According to The Onion,
LeBron James Puppet is dead.
“Upon returning to his apartment fresh off advancing to the NBA Finals,
Kobe Bryant Puppet discovered his roommate and rival,
Cleveland Cavaliers forward
LeBron James Puppet, lying dead in their bathtub. Los Angeles police officials stated there was no evidence of foul play, as the deep lacerations on James’ felt wrists appeared to be self-inflicted. “I knew he was upset about losing to the Magic, but I never thought he would do something...
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