Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Feb 2, 2012, 12:05 pm
I saw something on the news the other day…if you google it you’ll no doubt find the story I’m talking about…but a police officer was in a McDonalds and is caught on their security cameras buying a cookie for a little boy who didn’t have enough money to get it himself. Moments later, as he ... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Jan 24, 2012, 10:02 am
It’s election time, in case you’ve had your TV turned off for the past two years. (Elections, like Christmas, seem to start earlier every year, don’t they?)
Much talk is given to the deficit. And rightly so, we should all be concerned about our level of national debt. But the people who are s... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Jan 9, 2012, 11:44 am
“Hi honey, can I ask you a question?”
Anytime a conversation with mama starts that way, hilarity is to follow.
“Sure, shoot.”
“Who invented oral sex?”
“What?”
“Who invented it? How long’s it been around?”
“I know I’ll regret asking, but why?”
“Kenny and I’s jus... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Jan 5, 2012, 9:33 am
A little recap for those who didn’t tune in yesterday: Mama’s former father-in-law passed away. (Former as in, she divorced the man’s son 20 years ago.) While Mama has been unable to take herself to a funeral since my sister passed, she simply HAD to go pay her last respects. (IE: the chance f... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Jan 4, 2012, 3:46 pm
Mama called in near hysterics the other night. Between sobs, I made out that her former father-in-law (my sister’s grandfather) had finally lost a long battle with cancer. One might think that, given her reaction, mom and this former father-in-law had been close. That wasn’t the case even when s... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Dec 19, 2011, 9:25 am
Well, Mama spent a few weeks in the nuthouse recently. I think she must have one of those timeshares, because she goes back to the same one for a week or two every year. Apparently, the ambulance (who Mama has on speed dial) took her to the hospital with “blood pressure so high she was about to st... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Dec 8, 2011, 8:57 am
Coincidence? I doubt it. You know what they say about homophobes. Somewhere, some part-time drag queen has probably heard Rick whisper “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
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Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Dec 4, 2011, 5:33 pm
A few good ones I’ve collected over the past few weeks. Thought I’d work them into a real post, but alas, that ain’t gonna happen today friends.
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Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Nov 22, 2011, 7:48 pm
Mama has fallen silent the past few days. My nerves needed the rest, but I figured it meant one of a few things: she was in the hospital, wrapped up in a new man, or down at Kenny’s camp where cell phone reception is non existent.
Well, she was in the hospital. Taken there, naturally, by an ambul... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Nov 1, 2011, 3:36 pm
Mama was “done” with Kenny again last week. She sent him to the grocery store and he didn’t get whatever it was she asked for, and that was the icing on the cake. She packed up her car and ran back to her hoarding hovel. But she still had Kenny’s house key. Now, any normal person might have ... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Oct 20, 2011, 2:54 pm
Darling and I were talking about my crazy mama the other day.
“Does she watch TV or anything?” Darling wondered how, exactly, someone with no job, hobbies, social life, or apparent interests, spends a day.
“Maybe a NASCAR race or a football game if her man d’jour is interested in such thin... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Sep 26, 2011, 1:09 pm
I’ve lived in my car the past few weeks. Not literally, of course, but it sure feels like it. I’ve had to run up to West Virginia every other week to oversee the final details on a house I’ve been working on. It’s made work exciting for the first time in a while, but it’s also worn me out.... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Sep 16, 2011, 10:39 am
While I expect that real photos of the uptight, homophobic, happy executioner from Texas may well exist somewhere doing precisely what it appears he is doing here, he was just eating a corn dog in the wrong place at the right time. Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Aug 18, 2011, 10:56 am
One of the daily clicks in our house is the website Damnyouautocorrect.com it never fails to have us literally laughing out loud on a daily basis. I’ve never fallen victim to autocorrect disaster myself, knock on wood, but I almost did today.
Our landscaper emailed to remind me that he was coming... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Aug 16, 2011, 2:46 pm
“Hi Honey! whatcha doin?”
“Just working on some revisions, what are you doing?”
“Gettin’ high.” chuckles “on marijuana. I’m smokin’ me a joint.”
“Oh Lord.”
“Well, I caint drink causa this bladder infection they caint figure out.”
“I see…”
“I just thought I... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Aug 15, 2011, 3:07 pm
I got this in my email today:
“Beloved,
I am drenched with tears while writing this short message to you. It was
heartbreaking news to me few days ago when my doctor notified me on
complications on my health condition which he officially made known to me.
He further stressed that the complicatio... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Aug 13, 2011, 11:02 am
Hey guys! Was hoping I could count on all of you to help me out with a little something. One of my younger brother’s favorite teachers is trying to win the Syfy channels viewer’s choice vote on “Face Off”.
Could you click on over there and vote for RJ Haddy? Here’s the link: http://www.s... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Aug 4, 2011, 5:52 pm
My phone lit up on my way home from work today, and Mama was on the other end.
“I’m heading to this birthday party.” she said in the sort of tone that implied she would rather have her nipples clipped off with a pair of dull tin snips.
“Who has a party on a Thursday?” I asked before real... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
Tales From The Vinyl Village
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Aug 1, 2011, 10:36 am
It’s been a few weeks since I had time to blog…so let’s catch up a bit, shall we? I’ve been busier than a one armed paper hanger with work. This is a good thing. The company I started this year has kept me with a full plate of work. And press! A house I designed has been featured on CNBC, MS... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Jul 20, 2011, 1:16 pm
If you’ll recall, I not long ago predicted that my crazy mama would fritter away her recently acquired insurance windfall. I outlined the reasons she needs to move, and have encouraged her every step of the way to make moving her priority. But, as predicted she has not done that.
It turns out tha... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Jul 6, 2011, 9:11 am
Someone, who may or may not be my younger brother, and his coworkers have invented a new sport. Behold, Rascal Jousting! Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Jun 27, 2011, 9:44 am
As steady readers know, Mama recently came into some money. As they also know, there are a lot of things that she SHOULD do with this money. And, if you’ve read more than two posts about her, you know already that what she SHOULD do (in any given situation) is the very last thing that she WILL do.... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Jun 19, 2011, 3:26 pm
Y’all will have to forgive my absence over the past few weeks. I have been busier than a one armed paper hanger with work stuff, and squeezed in a few days of beach time with the family while I was at it. When I fall quiet, it is usually a GOOD thing. It means mama is maintaining her sanity and no... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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May 28, 2011, 9:25 pm
Actually, the site doesn’t bother me, but a good number of it’s users do. And for specific reasons….in no particular order these are:
1. Couples who have the same facebook account. I see this a lot. None of my friends have this, thank God. I would give them a stern talking to. I can almost un... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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May 26, 2011, 4:25 pm
If you’ve read my mama stories and tried to “hear” what she sounded like, or piece together how her train of thought goes, watch the video above. (Or go to You Tube and search for anything “Betty Butterfield”) Although mama is 100 lbs lighter than Betty, the similarities are startling.
I ... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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May 16, 2011, 8:01 pm
1. I love those Charmin commercials with the little mama bear. They so delicately address the very serious topic of dingleberries.
So the next time someone answers your obvious question with “Does a bear shit in the woods?” You tell them, “Yes, but they use a quality toilet tissue.”
2. So ... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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May 16, 2011, 9:30 am
Mama finally got her check last week. The full limits of the policy on her hoarding hovel. I’ve tried to counsel her on what should be done with this windfall. See, Mama has her mobile mansion on eight acres of land that she has lived on for 30 years. She technically doesn’t own this land, it’... Comment - Like
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May 1, 2011, 6:01 pm
Picture it, small town West Virginia, 1995. A group of friends too young to drink, too poor to do much of anything, and too stupid to care what anyone thought, are looking for ways to entertain themselves on a quiet weekend night.
Someone gets the bright idea that someone, no names please, ought to... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Apr 26, 2011, 1:43 pm
I think I dream most nights, I even wake up remembering vague “shadows” of my dreams a few nights a week, although by the time I stumble to the shower, I’ve forgotten them. Not so last night. I had the most bizarre, twisted, dream EVER, and unfortunately I won’t soon forget it.
We were on a... Comment - Like
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Apr 5, 2011, 10:23 pm
I’ll be taking a week or so off, honeybadgers. I am some kinda overdue for a vacation, and can think of no place better to be than right here:
Or maybe here:
Or here:
Or here, with an umbrella drink or six:
But I most assuredly will NOT be here:
See y’all when I get back! Somebody watch ove... Comment - Like
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Mar 31, 2011, 9:31 am
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.
