Tonya Q.

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Embrace your feminine side

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Nov 4, 2009, 8:09 pm
As a single mom, and I'm sure all single parents have noticed this, I definitely get use out of both my feminine side and my masculine side. I have to be mom and dad. I have to cook dinner and ...
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Since my divorce...

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Nov 3, 2009, 8:04 pm
I have learned quite a bit about myself. I have accomplished much. I'm not even the same person I was when I was married. I was contacted by someone wanting to hear my post-divorce story - all th...
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Divorce, the In-laws and Facebook

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Nov 2, 2009, 7:50 pm
If you are my in-real-life friend on Facebook, you will know that Rascal and I are very obviously in love. We try not to get too mushy but yeah, we get pretty mushy. Give us a break! We're still i...
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Triggers

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Nov 1, 2009, 2:47 am
My ex-husband is an alcoholic. Now, he would never admit this, mind you. And I never saw it. I'd never been around it and didn't recognize the signs. When we dated, I loved when he would get...
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Learning to love my ugly

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 29, 2009, 8:42 pm
After writing the tear-laden post last night, Rascal called, as he normally does. I was feeling better, after venting all of those ugly feelings, and he was in a very good mood. He was sharing his t...
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Ugly in the Silence

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 28, 2009, 9:40 pm
I can be so ugly at times. *sigh* One of the challenges I've noticed with a long distance relationship is how Rascal and I both react to silence. We text in the mornings or share silly Facebook...
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Going private

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 27, 2009, 9:38 pm
Next week will be the 2nd anniversary of this blog. In that time, I have read and written many blog posts, followed some of my favorite bloggers as they switched domains or blogs, met some of my fav...
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Who I am/Who I was

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 26, 2009, 7:52 pm
Saturday night, I attended a good ole fashioned country cook out with Rascal and his boys. The cook out was hosted by a few of Rascal's hunting buddies at a home out in the middle of nowhere. We ...
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High School ain't like it used to be...

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 25, 2009, 9:03 pm
My sister was heading back to Louisiana over the weekend to reunite with some old friends from school so I tagged along. Its always nice to have yet another excuse to go visit my man. As I waited for...
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Um...Apple... tree

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 22, 2009, 8:10 pm
Last night when the girls and I came home from after school care, we had a message on our answering machine. A sweet little voice said, "Um, hello? This is Michael, from Rose's class. I just want...
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Relationship Phases

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 21, 2009, 8:13 pm
Rascal and I are nearing 6 months since he first contacted me on Facebook. In those months, we've gone from getting to know each other to my breaking it off to his confused feelings to let's...
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Wellness Arsenal

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 20, 2009, 8:01 pm
As you can see from my bookshelf, I have a major interest in homeopathy. This leads to an interest in all things natural medicine related. And this leads to many phone calls from family and friends as...
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Haunted memories; Lessons learned

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 19, 2009, 10:18 pm
Last week, I heard the new Kelly Clarkson song, Already Gone. The lyrics reminded me of how I felt at the end of my marriage. After we separated, I felt stripped of everything. I couldn't let go ...
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HOT Curves

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 18, 2009, 11:48 pm
As an admirer of women, I immediately fell in love with this photo. These are the new "plus size" models as featured in Glamour magazine. Each of the women in the above photograph wears anywhere from ...
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Where the Wild Things... Cry?

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 16, 2009, 9:50 pm
I took my daughters to see Where the Wild Things Are movie tonight. We've enjoyed the book and the trailer looked fun, so we were all looking forward to seeing it. I couldn't figure out for ...
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Bookshelf

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 15, 2009, 8:13 pm
Apparently, you can tell quite a bit about a person by what's on their bookshelf. Though my camera isn't near as pro as RE's, I took some pics of my books too. I can't say this is a...
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Enabler no more

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 14, 2009, 8:16 pm
Rascal's nickname for me is "Angel". He says one of the reasons he's drawn to me is because of my strength, positive nature, forgiving and loving attitude towards all people. Well, sometimes...
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This, that and feelin' my age

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 13, 2009, 7:23 pm
I went to the U2 concert last night at the new Dallas Cowboys stadium. Damn, that place is IMPRESSIVE. I'd swear there was a mile distance from my seat to the top back row! Wow! My seat, by the w...
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Change happens

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 12, 2009, 8:17 pm
Today as I was catching up with my co-workers, I told them about my trip back to Louisiana to visit Rascal this past weekend. Friday night, Rascal and I spent a nice evening, just the two of us. On ...
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Overthinkers Anonymous

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 11, 2009, 9:31 pm
Do you worry all the time? Do you find yourself constantly wondering the "hows" of your future? Do you replay past moments over and over in your mind and wonder if you could have acted differently? ...
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For my daughters: A Good Man

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 8, 2009, 4:49 pm
My children have fallen in love with Rascal. I mean, who can blame them? I certainly get it. He's good people. He treats them with respect and gives them boundaries. Not many of my friends or fa...
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Perfect imperfection

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 7, 2009, 2:29 pm
I didn't mean to exhaust everyone with my over-thinking from the past few days. Believe me... you couldn't have been as near exhausted as I was. Sheesh. Even Rascal remarked, "You know this w...
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Fork in the Blog

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 6, 2009, 12:50 pm
A reader directed me to one of my favorite quotes after yesterday's worrisome post. From another A Course in Miracles student and teacher Marianne Williamson: "We can always choose to perceive th...
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The Cure for Paranoia

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 6, 2009, 12:48 pm
All of your comments on yesterday's post all said basically the same thing. I am over-thinking. I am worrying too much. It becomes a spiraling effect. I actually have to get it out before I realiz...
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Foundation cracks and settling

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 6, 2009, 12:48 pm
"I am not one of those who dates for the sake of dating." I have said that through my entire dating life. If we don't *click*, if there isn't a *connection*, then we simply will not date any...
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Post Traumatic

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 5, 2009, 1:45 pm
I remember talking with a long time friend shortly after the separation from my ex-husband. My husband was my first love and I was trying to have hope that I could love like that again. "Oh no, you ...
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Voice in the community?

