T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Nov 2, 2010, 10:35 pm
I've missed you guys so much. This may be the last post on The Quest for T... I've not been in a good place the past few days. And quite frankly, I'm sick of me. Then I began to notice a few quotes that are popping into my awareness. Like this one: "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has t...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 29, 2010, 12:30 pm
... to a more private location. The blog will stay public for the next week. I hope to collect email addresses from all of you who wish to continue reading. I will be writing as I always do and maybe even offer a few surprises. Please send me an email with your email address. I will add you to the ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 28, 2010, 12:29 pm
Plain and simple: It sucks to be you. I don't really have any good advice for you. When you ask, "What can I do?", I really don't know. Hormonal issues don't ALWAYS mean depression. It doesn't mean a death spiral into months of suicide watch or anything. It just means ... hey, I'm temporarily sad. I...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 27, 2010, 12:26 pm
Or PCOS. That's the diagnosis, probably. I am still waiting on results. For now, however, I am in hiding. *** When I was in my early 20's, I started to break out in cystic acne. I rarely broke out as a teenager (lucky me!) so this came as a surprise to me as a young adult. I started to feel so ins...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 26, 2010, 3:30 pm
I have to admit to a few longtime guilty pleasures: Grey's Anatomy and Army Wives I've been a fan of these shows for a few years now, watching them while on my bike trainer instead of the comfort of my couch. Rascal is helping me to learn to STOP and actually sit still when I watch TV. Not an easy t...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 25, 2010, 4:09 pm
I believe that once you open your eyes to see something differently, once your mind is willing to let go of current judgments, once you are willing to say, "I don't know", things happen. I remember declaring "I don't know" back in February of 2009. I wasn't happy in my failing relationship, knew I d...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 24, 2010, 3:51 pm
I've had this weekend to myself, which is rare. I had a really great Friday night (Go Texas Rangers!!) and Saturday. I like this. I enjoy spending time alone or with friends. With friends.... I told Rascal about mid-week that I really wish I could plan some time with my girlfriends. Problem is, most...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 22, 2010, 2:50 pm
Rascal has it right. Mark had it right. In order to feel valued, I have to think of myself as VALUABLE. Period. When I believe that my ex-husband's relationship with our daughters needs help, I need to be strong enough and clear enough in MY OWN VOICE to speak up and say something to him. He respect...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 21, 2010, 11:46 am
I believe there are telling moments in a relationship, where you realize your value. I remember on my 5th wedding anniversary, when my husband treated it as an after-thought, I felt very unvalued. Rascal reminds me often how valuable I am to him. This weekend, for instance, when he emotionally expre...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 20, 2010, 11:06 am
When Rascal and I initially began communicating, he told me of a great relationship with his ex-wife, mother of his 5 year old son, Fireball. He still cared for her and her well-being. We shared many wishes for our exes, including wanting them to find happiness in the lessons learned, as we were. I ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 19, 2010, 12:18 pm
In the past month, two of the single mom bloggers that I read have gotten re-married. Yes, they will more than likely always refer to themselves as "single parents" because, really, isn't it true? They may have someone to be intimate with every night or to share finances and household responsibilit...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 18, 2010, 12:50 pm
I said something hurtful to Rascal. It was something I'm quite sure I said to my ex-husband numerous times when we were married, without thought of how I would feel if he were to say it to me. The difference is that Rascal expresses hurt and my ex-husband didn't. As I've been learning since divorc...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 16, 2010, 7:19 pm
It's late and I'm lying in bed with Rascal. I can' t see him because I've taken out my contact lenses for the night. He's talking to me but I can't hear him clearly because my right ear, my "good" ear, is in the pillow. I start to laugh... "Oh baby, I'm going to be such a crotchety old broad. Are yo...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 15, 2010, 2:14 pm
For the first time in my life, I'm learning how to take compliments. Instead of brushing them aside or denying them, they humble me and render me speechless. Thank you all for your kind words on yesterday's post. It does feel good to start the weekend with a smile!
