Sum Zero's Profile - Blogged.com

Sum Zero

52 Followers
4 Blog Followers
2 Blog Reviews

Following: 56
Following Blogs: 29

Latest Activity

Radio Silence, For a Bit

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 26, 2009, 8:58 am
I'm probably not going to be writing any posts for a few days. Something has come up in my family, and I've got to attend to that and spend time with them. Happy Thanksgiving, and I'll co...
Comment - Like

It's Been a Month

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 24, 2009, 9:36 am
[pic] I've made it a full month. Or at least a full month that has 30 days in it. This means that there's much less time between here and my 45 day record than there is between here and my las...
Comment - Like

A Toast in Hoboken

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 22, 2009, 9:14 am
[pic] The PATH trains are just like the subway, only not. They look a lot like "regular" subway trains, but there are little differences you notice, which makes riding the PATH trains a bit like being...
Comment - Like

Pre-Thanksgiving Check In

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 21, 2009, 8:47 am
[pic] On my way to a SMART meeting on Thursday, I stopped in a deli to pick up something to drink. Non-alcoholic, of course. When I got to the register I saw a large sign informing patrons that the co...
Comment - Like

My Dreams Could Use Some Subtlety

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 19, 2009, 12:02 pm
... call a "stratum of vulnerability" that sometimes runs amok and makes me think my office should be in the lavatory. What does any of this have to do with SMART or drinking? A lot, it turns out. ...
Comment - Like

Happiness in a Hot Stone Pot

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 17, 2009, 9:38 pm
[pic] Last night was a late one, finishing up a paper and staying awake into the wee hours. It was like pulling an all-nighter in college, except I'm not 20 years old any more and have to wake up ...
Comment - Like

The Hap-Happiest Time of the Year

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 15, 2009, 7:57 am
[pic] 'Tis almost the season. Thanksgiving is a mere 12 days away, and then there's maybe a week or two's respite before the gauntlet of office, school, vendor, or other holiday parties. T...
Comment - Like

Little Urge

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 12, 2009, 9:56 pm
[pic] One of the SMART techniques to deal with urges to drink, smoke, overeat, use, (or chew, even), is to keep an Urge Log. It's a simple thing, really. Just a table where you log data about your...
Comment - Like

Congratulations

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 12, 2009, 11:40 am
[pic] I was going to write about having found another few squares of nicotine gum in my pants pocket this morning, and how that triggered both the urge to chew and the recognition that I need to dry c...
Comment - Like

SMART Recovery on Facebook

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 10, 2009, 8:34 pm
[pic] SMART Recovery has a bit of presence on Facebook. There are a few SMART Recovery groups; one in the US, one in the UK, and one in BC, Canada. There's also a SMART Recovery USA page. I wante...
Comment - Like

Wheel of Pharma

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 10, 2009, 10:55 am
[pic] I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not terribly sure why. It's possible that the cup of coffee, a rarity for me, that I had in the late morning was enough to interfere with my sleep...
Comment - Like

Two Weeks, Again

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 8, 2009, 10:17 am
[pic] This is the first time I've clawed my way back up to two weeks without drinking. I haven't managed to get that much time between me and a drink since my first lapse in August. And, in ho...
Comment - Like

Sobriety is Stranger than Drunkeness

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 7, 2009, 11:48 am
[pic] I had dinner with a friend last night. The e-mail exchange leading up to it had gone something like this: Me: We haven't seen your new place yet, so we can come uptown and then we can eat in...
Comment - Like

It's All Good

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 4, 2009, 9:13 am
[pic] Still off the gum and the drink. That makes 5 days of the former and 10 days of the latter. My mind hasn't really gone to alcohol over the past few days. In fact, there's been an open bo...
Comment - Like

A Stash of a Different Kind

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Nov 2, 2009, 6:57 am
[pic] Earlier I wrote about the unfortunate collision between me and a stash of vodka that I have no recollection of squirreling away. That was a week ago yesterday, and it was the last time I drank. ...
Comment - Like

Chardonnay's Equation

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 31, 2009, 6:55 am
[pic] The arc of the week could have bent toward drunkenness, but it didn't. Last night was the culminating event in my week of hurdles, urges, traps, and temptation. Our British friends are in to...
Comment - Like

