Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jul 22, 2011, 2:10 pm
Well after 3 years and 370 posts, I must say farewell to this blog and the people that have been my faithful readers. It's just that after all these years, its getting harder finding the time to sit down at my computer and tell you what it's like to be a banquet manager. I never wanted to reha...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - May 19, 2011, 6:37 am
…are they kidding?   This is a great country for so many more reasons than I could ever name, especially here. We celebrate political, religious, cultural and sexual diversity in every form. We even go so far as to name a “special day” after various types of people to remember and c...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - May 7, 2011, 8:45 am
We have a large social church group in today that ends at 5pm tonight.  That's great 'cause it gives me plenty of time to flip the ballroom for Mother's Day tomorrow.   I have my housemen all set with tomorrow's floor plan since we closed-out the seating and it should be an easy flip. A few minut...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - May 2, 2011, 8:00 pm
I get a call on the radio this morning from my shipping and receiving clerk Paul.  He seems kinda pissed and tells me I need to come down to the loading dock to see all the boxes that are coming in.   I sort of expected a shipment coming in today for the big pharmaceutical group that is starting ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 28, 2011, 8:00 am
Apparently the boss has forgot what "operations" is like.  I guess when you get so removed from the day-to-day tasks of running a department you think that everybody else has all the time to sit through another friggin' meeting.We have the: BEO meeting (2 times a week)- to discuss the upco...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 27, 2011, 12:19 pm
Updated Apr 27, 2011 5:42 AM ET WASHINGTON (AP)Washington Redskins defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth was charged Tuesday with misdemeanor sexual abuse, accused of fondling a server in a hotel restaurant in Washington. A grand jury returned an indictment formally charging Haynesworth in...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 25, 2011, 6:38 am
PDRTJS_settings_4120018 = { "id" : "4120018", "unique_id" : "default", "title" : "", "permalink" : "" };   Date: April 24, 2011 Group Name: Easter Brunch Event Time: 10:30am - 3pm (3pm last seating) Covers: Reservations for 719, Actual covers 687 Roo...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 20, 2011, 3:11 pm
Sales Chick comes in today with some new hairdo.     Makes her look like some peacock or something.  It's the worst come-over I've every seen, all pulled over to one side of her head.   Plus it's dyed this real fake red, like Bozo the Clown. You gotta see this! What the hell was she thinkin...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 18, 2011, 8:00 am
Late wedding last night, ended at 1am with an after-party.  I have just 1 question for these knuckle-headed sales people: You book a wedding with a 5 hour open bar then you allow then to have an after party for another hour after that?  How drunk do you want them to get? What about our liquo...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 11, 2011, 8:57 am
Believe it or not, the big boss actually wants to spend some of that money we apparently have left in our budget.  He wants to get new chairs for the ballroom.  That's great!   Today I'm having the housemen count all our chairs again, and our tables, for an accurate count. I forgot to mention th...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 7, 2011, 9:00 am
Yes believe it or not.  Today marks the completion of 3 full years (and 363 posts) where I have spilled my guts out on these pages for the world to see what it's really like to be a banquet manager.  Hope you've had pity on me... If course I wish to thank all of you readers (even the ones tha...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Apr 5, 2011, 8:54 pm
A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ... "The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.  Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans fat diets can be disastrou...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 30, 2011, 8:00 am
I'm proud to accept this award from the Motion Picture Academ...sorry, I got it wrong. I didn't win an Oscar but I did win this award.  On March 25th I was voted as a Top Career Blog by the web site Blog Front.  Check it out. PDRTJS_settings_4120018 = { "id" : "4120018", "uniqu...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 28, 2011, 8:00 am
As I come up quickly to my 3 year anniversary of writing this blog (April 7th), I wondered... Question: Who reads this blog?  Why do you keep coming back to my site? Answer: You're a waiter (that can't stand managers like me) You're an ex-waiter that just can't stay away from the business ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 24, 2011, 7:51 pm
Another thing that REALLY steams the banquet manager's ass happened today.  I'm gonna slap the piss outta this guy... They came late last night and shampooed all the carpets.  Without telling me dammit!  Not that I need to be told everything in this friggin hotel but it would be fu*king nice if s...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 20, 2011, 9:00 am
FYI... One of my recent posts, "The Room Was Setup Perfectly", was a featured story on the "Might Have Missed List" last month.  In case you haven't read this list on the Breaking Murphy's Law site, it's a list the website posts about their favorite stories on other blogs that are related to busine...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 17, 2011, 8:00 am