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 14, 2010, 1:01 pm
I received an email this morning from a longtime reader/lurker. I love when I receive those. I do feel a bit validated that this blog means something to someone other than myself. Sometimes I stop to fully appreciate why I blog. I have great friends that were discovered through blogging. I blog fo...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 13, 2010, 1:32 pm
I was approached by Lingerie.com to review one of their sexy Halloween costumes. There were so many to choose from that I honestly couldn't decide. I decided to let Rascal decide for me. He's a hunter. He saw camouflage. He got weak in the knees. Ok, so it's not hunting camo but the man did enjoy s...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 12, 2010, 1:11 pm
Since Rascal has been in my life, I feel more certain than ever that I want to live an authentic life. Rascal and I are honest, as often and as much as we can be. I'm sure there are things we may not say but this is definitely the most consensually honest relationship I've ever had. Unfortunately, ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 10, 2010, 2:37 pm
I realized, as I was in mile 22 of my 30 mile bike ride yesterday, that I'm generally inspired when my body is being challenged with some other activity. I can break through a writer's block or problem solving when I'm in yoga or even while sleeping. So, it was no surprise to me that this blog post ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 8, 2010, 12:23 pm
All of those goals you want to accomplish? All of those plans and visions and grand ideas? They are accomplishable. But you have to let go of the excuse you always use. You know the one: "... but I'm a single mom..." Yeah. Let it go and watch your life soar! Your kids will thank you for it.
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 7, 2010, 12:55 pm
Yesterday, on the drive home from school, Rose was once again discussing a little boy in her class who "gets really mad all the time." She's mentioned him since school began. This little boy can't seem to control his temper... so much so that he frequently throws things and/or flips his desk in the ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 6, 2010, 1:16 pm
Lately, I've been in a bit of a career crisis. You see, I'm a bit like Forrest Gump in the scene above. When I find something that interests me (music, information technology, stay-at-home-motherhood, natural medicine, spirituality, triathlons), I pursue it hard, fast and true. Like Forrest, I run a...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 5, 2010, 12:11 pm
Rascal and I had all of our kids together this weekend for the first time in a long time. Rascal's soon-to-be-14-year-old son, Carbon Copy (CC), was in summer camp when the rest of us, including Rose, Grace and Rascal's 5 year old son, Fireball, enjoyed a week's vacation together in Mexico in July. ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 4, 2010, 1:04 pm
The CEO at work and I always seem to have very interesting conversations. I couldn't even tell you how they begin but they always lead to some revelation for one or both of us. Today, we somehow made our way into a conversation about male chauvinists. Wikipedia states: "Male chauvinism is a term u...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 3, 2010, 5:21 pm
*Swoony sigh*
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Oct 1, 2010, 12:13 pm
I have nothing but respect for a man who realizes what he has in his woman... so much that he pledges to hold on to her as long as she allows him. There's nothing more attractive about a man than that!! (That one was inspired by Rachel's Lucky Guy and my Rascal!)
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 30, 2010, 12:52 pm
Earlier this year, I wrote a post on things I've learned about men since I've been in a relationship with Rascal. It occurred to me that that post needed an addendum. In that post, I wrote that men are used to rejection and women are not. Men in relationships will frequently tell their woma...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 29, 2010, 12:24 pm
I did ask Rascal to come with me to San Francisco for the wedding and he declined. I understood. He felt he wouldn't know anyone or would be in the way. He was a little unsure about my mourning over Jim and thought it best that I share that experience with others who knew Jim. He was very supp...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 28, 2010, 1:07 pm
Rachel had been very secretive about the wedding plans, only dropping a few hints on her blog. She even kept most of the surprises secret as we set up for the wedding on Friday afternoon! We knew there would be cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake. We knew there would be a slushie machin...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 27, 2010, 5:18 pm
Friday morning I boarded a very early morning flight to Oakland for Rachel’s wedding. The wedding wasn’t until Saturday afternoon however, as I came bearing no gifts (as requested), I felt the least that I could do was assist in the setup of the wedding location. Rachel met me at the baggage cl...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 24, 2010, 8:35 pm
About a month ago, I received a phone call from my friend Jim (Depot Dad). After some small talk about his worsening health and the hopes of a few more experimental drugs left as options, he directed me to the reason for his call. But wait... let me back up a moment. *** As some of you may or ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 23, 2010, 12:15 pm
There is one post I've written that I go back to over and over again. It is one of my favorites. It is a post entitled: Meeting you where you are I actually revisited this post earlier this year when I wrote about allowing. In the original post, I wrote about how yoga and A Course in Miracle...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 22, 2010, 1:07 pm
Yesterday, I went in for a 1 year post-surgery follow up appointment with my plastic surgeon. I'd had some concerns since my tummy tuck surgery last August. (For more posts regarding the surgery, thoughts before and after, check out the posts labeled 'surgery'.) My concerns were noth...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 21, 2010, 1:22 pm
I have been in sort of a daze for the past week but on Saturday, something reminded me of a post I've had in draft for over a year. It was a phone exchange after Rascal found that his son Carbon Copy (a straight A student), got a C progress report in school: R: My worst fears about (CC) have b...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 20, 2010, 3:11 pm
It was an exhausting weekend for me - on many different levels. I'd had an idea that my friend Jim would pass away on Saturday. He'd had emergency surgery on Friday that was extremely risky. I was already worried about losing him most of last week. I was in a deep sadness after seeing his ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 18, 2010, 9:46 pm
“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore The angels are certainly rejoicing for the laughter and beauty you are now sharing with them. Lucky angels. We love you Jim. February 6, 1965 - September 18, 2010
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 17, 2010, 12:49 pm
As I stated before, I'm still holding vigil for my single dad friend, Jim, who writes his blog at DepotDad.com. (See the candle on my sidebar. Let me know if you'd like to burn a candle too.) I've written a few posts about Jim here on my own blog. The man has inspired me since we first ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 16, 2010, 9:10 pm
Cancer is a bitch. That is all.