I Took the Right Road

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 30, 2009, 6:48 am
[pic] I didn't go to the party last night, and, as planned instead, attended a SMART meeting. And, after making that little divergence in the yellow wood, that has made all the difference. I got ...
Comment - Like

Made It Through Hurdle One

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 29, 2009, 7:58 am
[pic] I didn't drink last night. I thought about it, especially on the subway. I'd had a bad day at work, was in a pissy mood, and started to go down the precise route I'd written about ye...
Comment - Like

My Life is Lousy with Lorelei

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 28, 2009, 11:28 am
[pic] Not too long ago I wrote about some of my grad student friends, who have known me to enjoy a night out, asking me to join them for a drink. Jokingly, I compared them to Lorelei, singing a sweet...
Comment - Like

Moon Base Eddie Freakin Bauer

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 28, 2009, 8:37 am
[pic] The structure pictured here hasn't been built yet, but when it is, it will use the same engineering principles as the average umbrella unfurled on any given sidewalk in Manhattan on a rainy ...
Comment - Like

The Good, The Bad, and The Really Ugly

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 26, 2009, 12:46 pm
[pic] The Good is that I spent three straight days working diligently away on my dissertation proposal, and made a huge amount of headway. This was a massive source of anxiety for me, because other t...
Comment - Like

I've Brought it Back

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 23, 2009, 8:26 am
[pic] About two weeks ago I decided to change the drink-clock-diary gadget to the right. The long and the short of it was that I didn't like setting the clock back to zero every time I had a drink...
Comment - Like

Subway Stories

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 22, 2009, 9:57 am
[pic] I've written before about stories that I tell myself, devices one part of me uses to trick the other part of me into misbehaving. Or, I don't know, maybe it's all of me, but sometim...
Comment - Like

Fallen Angel

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 21, 2009, 9:52 am
[pic] Well, maybe not so much an angel, but definitely fallen. Had a rough day at work on Monday, picked up a box of nicotine gum, and drank a goodly amount of wine that night. So, I'm not exactly...
Comment - Like

Alcohol? Nicotine? What??

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 18, 2009, 8:18 pm
[pic] It's the end of Day 2 of my Cleansing/Detox thing, and every neuron in my brain that's dedicated to urges, craving, or just plain old desire is so busy missing salt that I can barely rem...
Comment - Like

Sum Zero is following the blog Pilgrim's Journey

Sum Zero is following the blog The Insider

Distraction-Cleansing Therapy

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 17, 2009, 7:03 am
[pic] Yesterday was Friday, and I was in a pretty bad mood because it was Day 2 without nicotine, and Day 1 without caffeine (in preparation for this cleansing/detox thing I'm starting today). It&...
Comment - Like

Here's an Idea

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 16, 2009, 8:28 am
[pic] Yesterday was a "clean" day in many respects. No nicotine, no alcohol, a decent diet, at least until dinner time and then I decided if something had to give, it should involve Camembert rather t...
Comment - Like

Hebdomas Horribilis

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 15, 2009, 8:48 am
[Pic] I think that's how you'd say horrible week in Latin, which is what it's been. Just plain shitty. I've added a few drinking events to the tally, two of which were biggies. Vodka o...
Comment - Like

I Hated That Diary

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 11, 2009, 9:02 am
[pic] I decided to change the way that I keep track of my falls from grace in that little sidebar thing. All the data is still there, but I've packaged it in a way that, quite frankly, doesn't...
Comment - Like

Danger! Warning!

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 2, 2009, 8:35 am
[pic] I'm exhausted. For some reason, I couldn't fall asleep last night, so I took my Kindle and read on the couch, then watched late night TV (no, that's not the image reference; that'...
Comment - Like

Some Chicks on a Rock

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Oct 1, 2009, 3:58 pm
[pic] I know, that was sexist and not very nice. But the women to whom I'm referring, if they had any clue that a) I'm trying to stop drinking, and b) I'm writing about it in a blog, would...
Comment - Like

Stories That I Tell Myself

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 29, 2009, 5:06 pm
[pic] It was raining when I left the office last night to make my way to the SMART meeting on the Upper East Side. It was a light rain, and I'd left enough time to walk there, but walking in New Y...
Comment - Like

