Skinny Lady

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Following Blogs: 2

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On My Way to Sainthood

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Dec 4, 2009, 8:23 am
Today is trim the tree day at work. Because I’m all about equality, peace and brotherhood in the workplace, I’m going to propose that we change it to trim the fat day – that way the Jews, Muslim...
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Shock & Awe

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Dec 3, 2009, 7:43 am
I went to Starbucks with a coworker during my lunch break yesterday. I ordered my typical tall cafe au lait with soy, and she ordered a grande egg nog latte. Let me repeat that: A GRANDE EGG NOG LAT...
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Making the World a Prettier Place

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Dec 2, 2009, 1:31 pm
I did it! I convinced a fat coworker to add Gillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred to her Netflix Queue. I feel like fucking Santa Claus.
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Hypocrites

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Dec 2, 2009, 10:46 am
Emaciated Lady has written what is perhaps our most controversial post. And while we rarely get negative feedback on our blog, when we do, it’s usually from idiots geniuses like “Piddle,&#...
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Date Night

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 29, 2009, 7:32 pm
My husband was sweet enough to share a crouton from his salad.  It even had a shred of lettuce on top. Thank god because that water was going nowhere in terms of satisfying my appetite.
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Ungrateful

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 25, 2009, 9:48 pm
Every year Americans give thanks for the same old cliche bullshit. This Thanksgiving I’ve decided to take a different approach by  listing a few things I’m not thankful for… Number...
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Skinny Bitch Quote of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 25, 2009, 1:58 pm
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Kate Moss, revealing her personal motto to WWD Comment - Like

Bedtime Chatter

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 23, 2009, 12:05 pm
Yesterday, 10:53 p.m. Emaciated Lady: The BLT your mom made you today looked so delicious. I’m craving imitation bacon. Extra Large Man: Why didn’t you have one? Emaciated Lady: I’...
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Shadows

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 22, 2009, 4:36 pm
Every week or so an old friend and I go walking together. On our walk this morning, I happened to catch a glimpse of our shadows on the pavement before us. I know shadows can be distorting, but itR...
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Flashback

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 18, 2009, 3:55 pm
When was the last time you saw a giant pay scale? I assure you, I was in a civilized place with a Victoria’s Secret and H&M when I took this picture. It’s not 1952 in an ice cream parlor...
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Drunkorexic Pic of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 16, 2009, 10:25 pm
Extra Large Man finally had enough of making daily trips to fetch my wine. Yesterday, he came home with a cheap gallon of chianti. He’s convinced it’s going to last me all week.
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Skinny Bitch Quote of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 16, 2009, 6:28 pm
“I’m sick. I’ve pooped fourteen times today and counting. My abs are gonna look AMAZING tomorrow.” – Matt, a dear and fucked up friend of Random Anorexics. I’ve as...
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On the Street

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 14, 2009, 12:55 pm
As I was walking home from the mall today, shopping bags draped from my arm and the word “sucker” apparently tattooed on my forehead, an older gentleman stopped me to ask a question. Let m...
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A Case of Mistaken Identity

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 12, 2009, 11:59 am
My coworker’s 3-year-old daughter accompanied her to work today, and everything was fine and good until this happened when I walked into her office: Little girl: Is that Lizzie’s mom? C...
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Anorexic Quote of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 11, 2009, 11:11 pm
“All I want is just one day a year when I’m not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties” My hero, Sue Sylvester, on this week’s episode of Glee.
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I Even Popped Popcorn

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 10, 2009, 7:51 pm
I had every intention to burn some serious calories when I got home from work yesterday, but going to the gym or running outside was out of the question. I decided Exercise TV OnDemand would be my bes...
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Death Threat

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 10, 2009, 9:27 am
I think my scale is trying to kill me. When I stepped on it this morning, this is what it said: No “t” at the end or anything. Kind of harsh, don’t you think?
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The Fat Defense

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 9, 2009, 7:09 pm
For those of you who don’t know about Edward Ates, not to worry. I don’t know anything about him either, except for these three facts: he’s fat. he has one of the most unfortunate,Â...
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Skinny Bitch Quote of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 7, 2009, 11:11 am
“I’m starting to breathe heavy like a fat person.” – Skinny Lady to her husband after walking two blocks home from dinner.
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Intervention

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 6, 2009, 12:50 pm
Every day, I hike five long blocks to work from the parking garage and five long blocks back to my car when I leave. As if this walk wasn’t miserable enough, my mean homeless friend recently dre...
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Diary Entry: October 30, 2009

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 5, 2009, 7:38 am

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Master of Illusion

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 2, 2009, 7:10 pm
Emaciated Lady likes to flatter me. After seeing a few pictures from Halloween, she told me that I look “incredibly emaciated,” which is absurd considering the fat beast I’ve bec...
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Anti-Anorexic Pic of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Nov 1, 2009, 2:07 pm
I absolutely had to borrow this image from People of Walmart to highlight the horrors of back fat, which are here compounded by an utterly misplaced and fucking ugly tattoo. I have to believe that s...
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Got Udders?

