I come from good old England but have spent most of my adult life abroad in countries as culturally diverse as Italy, Scotland and now Indonesia.

While you could call me an expat, there is - alas - no dilapidated farmhouse to restore or beachside bar to manage.

I have, however, had a chat with an East Timor king, driven a shiny red Ferrari 309 in Ancona (if only for half an hour) and drunk the blood of a freshly skinned cobra in the North Sumatran city of Medan. What more from life could you want than that? Well…