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 4, 2009, 12:32 pm
Last week when I wrote about Grey's Anatomy and the Army surgeon suffering from PTSD, I mentioned on Facebook that it reminded me of Soldier. I received a comment from Love Coach Rinatta: "You kn...
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What the human body can do

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Oct 1, 2009, 7:39 pm
I am endlessly fascinated at what our bodies are capable of. I enjoy training my body and when I see videos like these, I want to work even harder. For those yogis who practice your Sun Salutations.....
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Opposites

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 30, 2009, 8:04 pm
If you were to look at Rascal and me at the surface level, it seems apparent that we are very different. We frequently joke that my "sandal wearing" friends would probably not hang out with his "redn...
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Mi Favorita

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 29, 2009, 7:25 pm
I have a favorite area along the Mayan Riviera that I like to visit. There are such wonderful little towns and fishing villages that, in the 20 years I've been traveling to this area, it never get...
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I need sex

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 28, 2009, 6:56 pm
I took time this weekend to catch up on the season premier of Grey's Anatomy. If you'll recall, I became smitten with Dr. Owen Hunt, the new Army surgeon on the show, because his reaction to t...
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Competitive Spirit

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 27, 2009, 10:33 am
I am home from my first 5K run since having my surgery almost 8 weeks ago. I knew I'd be unable to run the 3 miles but I was going to try anyway. I figured a nice slow jog would be perfect for my ...
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Prayer in an angelic voice

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 25, 2009, 10:31 pm
Two of my favorite things: Sarah McLachlan and the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi: Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury,pardon; wh...
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A little sunshine cleaning

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 24, 2009, 9:49 pm
Tonight I have the house to myself. I finally convinced the ex, on the one night per week that he has the kids, to take them to his place across town. He travels every week with work but occasionally,...
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Secrecy vs. Privacy

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 23, 2009, 7:04 pm
I remember the day I finally felt the straw. You know the one?   The one that broke the camel's back? It was a year to the day after I'd found hard evidence of my husband's affair. ...
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Dispirited

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 22, 2009, 6:09 pm
Merriam-Webster defines the term dispirited: to deprive of morale or enthusiasm I have used this term endlessly in my A Course in Miracles study groups. My definition is this: - A sense of disconnec...
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From "I" to "we"

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 21, 2009, 3:47 pm
Being in a new relationship, even a long distance one, is a challenge. As a single mom, I am used to planning my time WITH my children and WITHOUT my children. Because I live alone, and because my m...
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Ode to the Single Parent

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 20, 2009, 6:24 pm
Rose turned 8 years old yesterday. My first thought of the morning yesterday was... Wow, I remember leaving the house 8 years ago today as part of a couple. Two people.... and I knew we'd be retu...
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Orgasm... let me count the ways!

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 17, 2009, 7:45 pm
Back in December, when I pondered the orgasm, I asked the question, "Why rush it?" I was frustrated with the lack of orgasms in my previous relationship. I was begging for more. Sometimes, in life, ...
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Do kids emotionally eat too?

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 16, 2009, 9:28 pm
Over the weekend, I spent a little more time with Rascal's 12 year old son. We'll call him Carbon Copy (CC) because he is just like his dad. I adore this kid. He cheered me on during my triat...
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Before and After

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 16, 2009, 12:44 am
1000 words. Pics taken before my surgery and less than a month after my surgery. Swelling is still decreasing. I am VERY happy with the results! Oh and I've already inspired a reader to do this ...
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93 Years of Life

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 15, 2009, 1:49 pm
Today is Papa's 93rd birthday. If you'll recall, he has been in mourning since Mema passed away. I headed back to Louisiana this past weekend to pay him a visit. The drive to his place, in t...
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Don't know nothin' bout me

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 14, 2009, 2:11 pm
I'm perturbed. I can generally follow my Four Agreements and 'not take things personally' but... grrr... This is bugging me. Maybe if I write it all out, I may not even have to publish i...
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Big Red Love

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 12, 2009, 8:15 pm
... big strong man was a father of two sons. Now this flower didn't realize that the big strong man ... quot;I understand why your son would pull me from the ground. A red flower is irresistible...
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Turning envy on its head

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 10, 2009, 7:13 pm
I was hanging out in the break room at work today when the CEO came to chit chat. We are known for our long drawn out metaphysical or psychological discussions. Its just what we do. Today he asked me...
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PW

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 9, 2009, 8:02 pm
I remember when my ex-husband and I were dating, his friends would call him "PW". I had no idea what sort of nickname they had given him. He would always look half-annoyed/half-embarrassed. One day I ...
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Pawning off the kids for a sexcapade

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 8, 2009, 6:46 pm
Last week an anonymous commenter responded to my erotic post with the following: "Most married women don't get to pawn off their kids every other week for their sexcapades, trust me." In respon...
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Honesty? Honestly?!

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 7, 2009, 5:23 pm
Rascal and I are honest with each other almost to a fault. Sometimes, the things we say are not comfortable for the other person to hear. Usually one or the other of us feels hurt or discomfort but w...
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Wear Sunscreen

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 5, 2009, 4:11 pm
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis...
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Funny People

Tonya Q. posted an article on - Sep 3, 2009, 8:32 pm
My girlfriend Alex is hilarious. I love being around her because I never know what she will say next. I sometimes wonder how her mind is wired that she's so quick witted. For instance: She and ...
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