One Week, Again

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 28, 2009, 4:53 pm
[pic] It's been another week since my last drink. And at some point in there I stopped the nicotine gum, too. The thing is, while I'm sure about the gum (I hate that stuff), I'm feeling am...
Comment - Like

Really Not Quite the Same Beasts

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 26, 2009, 8:11 am
[pic] If you don't recognize the image to the right, it's the view from the Millennium Falcon as it enters hyperspace. At least I'm pretty sure that's what it is. The reason I chose th...
Comment - Like

Final Report: 9:00 pm

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 24, 2009, 8:16 pm
It's been a good day, after all. After leaving work I came home, walked the dog, fed her, and then threw on some running clothes before I had the chance to sink into the sofa and suckle at the rem...
Comment - Like

Sum Zero is following Heidi Gor

Interim Report: 5:00 pm

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 24, 2009, 3:57 pm
[pic] So far, so good. I've actually been in a pretty decent mood all day, and it's amazing how much more focused I've been. There was a close call, though, when I went to a doctor's a...
Comment - Like

Off the Rails, but Clambering Back On

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 24, 2009, 10:07 am
[pic] This hasn't been a perfect stretch for me. It hasn't been terrible, but let's just say that I haven't been quite as vigilant as I should. I think that during the summer, when I w...
Comment - Like

Bumpy Ride

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 17, 2009, 5:18 am
[pic] So, things have been somewhat lapsy lately. Stepping into the confessional, I had a moderate amount of wine on Saturday (drinking, with a lower case d), then a not so moderate amount on Monday n...
Comment - Like

Sum Zero has updated the About Me section

There are last drinks, and then there are Last Drinks

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 9, 2009, 6:55 am
[pic] Today is the one-week mark since my last drink. That's drink with a lower case d, because it was a lapse, not a 180 degree return to Drinking, with a capital D. That was my third lapse since...
Comment - Like

Lifestyle Balance on the Driving Range

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 7, 2009, 3:22 pm
[pic] The fourth point in the SMART Recovery program is "Lifestyle Balance." This is not exactly a strong suit of mine, but I think I know at least what they're talking about: maintaining a health...
Comment - Like

Something About a Barber

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 6, 2009, 9:44 pm
AA seems to have generated a lot of aphorisms. Either that or my friend - who goes to AA - has. I heard two from him this weekend. The first was something like "if you want to quit drinking, the first...
Comment - Like

Addictive Duo

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 4, 2009, 9:20 am
The pic is the product of an early morning photo shoot on my kitchen counter, involving some wrappers and a chewed piece of nicotine gum, an empty beer bottle (it's Clausthaler, but it works), and...
Comment - Like

Another Stumble

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Sep 3, 2009, 11:15 am
[This pic clearly belongs to FOX or Matt Groening, but I got it here. I have no clue what the copyright deal is with images borrowed for blog posts.] I was speaking to a friend yesterday, and he told...
Comment - Like

Lapse, Revisited

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Aug 31, 2009, 8:05 pm
[pic] The little beast in the image is el chupacabra, the fabled goat sucker believed, ahem, by some to stalk the dark and wild places of Puerto Rico, Mexico, and elsewhere. I promise you I'm goin...
Comment - Like

Blame It On... Whatever

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Aug 29, 2009, 10:21 am
Okay, things were getting boring and predictable, so I decided to have a lapse in the interests of adding an element of suspense. Here's what happened. After the 8/22 post, that evening sitting o...
Comment - Like

Vacation Day 1

Sum Zero posted an article on Sum Zero - Aug 22, 2009, 8:19 am
It turns out I do have internet access. At least from the roof deck. A bunch of wireless networks came up, some secure, some open. I guess a lot of the rentals around here offer that, so I'll take...
Comment - Like

See Older Activity

About Me

A bit neurotic. Somewhat obsessive. Extremely compulsive. Worried. Hurried. Insomniac. Pessimistic perfectionist. Prone to irrational ideations. Also anonymous. I started working with SMART Recovery® in July, 2009, for what I thought at first was an inability to drink with moderation. But I've realized since that there's so much more. Here's to rational behavior following from rational thought. Cheers!

Sum Zero's Blogs:

Sum Zero's Followers

52 Followers See All »

Sum Zero is Following

56 Following See All »

Invite Your Friends

Invite your contacts to blogged from: