Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Apr 24, 2011, 5:00 pm
And now it's time to introduce a new feature here on RyanGarns.com: audio podcasts! That's right, we've finally moved into the era of "talkies". This will be a randomly recurring feature consisting of mostly improvised material, usually recorded in an act of desperation and after a few drinks. ...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Apr 12, 2011, 12:54 am
Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought I'd be writing to you, but my story is just too hot to go untold. And when I say "hot", I mean hot. We're talking Bridges of Madison County hot! I don't ordinarily go to bars, nor do I attempt to solicit beautiful women apart f...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Mar 27, 2011, 4:20 pm
Richard Dawkins is an evolutionary biologist, outspoken atheist, and cover model for this year's Scientific American Swimsuit Issue. He has authored many books including The God Delusion and The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution, and is current...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Nov 1, 2009, 4:10 pm
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Nov 1, 2009, 4:10 pm
Let's be honest: writing is like passing a gallstone. Better yet, writing is like trying to politely kick out that lonely bachelor who's always the last to leave after a party. No... no, wait... actually, writing is like watching a Hayden Christensen movie, ...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Aug 2, 2009, 10:25 pm
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Aug 2, 2009, 10:25 pm

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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jul 21, 2009, 12:50 am
A recent psychology study from the University of Idle Research has found that conservatives lack a sense of humor when compared to liberals. "It's something I've always sensed, but needed scientific proof of," says Steve Beshakis, head researcher at the university and po...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jul 21, 2009, 12:50 am
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jul 13, 2009, 3:20 am
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jul 13, 2009, 3:20 am
Here's an ABC News video that recently caught my attention. Their main focus was how the government is wasting taxpayers' money on road signs promoting stimulus projects -- up to $3,000 per sign. But the thing that really piqued my interest comes at the very end where Jonatha...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jul 6, 2009, 12:20 am
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jul 6, 2009, 12:20 am
The state of California, crippled with a $25 billion deficit, 11.5% unemployment, and a devastating Simon Cowell contract negotiation, is in desperate need of an economic turnaround. But thanks to the recent deaths of Michael Jackson and other famous icons, the Golden State may have found its golden...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jun 22, 2009, 3:20 am
One of the pitfalls of writing comedy, apart from attracting copious numbers of women whose hearts must be toyed with to keep them at bay, is that occasionally I'll get readers who simply don't understand irony. A case in point: a piece I wrote entitled "Abortio...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - Jun 10, 2009, 1:15 am
Hi! Billy Mays here! Are you tired of Muslim extremists threatening your freedom? Do you wish there was an easy way of extracting information from these fanatics about their next terrorist attack? Well, now there is! It's an exciting new interrogation method called waterboarding! Here's...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - May 27, 2009, 12:12 am
Did you miss Keith Olbermann's latest tirade on "Countdown"? If MSNBC's feeble ratings are any indication, you're not alone. Never fear! Just read the following Olbermann Rant TemplateTM, customize the content where applicable, and voila! You'll be up-to-date on the full extent of Olby-Wan's usual i...
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Ryan G. posted an article on Ryan Garns - May 18, 2009, 3:25 am
The Command Center of "The Mittens Chronicles". Lorem Ipsum, author of the cat blog "The Mittens Chronicles", has announced that she will not be joining online juggernaut Twitter due to what she calls the social media site's "creative limitations." "I...
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