:34 pm
Last night, Will turned off the light and crawled into bed. I turned to him.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure, he said.
It's the kind of question where I feel like I can only ask you, I told him. The kind where it's one of those things I should know for sure but I h... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Sep 27, 2011, 1:47 pm
Sometimes, I use a flat iron my hair. This probably comes as no shock to you all, although the times I mess about with my hair are few and far between. I have two looks: ponytail and non-ponytail.
"GREAT PONYTAIL!" - no, one ever*
Every time I turn on the flat iron - every sing... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Aug 17, 2011, 11:07 pm
In the late 70s, George Burns starred in Oh God and Oh God, Book II. The movies were in a constant loop on cable a summer later. My brother Jeremy and I watched them over and over (and over and over) until we could recite them from memory. One day, my mom had had enough.
It wasn't that w... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Aug 11, 2011, 3:49 pm
If you want to pick my brain for free, ask yourself these three questions:
1. Am I having sex with you?
2. Am I related to you?
3. Are we BFFs?
If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, then feel free to hit me up. Otherwise, please ask about my rates. Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Aug 9, 2011, 2:40 pm
Dear Internet,
If you want to see photos of when I was 200 pounds, you don't need to skulk through cached versions of my blog. (Because those show up on my webstats, which means trying to hide your tracks is kind of silly.)
They're up on Flickr for all to see, but... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Aug 1, 2011, 6:09 pm
In spin class today, the instructor stepped out for literally 30 seconds. During this time, the guy sitting in front of me picked up his cell phone and SNAPPED A PHOTO IN THE MIRROR. He stashed the phone away as soon as the instructor came back inside.
I work out at the YMCA, which i... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Jun 16, 2011, 1:32 pm
Did you know that Older SlackBrother J has a new game out for the iPhone/iPad?
Jon Lester Hardball Ace gives you a chance to hit off the Red Sox pitcher himself. You can download the game for free here. Register in-game for a chance to win Lester autographed baseballs, jerseys, and mor... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Jun 11, 2011, 9:52 pm
Slackmistress, circa 2004
I just looked at this photo of myself, pulled from the depths of a nearly-dead computer that was sent out to pasture, and thought I don't look half bad with short hair. Maybe I could keep the front short, and just grow out the back.
... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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May 31, 2011, 1:03 pm
Hey There Dude Reading War & Peace While Walking Your Dog,
Most people are content to demonstrate their smartness by walking and chewing gum at the same time, but you, sir, you took that challenge and turned it up to eleven! First I thought perhaps you were working out your biceps with T... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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May 5, 2011, 12:56 am
That first outfit that Andie wears was my dream outfit that I attempted to recreate (poorly.) I don't think there re pictures, although I rocked the vest CONSTANTLY and did a lot of boxy jackets with pins.
If you didn't want to be Annie Potts character Iona in Pretty in Pink when you grew... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Apr 26, 2011, 11:03 pm
Note: This post initially was published a couple of years ago on the comedy blog Pointless Banter, which Bobby Finstock sold for a tube sock full of lube.
I am constantly assaulted by images that the Almighty Cock is King. One Pizza Delivery Guy can turn a couple of les... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Apr 14, 2011, 3:27 pm
Note: This post initially was published a couple of years ago on the comedy blog Pointless Banter, which Bobby Finstock traded for a "gently used" copy of Ted Bundy's address book.
The other day I was scrolling through the “to-do” list on our DVR to make sure that the LOST premiere ... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Mar 3, 2011, 2:23 pm
It's no secret that I adore dogs. I think dogs are the best animals in the universe. Human beings can be petty, cruel, and downright evil and dogs still think we're amazing. Or they at least want to.
It's rare that I go on vacation - Will and I will sneak off for a weekend to Vegas or Sa... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Feb 28, 2011, 11:17 pm
Miss me? You won't soon, because you are about to have so much slackmistress shoved down your throat you're gonna choke on it. That's right! CHOKE ON IT, BITCHES!
Wait, where were we?
Oh, yes: The Oscars. You might have put on a fancy dress and walked the red carpet. Me, I pu... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Feb 9, 2011, 7:30 pm
(Previously published by me on the now-defunct PointlessBanter.com.)
If you’re someone who buys stock in the once-a-year-blowjob economy, then you know that this Monday is Valentine’s Day.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day, whethe... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Jan 20, 2011, 2:02 pm
We're twenty days into this whole 2011 project. I know! I didn't think that 2011 would last, but it seems to have caught on with the kids.
Crowdsourcing New Year's Resolutions was somewhat of a bust. Those who did participate said I should:
1. Make more corny sex jokes. I CAN... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Dec 29, 2010, 4:24 pm
It's the most wonderful time of the year to discover how we irrevocably screwed up the past three hundred and sixty-some days. Wasted hours, ruined relationships, missed opportunities litter the halls with a bloated fat man in a diaper who was way cuter when he was Baby New Year 2010.
Us... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Dec 28, 2010, 5:35 pm
I've been vocal about my thoughts regarding how Hollywood - writers, specifically - have been slow to investigate new technologies. While all of these new technologies and tools can be opportunities for new ways to tell stories, they can also be a way to take the temperature of an audience - somet... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Dec 21, 2010, 11:42 pm
Will & I don't buy presents. For each other or anyone else (except our niece and nephew, who are 6 and 3.) we've had good financial years and bad ones, but we've always preferred having experiences over stuff. Or we buy each other stuff during the year.
(This isn't a dig on anyon... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Dec 2, 2010, 2:21 pm
If you think you've broken your ankle*, I suggest you do it on Twitter.
Thanks to everyone who kept me company (and kept me laughing): Virginia, Caissie, Gene George, Nutcase, John, Miss Grace, LateandSoon, Mocoddle and finally ... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Dec 1, 2010, 1:23 pm
About ten years ago, the phone rang at the SlackFamily homestead. It was just past six in the morning, and younger slackbrother j was the only one home as SlackMom and SlackDad were at the gym.
"Baba...gone!" the voice said on the other end of the line.
"Baba?" younger slackb... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Nov 16, 2010, 4:45 pm
I have been torn about posting about this, because you're not going to change my mind, and my mind hasn't been changed. Comments have been shut off and I will not entertain debate. This is not a democracy, this is my blog.
There is a certain Quarterback named MV who plays for the Eagles.... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Nov 15, 2010, 2:44 pm
There's been a lot of talk lately - on both sides of the equation, about the TSA's new security measures - Backscatter machines, which take photo of you, but sans clothes or pat-downs, which involve a TSA employee touching you - palms facing forward (it used to be backwards), reaching... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Nov 2, 2010, 10:31 pm
So last night was the premiere of the much-anticipated Walking Dead, which began with a law enforcement official shooting a little zombie girl holding a stuffed bunny*.
Will: They don't waste any time, do they?
Me: She was a zombie, it's what you do.
I will have t... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Oct 27, 2010, 3:43 pm
Note: This post initially was published last year on the comedy blog Pointless Banter, which Bobby Finstock sold or abandoned or traded for "gently used" copies of Swank from the Sam Kinison estate on eBay.
Are Bravo's the Real Housewives of Orange County the Worst People in the History ... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Oct 20, 2010, 11:41 am
He used to tell me that I smelled like diapers.
He sat behind me in nearly every class in Junior High due to the cruel nature of the alphabet. He whispered sweet nothings into my ear.
You're fat. You're ugly.
You smell like diapers.
I n Miss Stebel's ... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Oct 11, 2010, 7:13 pm
I never did write about my high school reunion.
Sure, I mentioned it. There was an anecdote. I posted some photos here and there.
People always ask me how I have such a good memory when it comes to middle school and high school. More than half of my professional career has be... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Oct 7, 2010, 1:53 pm
TONIGHT: Savage County premieres on MTV2 at 10CST/11EST.
DURING THE MOVIE:
Director David Harris will be LIVETWEETING the event (and sticking around for the PST/MST airing.)
Follow him: @holycowboy
AFTER THE MOVIE:
Head over to HelpUsEscape.com* and h... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Sep 28, 2010, 3:21 am
At some point, we may have met. At a panel, at a conference, at a meetup, at my house.
We may have crossed paths holding bourbons in a dark, crowded bar, or clutching margaritas in our house. You may have been invited for a cocktail party, for our Christmas Potluck, for no particular reason exce... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Sep 26, 2010, 2:58 pm
On the phone:
Him: HIIIIIIIIIIIII
Me: Hi!
Him: I MISS YOU!
Me: I miss you too!
Him: I LOVE YOU!
Me: I love you too!
Him: DADDY WANTS THE PHONE.
Overheard as he hands the phone back to his father: WHO WAS THAT? Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Sep 7, 2010, 1:55 pm
About a thousand and a half years ago, I wrote (with my then writing-partner brother) on a show called Romeo!
I am not excited. The show was called Romeo!
That's Romeo-Exclamation-Point. I'm not a fan of the mandatory use of punctuation in show titles. It's a little desperate. As in ... Comment - Like
Nina Bargiel aka the slackmistress posted an article on
the slack daily
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Sep 4, 2010, 2:45 pm
Thinking about yesterday's post.
(You guys know I have a Tumblr now, right?)
In sixth grade, my music teacher made me sit next Joey S., a young delinquent in the making. He used to whisper lewd comments under his breath, trying to get me to cry. Each day I'd sit that and suck back th... Comment - Like
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