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 16, 2010, 12:07 pm
I'm holding vigil for my friend Jim who is rapidly losing his battle with cancer. Please hold him in the light. Please send wishes of peace for him and his beautiful children.
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 15, 2010, 9:30 pm
This is TOOOOO funny. And very, very true. I could watch this guy all day... Check out this one about men and their sex drives. Viva la difference! Might as well have fun with it, right?
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 14, 2010, 10:07 pm
I talked to Rascal about my blog post from yesterday. He laughs at my revelations. He's a guy... he already understands what guys want. I'm sort of giggling at myself too. My interest in understanding men has even usurped my magazine reading! As we stood browsing in the drug store before he...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 13, 2010, 10:40 pm
Saturday afternoon, he stood on the front of the boat, rod and reel in hand, muttering to himself about which bait might land the biggest fish. I sat comfortably on the back deck of his fishing boat in a beach chair that he'd lovingly rigged the evening before with a giant golf umbrella to shiel...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 12, 2010, 6:25 pm
vis.ualize.us It's that time again. Ya'll had so much fun getting it all off your chests last time that I've decided to do it again. Anonymous admissions, hot sexy secrets or never-told-anyone-before confessions... To get us started, I will share a secret too. Hey, didn't I alread...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 9, 2010, 9:14 pm
Continued from part 1 As my date, HardBody, and I began discussing his personal life, he immediately admitted that he didn't believe in monogamy. Clue #4... I was shocked but as I thought about the 10 years I'd known him, I rarely knew him to have a girlfriend. We discussed my previous ...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 8, 2010, 9:39 pm
It was only a few months since I'd asked my ex-husband to move out and already people were trying to set me up on dates. Isn't it funny that people feel uncomfortable with a person just sitting with their pain? Don't sit still! Have a plan!! This particular man, (we'll call him Har...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 7, 2010, 10:11 pm
Photo from Vi.sualize.us Last week, I was on the ledge of misery and unworthiness. I was also on the ledge of breaking up with Rascal. That was the day of our ugly fight when we no longer saw each other... but instead dumped heaps of baggage on our very honest and loving relationship. I knew I di...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 6, 2010, 10:43 pm
I was driving home for lunch last week and heard this song on the radio. If you know anything about me, you know that I cannot simply enjoy a song. I listen to lyrics. I want to understand the meaning behind the song. So, as I listened to the vocalist sing to the "other woman" on the phone... a...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 5, 2010, 8:07 pm
Photo from Vi.sualize.us The strangest part about how I was feeling in my low last week... is that today, I can barely relate to who I was just a few days ago. I did realize that my biggest fear was of the future. And fear of lack of control. Thankfully, those lows always lead me to some new revela...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 3, 2010, 1:01 pm
You worked really hard on yourself to find someone who loves and accepts you just the way you are. Now that you have him, are you working just as hard to love and accept *yourself* just the way you are? And are you allowing him to love you and accept you just the way you are? That's the real...
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T S. posted an article on The Quest for T - Sep 2, 2010, 1:27 pm
Rascal and I had to have a serious talk the other night while I fought my way out of the darkness. We'd already had a ugly argument earlier in the day where I, enraged, shouted threats, hung up on him and threw the phone across the room. Um... yeah, I haven't done anything like that in ye...
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