The other day I overheard two of the Room Service waiters complaining that their boss was breaking their balls about them needing to work harder.  Then one of them said "We should get a union in here".  "This shit wouldn't happen then" he finished.  Yeah sure.   This reminded me of a past pos...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 14, 2011, 8:52 am
Who invented this daylight savings time shit anyway?  Don't they know that a banquet manager leaves work way too late at night and must usually come back early the next morning to deal with this shit?  I need that extra hour of sleep man.  I've got bags on top of the bags under my eyes today. Got...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 6, 2011, 3:43 pm
317 person Philippieno wedding last night.  Went to 2am.  A lot of drinking, and a lot of dancing.   A HUGE bridal party with introductions that seemed to go on forever. When I got home I think I passed out in around 3 seconds. Just got up this morning at 11:47am.  Damm... Like this story? Ge...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 3, 2011, 9:00 am
"I don't give a F^@!, I'm not gonna come in". Said by the restaurant waiter that was just put on a 6th day on Thursday due to heavy reservations "I got no Chambord". From jerk-ass bartender.  Did you make out your req. this morning buddy? "I'm gonna hit on that new hostess, did you see h...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Mar 1, 2011, 8:37 am
I had off Sunday so I took my wife and kids out to lunch at a local steak house.  The food is always good there and we've never had a problem with the service.  Frankly it's always been good.  This day was no different but just a few strange things... We were greeted at the door warmly and seate...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Feb 23, 2011, 7:38 pm
A lousy corporate meeting for 68 people.  Setup was classroom style for 72.  4 Flipcharts, LCD projector, screen, podium and tabletop microphone.   We set the room up fully based on the diagram that was provided by the customer and faxed to my sales chick.   Yeah I know.  Once the sales chick...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Feb 14, 2011, 11:30 am
We did a big Valentine's Day dinner on Saturday night for almost 200 people.  Open to the public but with reservations a must.  Here's how it went.  Rented red napkins were never delivered (BITCH!) Wrinkled linen, spent almost 2 hours ironing (I hate this shit) 2 late waiters (they hea...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Feb 11, 2011, 6:52 am
Ok, I know all of you couldn't sleep the last few days without knowing the answers to this quiz.  So here they are... On what vegetable did an ancient Egyptian place his right hand when taking an oath? A: The onion.  Its round shape symbolized eternity. How many flowers are in the desig...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Feb 8, 2011, 8:03 am
On what vegetable did an ancient Egyptian place his right hand when taking an oath? How many flowers are in the design stamped on each side of an Oreo cookie? Black-eyed peas are not peas.  What are they? What European nation consumes more spicy Mexican food than any other? ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Feb 5, 2011, 8:17 am
Another thing the banquet manager can't stand... "Do you have a vegan meal? "I told Sales Chick I needed 2 vegan meals, didn't you get that information?" "What are you preparing for my vegan meal?" What's with this bullshit?  When I was a kid you ate what was on your plate, or your ass sat at the ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Feb 2, 2011, 9:15 am
Sometimes you get lucky.  I know I bitched last week about all the friggin' snow.  Now there's ice everywhere.  I heard on the news that there was a 2000 mile path of snow and ice.   Well, it helped me this time.  Since all the flights are canceled and snow is messing up half the country, I'm ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 31, 2011, 6:00 pm
Say it ain't so! The big boss mentioned the other day that our sister property in Memphis is having some "union trouble" down there.  He said he may need me to go back and help straighten shit out.  HELL NO... They already shipped my ass there last year and I don't feel like going again.  I won't...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 29, 2011, 8:02 am
I never understood how bad restaurants stayed open.   So I've got a question for you... Would you keep going back to a restaurant that continually gave you poor service, even though the food was good?   Like this story? Get all my posts send to you by email. Click here... Share Like t...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 27, 2011, 6:04 pm
Sometimes you come across some cheap-ass bastards.  I did yesterday. We had this 18 person meeting.  U-shape for 18 with a LCD projector, screen and flipchart.  Just before lunch the group contact speaks to one of my housemen that was refreshing the room...she wanted a second flipchart. Ok,...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 22, 2011, 9:30 am
I drive to work in the friggin' snow, fighting to see through my windshield.  Streaks everywhere.  Then it gets too hot inside and my balls are sweating.  Then I turn off the car heater and before you know it, the windshield is freezing-up again. Then when I get to work I find that some a**hole l...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 17, 2011, 8:19 am
I should have shut-up when I had the chance... Since my department is quiet, I was asked again, to help out in the restaurant last night.  You know that the banquet manager hates to go into the restaurant and deal with those knuckle-heads. Those waiters & bussers are the most unprofessional group o...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 14, 2011, 10:46 pm
Yeah, that's right.   The Banquet Manager has had it kinda easy since the NYE rush is over.  All the drunks have gone.  All the balloons are popped.  All the garbage was finally picked-up.  Time to relax. Time to regroup.  Time to clean off my desk and straighten up the storerooms.  Customer...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 8, 2011, 6:31 am
As a service to the loyal readers of this blog, I have created a new page on this site to list various info that is helpful in your goal to become a Banquet Manager.  Why you want to do that is beyond me...I guess you haven't read this blog for long enough. So if you still insist on looking fo...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Jan 3, 2011, 10:39 am
Snow.  As far and wide as your eye can see.  Some places still as high as your hip thanks to the wind.  Small patches of brown grass peek out from the low spots.  Then I see it...  Meat. What kind of meat?  That's prime rib.  The same left-over prime rib that we tossed in the trash late last ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 21, 2010, 6:52 am
We're coming to the end of the year and everybody is making their year-end lists about all sort of stuff.  Well, here's a list of shit that drives me crazy... Lazy-ass waiters that don't come in on time Pop-up BEO's People at weddings that ask for a second entree (are you f'in kidding ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 16, 2010, 10:59 am
2 waiters called-out for today's member luncheon.  One that never calls out and of course the perennial "call-out queen" Sylvia.   I'm gonna keep her around for the holiday parties then fire her ass! Related Stories:No No No, You Can't Switch Shifts! Let's Bitch About Those Waiters L...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 13, 2010, 7:00 pm
I knew it, I knew it!  Sonofabitch! I go in today, on my day off, for that stupid New Years Eve meeting.  It was supposed to start at 2pm.  I get there and apparently the GM is in a "very important meeting" with some bug muckity-muck.  Now the meeting is postponed till 3pm.  WTF! So now I'm stu...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 11, 2010, 7:53 am
It's 10:35pm last night and the biggest fear of a banquet manager happened.  The damm fire alarm goes off.  Now I do as I'm taught...run like a maniac from meeting room to meeting room and escort all the guests outta the building. Well, of course I don't run but calmly go and check each room...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 9, 2010, 8:02 am
Yesterday, I did my schedule for next week.  Kinda quiet with just a few small meetings Mon - Fri until the usual weekend social events.  So I was planning on taking of next Mon & Tue.     Then I just get an email from the GM about a friggin' mandatory meeting for all managers about our plans f...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 7, 2010, 7:01 am
Ok, we got a thief in house. And the chef is looking to chop off his hands.  As you remember from my last post, we just did our month-end inventory and the chef and his minions were here all through the night.  This past week was quiet so not much food left the walk-ins.  Well apparently yesterd...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Dec 1, 2010, 8:23 am
So it's 8pm as I am leaving work last night and everyone's bitchin' and moanin' about doing inventory.  The chef and his minions are running around counting pork loin and eggs, the beverage manager and his bartenders are counting liquor bottles and beer.  You never heard so much whining in your l...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 29, 2010, 9:04 am
In case you haven't noticed, I just wanted to mention a few new, or newer, things about my little slice of the internet world. Check out the following areas on my sidebar:  *More To See Around This Site Wedding and Bridezilla Posts  - Where I talk about the crazy shit that goes on at my weddings&...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 24, 2010, 6:39 am
With all the latest big government nonsense, so big that they even literally have their hands down your pants now, it's nice to read about how this great country REALLY started.  Thanks to Rush Limbaugh for this story. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, the real story of Thanksgiving: "On ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 22, 2010, 8:00 am
It's Saturday night and all my staff come in on time.  Everyone looks sharp...all uniforms are clean, shirts pressed.  All the guys are cleanly shaven and the ladies especially look good.  Their hair is all fluffed-out (I guess a lot of conditioner was used today), and their makeup was done.  Wo...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 18, 2010, 8:19 am
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "Well, I ...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 15, 2010, 8:00 am
From Gawker.com New evidence could strengthen the argument that the Stone Age domestication of cereals—which in turn led to farming and "settled behavior"—was intended for beer, not food. Yes, that's right: Without beer, there might never have been civilization.   It's well-known that beer i...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 11, 2010, 8:00 am
Time and time again I have let this guy come in late.  I don't know why but I just have.   He was a nice kid, polite, respectful and everything else.  A pretty decent waiter too but he just had one demon.  He couldn't get his ass outta bed apparently and was always late.  So after around 2 mon...
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Banquet Manager posted an article on So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager... - Nov 8, 2010, 9:44 am
The banquet manager just read some interesting stuff about some "secrets your waiter won't tell you" and I needed your opinion.  Does this stuff happen to you or does this happen where you work? What You're Really Swallowing In most restaurants, after 8 p.m. or so, all the coffee is decaf because ...
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