10 years later, the group of 25-ye... Comment - Like
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Mar 29, 2011, 7:28 pm
OK, who pays for these studies? I mean, really. A new one links church attendence to obesity. (read about it here) “The study found that young adults who attend church at least once a week are 50 percent more likely to become obese than those who don’t attend religious services.”
Now I don... Comment - Like
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Mar 29, 2011, 12:43 pm
Yesterday, I logged onto Facebook. There’s some annoying new feature on the site–polls asking everything from whether you prefer Coke to Pepsi to deeper questions of spirituality. A high school classmate, Facebook reports, voted “Yes!” to the question of whether there should be prayer in sch... Comment - Like
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Mar 28, 2011, 3:14 pm
I’m going to change my name to Lady Cleo because I predicted that mama’s simple little insurance claim would be dragged out into some absurdly long, needlessly complicated, melodramatic nonsense that would doubtless last half a year, and by gum, I was right on the money.
She has finally, after ... Comment - Like
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Mar 27, 2011, 11:02 am
I consider myself to be a fairly liberal person. While I fully realize that there are plenty of people who stand ready to abuse any type of social entitlement program, perhaps my naivety and basic belief in the goodness of mankind keeps me of the opinion that most of them are wonderful and I am happ... Comment - Like
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Mar 23, 2011, 1:52 pm
On one of my last visits to WV, Mama and Kenny gave me a new shop vac as a late Christmas gift. As gifts from her go, it was a great one. Normally, it’s clothes that are two sizes too large and two decades out of fashion. But let me back up, because while it is technically correct that they gave i... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Mar 23, 2011, 10:53 am
For the past several years, I’ve told myself that my crazy mama might not be as crazy if she weren’t downing pills like they were M and M’s. But, she’s been “clean” for a couple of months now (the true reasons still elude me) and she is still nuttier than squirrel shit.
Let’s have a... Comment - Like
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Mar 16, 2011, 7:31 pm
1. Anyone out there a Sugarland fan? I’m not much into country music, but I have always liked them. Last week, I had the opportunity to see them in concert and it was probably the best show I have ever seen. The lead singer in particular (Jennifer Nettles) has such an amazing energy and you can ju... Comment - Like
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Mar 2, 2011, 10:39 am
Mama called to talk about her appointment with her general practitioner yesterday. She was looking forward to this all week, because she couldn’t wait to tell the good doctor that she “was off all this medicine on her own.“
“Lord that makes for a long day, they kept me forever.”
I ti... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Feb 28, 2011, 11:38 am
Most of my weekends are pretty lazy. Sleep in, lay around in my robe half the day. Maybe do a project or two around the house. Not this weekend.
Friday, we had a small dinner party. (Five of us total). I made beef torsh (beef marinated in pomegranite and onion juice with walnuts ground to a dust) a... Comment - Like
Vinyl V. posted an article on
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Feb 24, 2011, 10:24 am
After sitting on the trash can all day, Mama finally met with her insurance adjuster yesterday to discuss the claim related to the recent break in at Casa de Crazy.
“They sent me a damn adjuster that wuddent any olderan you.”
“I’m 33!”
“Yeah, well. He pissed me plum off! Plum off! Ken... Comment - Like
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Feb 23, 2011, 11:01 am
My coffee had not even had time to kick in this morning when Mama called in an absolute frenzy. You’ll recall that a few weeks ago her home was burglarized–well today, Kenny had taken her there on his way to work so she could wait for the insurance adjuster to arrive.
“This place looks like a... Comment - Like
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Feb 21, 2011, 9:00 am
1. Well, I only got about half of my “to do” list done this weekend. I felt “off” on Friday and Saturday, just didn’t have a whole lot of energy. Part of the reason is because I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m often bothered by “Restless legs”–I hate even admitting that because i... Comment - Like
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Feb 16, 2011, 9:47 am
The first signs of spring have shown their faces in my little corner of the world. There were glimmers a few weeks ago as temperatures passed 60 and the sun shone brightly. Darling thought I was crazy when I took our convertible to be detailed and drove around all weekend with the top down (and the ... Comment - Like
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Feb 10, 2011, 10:45 am
Three years ago today, my younger sister was involved in a serious car accident. Longtime readers know the details, but the short version is that we spent four days on a roller coaster of emotion as she lay in a coma suffering from traumatic brain injuries. She was 26 and had likely never given a si... Comment - Like
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