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 30, 2009, 1:53 pm
I spotted a thin lady in the elevator at work wearing a cow suit. Irony at it’s finest. P.S. I was compelled to snatch it off her person since it was the perfect costume for me.
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It Is a Recession After All

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 29, 2009, 9:19 pm
I wonder if they’d pay me extra if I sent in photos of my buffalo wings too. Muffin Top Photo Needed Get $250 (West Los Angeles) Date: 2009-10-23, 2:35PM PDT Reply to: jennifer@zyatonix.com ...
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Analyze This

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 28, 2009, 7:10 pm
I had the nightmare to end all nightmares last night. I’m not sure what the context was because all I remember is sitting with my legs straight out in front of me and looking down to see that ...
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Good News

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 27, 2009, 7:38 am
Emaciated Lady isn’t the only one battling pregnancy rumors at work. The other day I went in late because I had a doctor’s appointment. At a certain point in the afternoon, a coworker aske...
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Marlboro + Bikram = Emaciated

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 25, 2009, 10:49 pm
It’s true. There’s a rumor going around my office that I, Emaciated Lady, am pregnant. I went into hiding immediately after hearing this, but it’s time I confess. For a number of rea...
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Asshole Quote of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 25, 2009, 2:00 am
“Emaciated Lady, I am judging you for finishing that bag of chips.” Extra Large Man, upon catching me trying to hide the evidence. Note: I’m been feeling particularly depressed so ...
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I'm Promoting Hideous Footwear

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 22, 2009, 3:03 pm
Carrie Bradshaw would be ashamed, but I consider this another milestone in the plight against obesity. I’m ordering my pair now! They’re ugly as hell, but at this point, I’d wear a v...
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Where the Wild Things Are

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 21, 2009, 7:07 pm
A bunch two of you  are wondering where Skinny and Emaciated Lady have disappeared to.  We haven’t been hiding out, but telling you what we’ve been up to would take all the fun and myste...
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Fat-o-genic

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 15, 2009, 12:53 am
Last weekend I went to LA to celebrate my cousin’s birthday. All was well until Sunday when I saw photos of the previous night. I know the camera adds a lot of pounds, but in one photo in partic...
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Dirty Girl

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 14, 2009, 8:50 pm
It’s decided. I’m never washing my clothes again. Clothes fresh from the wash are too tight, which is all fine and good when you’re a skinny bitch. But I’ve let myself go to sh...
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Anorexic Pic of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 12, 2009, 10:58 pm
I need one of these…wait I’m sober.  
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A Modern Day Parable

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 10, 2009, 10:48 am
Skinny Man and I live near the local homeless shelter, which happens to be right across from the grocery store. (Somewhere out there is an urban planner with an ironic sense of humor.) Anyway, I was ...
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I'm Insensitive

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 9, 2009, 4:20 pm
Yesterday, I had lunch with some coworkers and in bad taste, admitted to them that I’m decidedly obese. One of the fat girls yelled that there was no way I was 100 pounds overweight. I told her ...
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Wolf

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 8, 2009, 1:23 pm
Last week I decided I was officially obese so on Monday I made a severe lifestyle change: No more wine or almond butter. However, I am allowing myself five almonds in the mornings and three alcoholic ...
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Skinny Bitch Quote of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 7, 2009, 7:29 am
“I just broke up with carbs foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” Kitty, in her excitement over winning our birthday giveaway. We can only hope she means it because god knows we can’t ha...
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Anorexic Joke of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 6, 2009, 4:21 pm
I just got a call from a charity asking me to donate my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.   I told them to fuck off!!   Anybody who fits into my clothes isn’t starving...
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93 Percent Bitch

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 5, 2009, 3:16 pm
One of the highlights of my life was the layover I had in Dallas last year. I text messaged nearly everyone I knew to describe the phenomenon I was witnessing — obesity at its finest. I’...
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Anorexic Pic of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 4, 2009, 10:06 am
My sexy new bald spot, which may be a consequence of malnutrition. Or, if I’m lucky, some deadly malignancy lurking under my scalp. 
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As I Really Am

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 3, 2009, 9:52 am
Our manorexic friend, Crazy D, emailed the following self-portrait entitled “Me as I Really Am”: I really have no room to criticize the artwork here, but Jesus, what the fuck is up with t...
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Yet Another Addiction

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 2, 2009, 3:56 pm
Extra Large Man has ruined my life — again. I’m creeping towards a size four and it’s because he brings home food items I become obsessed with. My latest addiction (though I’m ...
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Lucky Bitches!

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 1, 2009, 7:12 pm
And the winners are… Congrats to these two lucky bitches! We wish we could make you all winners, but we’d have to rob a bank to make that happen and we’re anorexics, not criminals. ...
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We Are a Gift

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Oct 1, 2009, 8:01 am
Random Anorexics is officially one year old today! I wanted to write something special to commemorate the occasion, but then I thought, who cares when there’s a giveaway looming on the horizon? ...
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He Found My G-Spot

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Sep 30, 2009, 1:08 pm
Last week, a handsome local television news reporter was getting ready to interview me (because I’m slighty famous in my place of residence) when he grabbed my shoulders, looked me straight in t...
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Anorexic Recipe of the Week

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Sep 27, 2009, 6:00 am
We have Serafina to thank for this one, which I have titled Adventure Broccoli. Enjoy! Cut up half a head of broccoli into bite-size chunks and wash Put in microwavable bowl and zap on full power fo...
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Fall Favorite!

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Sep 26, 2009, 4:27 pm
With the beginning of any new season, one must accessorize accordingly to make oneself appear as emaciated as possible. My summer accessory: a deep golden tan. My latest must-have: Ovation Cell Hair T...
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Pear Shape

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Sep 25, 2009, 12:28 pm
I noticed this morning I’ve gained some weight in my ass. The bad news…I have a fat ass. The good news…my fat ass helps my waist look smaller.
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Killing Me Softly

Skinny Lady posted an article on - Sep 24, 2009, 4:56 pm
It’s official. My day job will kill me. Whether it’s from the exorbitant amount of pressure or from the calories, I will die shortly. After running around with my balls cut off the last fe...
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